DOSE:	40 mg	oral	Pharms - Citalopram	(daily)
	125 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT
	4 g	oral	Vitamin C

BODY WEIGHT:

185 lb

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

I generally do not post my experience journal entries but this one, in my opinion, is an exceptional example of an experience that SHOULD be shared with everyone.

I started the day in a good mood and was prepared to have a good time with my wife and kiddos. I woke with the feeling that I wanted to dose sometime today once I got a kid-free moment. I happened to have 125mg of 4-AcO-DMT (will refer to as 4AD from here on) laying around for a special day. The usual Saturday routine starts with a trip to the donut shop followed by the occasional chess game with the kids, random shopping trips, dinner out and then movies at home. We did all these things and my day was awesome. After movies everyone went to bed and I opted to skip the trip today and followed to bed. After laying in bed for an hour, plagued by insomnia, I was insomnia driven to change my mind about dosing. Everyone was in bed and I'd have the house to myself for movie tripping - a favorite pastime. It was about 1:30am when I got up and dosed. I had set aside 4000mg of Vit. C for the purpose of quantifying its potentiation effects on 4AD. I knew it had the effect of intensifying but I wanted to see just how much.

At this point I'll note that I take 40mg of Celexa, an SSRI, daily. This pretty much turns my effective dose for a certain experience to about 2.5x the dose it would take me without the Celexa. A 125mg dose of 4AD is not unheard of for me and this would be the seventh or eighth time at this dose.

On to the experience:

t+0:00 - Dosed the Vit C and 4AD. Got up and went to the bathroom. Made a few preparations in the living room for my experience to be. I searched and found a movie halfway through called eXistenz with Jude Law about futuristic video games. Weird movie to jump in on halfway through.

t+0:10 - First alert has already hit. I feel a wave of energy rising up from my belly extending into the top of my head and beyond. The familiar hum has already risen up into my ears. This movie is a pretty weird one.

t+0:15 - Fairly motile OEVs and CEVs have already begun. The general energy of the trip is one of awe and amazement. Mostly at the sheer speed of onset and intensity of the experience this short into it. I'm starting to have a hard time keeping up with the movie now.

t+0:30 - At this point I'm watching the movie but there is a very lucid thought stream flowing through my brain that is pretty distracting. The thoughts almost visualize within my head at times. The sensation of awe and wonder has pretty much doubled. I feel as if something huge is about to happen. The OEVs are incredible. The only way to describe it is as living fractal creatures swimming through the room, their coloration is that of the pure colors of the rainbow in clusters of spherical nodules about the size of grapes. The geometries these clusters are producing are nothing short of amazing. Only a half hour into it these are by far the most intense OEVs I've ever experienced on 4AD.

t+0:55 - The weird movie is now over and it kind of shattered my mind a bit at the end. I wasn't quite expecting the conclusion. I'm incredibly thirsty and the visuals have clarified some but are still just as intense just less fuzzy. I decided to venture to the kitchen and get some water before I put on the next movie I'd chosen, Transformers. Once I made it into the kitchen I'd completely forgotten why I'd gone in there and got lost for a minute or two in the beautiful fractals swimming around me. I then began pacing back and forth aimlessly in the kitchen so maybe I'd remember why I was there. Instead of remembering I was instead reminded of my roommate friend who does exactly the same thing when he forgets why he went somewhere. Immediately following this thought he crystallized in front of me as a very lifelike hologram of him - it was clearly a thought projection but so so vivid. He said to me 'See dude, this is what happens to us when we get old, man! You came out here for water...' then he smiled, laughed at me and walked off out of the kitchen into the dark hallway and was gone as fast as he'd appeared. I was so stunned that I just lost it into the deepest, most fulfilling laughter I've ever laughed. I laughed so hard that I just collapsed onto the floor into an indian style sitting position and laughed a stifled laughter for the next few minutes. I could not believe what had just happened and decided the best course of action was to wake him and tell him all about it. He was none too pleased about being woke at 2:30 in the morning but he did get a small chuckle out of it and went back to bed.

t+1:15 - I returned downstairs, got my water and stood in front of the tv, searching with the remote through all the movies. For the life of me I could not remember the movie I'd chosen to watch next so I was haphazardly skipping around in my collection. It was then that I heard a weird noise upstairs, almost like animals scratching around or something but there were no animals upstairs. I stopped, looked up at the ceiling and pondered on whether I should check it out or just watch a movie. For whatever reason I next turned and looked at the wall to my left and aimed the remote at the wall. This is the moment things get wonky. The trip abruptly ends and the living fractals just fall away from the ceiling down around me through the floor. The effect is that of magic stars that engulf Disney characters when a magical change transforms them i.e. when Pinocchio comes to life. A sudden wave of total calm, peace and love sweeps down through my head shortly behind the 'stars'. I suddenly realize all of my fears, worries and self esteem issues have completely disappeared. I am the person that every human was meant and born to be. A few short seconds later I hear what, for lack of better terms, sounds like lots of large machinery slowing to a stop and then it is so so quiet. So preternaturally so that I think I just went deaf. To test it I said to myself 'What just happened to me dude?', and I'm not deaf. It feels as if all of the evil in the world has been sucked out of it and all that remains is goodness and love. The world must have ended! This must be what it's going to be like when 'God' (that term is used as loosely as is possible) comes back! I was so excited that I had to wake my wife.

