DOSE:

40 mg

IV

Ketamine

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

Ketamine IV

I had been awake with insomnia for 30 hours. I found a vial of Ketamine HCL and after researching this on the Internet and discovering it was a sedative I decided to IV in an attempt to finally get some sleep.

The recommended dosage from what I could find is 10mg per kg of body weight, I estimated my body weight at 80kg or near enough so I decided a test dosage of 40mg would be sufficient for a first try.

The Vial I found was 100mg/ml so I drew up .4ml into a syringe and injected this slowly over the course of 30 seconds or so.

There was no discomfort at the injection site, after a minute or less I began to feel dissociative and mild confusion. I was still able to walk so I put my kit away and made it into the bedroom where I laid down on my bed. By this time I was slipping in and out of reality, my grasp on consciousness was slight, everything was distorted and confused, i didn't know where I was or what was happening, there was a small part of my mind that still kind of knew what was going on but for the most part I was in a completely different reality. Nothing made sense, my thoughts were random and jumbled. My mouth was extremely dry so I walked back into the bathroom to get some water, my heart rate was massively accelerated. It seemed as I was walking that I was melting into the floor like I was a wax replica of myself that was baking in an oven. My mind was flipping being not knowing anything and glimpses of reality, I didn't really know who I was, where I was or what I was, it was complete disassociation from everything, everything was distorted and confused, colors, shapes and sounds were all wrong, I couldn't look into the mirror because the person there was someone I was not familiar with and didn't know.

I drank a small amount of water and stumbled back to my bed, it was like someone was flipping a switch on and off in my head, for seconds I knew something and for seconds in between I knew nothing but confusion and chaos. I have tripped many times on various substances but this was far beyond any other experience, my grip on reality was totally broken and I was barely functional beyond the thought that I knew I was supposed to lay down and that if I went to sleep maybe all this chaos would stop, I didn't really have much grasp of what was going on or what was happening, it was confusing and frightening, I was reduced to a fragment of my previous self, not knowing what I was or why anything was like it was, I had flashes of myself injecting the ketamine but didn't know if it was me or I had watched someone else do it and it was some kind of distorted memory that I had made my own, whatever and whoever I was. There were moments where my mind knew nothing of reality, like I was just a small speck of awareness floating in an infinite void of nothingness then snatches of reality, it came and it went, I had no control over my awareness of self.

I have no idea how long this went on, it seemed like an eternity, I was concentrating on breathing slowly and telling myself in the moments of awareness that I would come down and that I would be OK, I didn't believe it but I needed to bury myself in the lie to try and not lose it completely. At some point it all just switched off almost as suddenly as it had come on and I was back in my body and I knew everything and was grounded again, the visual distortions had stopped, I felt in control again and all I could think was 'What the fuck was that and what the fuck just happened???'. After another 5-10 minutes I felt almost normal and I went onto the internet to look up Ketamine again and see where I had gone wrong. It turns out that the IV Ketamine is supposed to be administered either IM or heavily diluted and at a much slower rate, from an IV bag for example. The dose I took was lower than stated but because I IV'd it pure and all at once the effects were immediate and catastrophic. I would not recommend this to anyone and I am afraid of what happened to me and yet strangely curious as to the effects it had on my mind. It was almost a spiritual experience, parts of it were entirely chaotic but I remember all of it very clearly, I can't really describe the experience as there are no words that can encompass the totality of it or even come close to conveying what it was like in there. I was everything and I was nothing, I was self and I was something else, I was spread thinly across an infinite number of dimensions and possibilities. It was a definite what the fuck experience and if I were to do it again I would make sure I had a babysitter present.

Additionally I had injected 15mg of Hydrocodone some time prior to this event but felt none of the effects at the time of the experience so don't know if that had any relevance. I had also some 1 hour previously injected IM with 30mg Ketorolac Trimethamine an NSAID as I suffer from chronic pain and this was administered for pain relief. Once again I don't know if these contributed to the experience but exercise caution if you intend to IV Ketamine and make sure you are in a safe environment and preferably have someone with you who is not indulging so that they can talk you through the peak if you need it and/or help you stay safe and 'grounded'. I was on my own and was completely lost and confused for a lot of it and have no idea of the duration although I believe it was probably not more that 15-20 minutes.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101350
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 43
Published: Sep 10, 2018	Views: 1,076
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Ketamine (31), Sleep Deprivation (140) : General (1), Alone (16)