t+1:45 - Now upstairs in my bedroom I wake my wife and inform her the world has just ended and God has cleansed it of all the evil. This is what it's going to be like for eternity. She groggily wakes up and says 'What?' I repeated myself and she said 'How do you know? And why are you so calm?' to which I replied 'Don't you feel the peace all around us? It's so quiet.' This discussion went on for a few minutes but terminated in her deciding I'd snapped and was about to murder everyone in the house. She didn't share this with me at the time. I left the bedroom at this point and came back downstairs. My wife was shortly behind me and she hid all the knives in the kitchen! I went to the garage and laid on the cool floor with the dog. She, the dog, came and laid down with me in the most intimate and loving embrace that I never even knew was possible from an animal. She licked my face occasionally and in between laid her head on my chest. I couldn't help but feel like I was dying and my brain just didn't know it yet. Reality was slowly dissolving away around me in what felt like water flowing down through a drain. At this point I've lost touch with the concept of linear time. I have only a rough idea how long I was in this state.

Timeframe is over the next 4-5 hours, that's pretty close to the actual time I experienced what I'm about to write: I was floating out in some brighter than white lit void with the feeling of incredible speed and movement. I moved away from this light and saw many other points of the same light. It looked as if I was flying in space through the universe. I watched the universe expand and contract several times as I moved through it. Then I realized this isn't the universe I'm seeing, it's DNA! I'm flying through and around a double helix of DNA. I watched it grow and contract several times until the next thing happened - I watched several of my life periods flash before my eyes. It was non linear, almost like it was happening all at once but spread out forever too. I saw friends, enemies, loved ones, loved pets and many other things. These things all went by eventually until I was left at something that was the weirdest shape. I kept thinking I'm dying, this is it, I kept waiting for it to finally collapse and I die, but whatever this roughly spherical thing was that I was experiencing kept folding back onto itself through dimensions I didn't think existed. I eventually realized it was not going away. I was not dying. Whatever this is, it's eternal. I stayed in this state of complete bliss and love for I don't know how long. Everytime I asked 'what is this' the only discernible answer I got was 'Love'. Eventually I began going backwards through the stages I went through to get to it. Then the world flooded back into my perception very violently, forcefully. I was standing in my bedroom shirtless doing some sort of dance that I'm not even sure was dancing. My wife was in bed, awake, babysitting me from afar. I stopped, looked at her, and she realized I was somewhat back. She asked me if I knew how much trouble I was in. At the time I had pretty much no memory of what had happened. The sun was now up so it's roughly 7am now. I've got some pretty intense visuals still happening and at the time I was a bit confused as to why I was having visuals since I didn't even remember dosing.

t+6:45 - OEVs are still coming strong but not as strong as they were during the movie. These visuals are more the speed I'm used to experiencing when I dose at this level. I'm still a bit confused, not sure how I even got upstairs or how it got to be daylight out. Where's my shirt for that matter! CEVs are too strong to close my eyes as they're somewhat disorienting. I laid down in bed and my wife felt comfortable enough to fall back asleep. I laid there and put my headphones on while I listened to some Dream Theater. I tried to make sense of the night. It felt as if I'd went to sleep, been dreaming and then woke while sleepwalking.

t+7:50 - Visuals have come down fast. The OEVs are now gone completely. CEVs are mild but present and enjoyable now. The album I was listening to was over. I then abruptly fell asleep sometime shortly after the album ended. I generally can't sleep while still having CEVs - this would be a first that I fell asleep while having definite CEV lightshows going on. It was truly sleep too, not just another weird place I went to.

I know this was a bit long but I wanted to capture in as much detail as possible what I experienced. The thing that truly astounds me still is that even with all I've written I know that it dwarfs the true scope of the experience. I will never be able to put the full force of it into spoken or written language.

To be clear, this was not my first time dosing 125mg of 4AD. Never, not once, did I ever experience anything close to like this. This was the first time I combined pure bulk vitamin C at that dose with it. I am still blown away when I remember back to it and I'm still stunned that vitamin C did all that. Well, ok, not by itself but hopefully you get my meaning. I truly feel this was what Shulgin classified a ++++ or +4 experience. It truly defies logic and description and I cannot feel anything other than gratitude towards it that I got to have a glimpse of it. This experience has truly changed to the core who I am as a person. That feeling of calm, peace and love that washed through me - to some degree it has stayed with me since the experience. To regain it, partially, all I must do is briefly meditate on that moment when it happened.

I can't tell you what it means. I can't tell you that if you do exactly what I did it'll happen for you too. All I can tell you is that it happened for me and sometimes the memory of it feels more real than what we generally call reality here on Earth. I'm ok with the idea that I may never understand it but I'll be eternally grateful and forever changed since it did happen. Hopefully the individuals who review reports will find it in their heart to share this experience with the world. Thanks for reading this if you made it this far. Agape.

~The Tryptamine Squirrel~



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       '-, \./ \)\)

          `-| );/

             '--'-'

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 100158
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: May 24, 2013	Views: 16,640
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Vitamin C (192), 4-AcO-DMT (387) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3)