DOSE:

1 cup

oral

Ayahuasca

BODY WEIGHT:

65 kg

This is the report about my first ayahuasca ceremony.

Set/setting:
I was nervous for my first ayahuasca experience, but also curious and looking forward to it. I was alone amidst more then 20 people of which I only knew one person. The ceremony took place in a big living room where we we formed a circle. The shaman was in the middle. Everything was taken care of in every detail. Together with another man we were the only two first timers. Soon I noticed we were in good hands as the people around us were very kind and open minded. The two of us got a pretty good explanation on how the ceremony would take place. At this point I was totally relaxed and couldn't wait for it to start.

Dosage:
I have no idea about the dosage or the admixtures.

Intentions:
Every participant was asked to share his intentions before the start of the ceremony. These were mine: confronting my fears and processing the passing of my best friend. This is still an ongoing process but I wanted to make sure to take this with me during the journey if possible.

Ceremony:
The ceremony started with the shaman blowing the mapacho smoke on each participant. Then he blessed the ayahuasca and we were to drink our cup. I had read a lot about the taste, but at the moment I thought it was still ok. Not as disgusting as I had imagined it to be. The after taste was a bit harsh though.

As soon as everyone had his cup, the shaman started singing. The songs were of such magnificence, still now I find it hard to believe. I had heard the shaman had been to Peru many times to learn the craft, but I wasn't expecting this at all. As it was dark, I couldn't tell the difference between him and a real native shaman. At that point I heard the first person vomiting. Then right after the guy next to me started to vomit. The noise that came out of him was terrible, which made me a bit uncomfortable being confronted with what was probably going to happen to me soon.

The visuals started coming before any vomiting of any kind. I recognized these type of visions due to my prior experience with dmt. They were of the same clarity and the intensity was increasing minute by minute. My third eye seemed to emit all the visions. It really felt as if my third eye had been opened wide and stimulated. I have been feeling this for quite a while now, when meditating and on my last mushroom journeys, so I enjoyed this feeling. Except that it was much more powerful this time.

Then came the hardest part of my journey, it was a weird feeling that crept into my mind, a feeling of boredom, a question I asked my self: what the hell am I doing here? It seemed as if for a bit I was stuck into this thought and it made me feel very uncomfortable, but I just went with the flow and luckily the visions started to get even stronger so that I didn't have time to ponder this question any longer. I can't exactly recall how long this took, but it seemed pretty short luckily. Now that I think of it I do have these moments of boredom in my daily life sometimes. Not as often as I used to, but still. I feel as if the ayahuasca was confronting me with it in a deep way.

This is when I thought, hmm I might not be vomiting at all, since quite some time had passed since drinking and the visuals were going strong. Of course at that exact moment the purge started. It was like a volcano eruption from the deepest part of my body. The visuals were also still going and every time I vomited it seemed as if my head was exploding. After that I felt relieved and much lighter. A phlegm needed to get out of my nose, and it felt like it was a nasty little moving creature which I spit out into my bucket. Still now I shiver at the thought of it.

This is when the visuals started getting even stranger and more in my face. I started seeing machine-like creatures of different colors who were moving. I also remember a lot of gray in the images. There were even violent scenes between them, like a decapitated being, but it seemed as if it was making fun of me, showing me its tricks or something. Also the movements of these machines were crazy, at points slowing down to a halt, and then speeding up again. The movements were circular, like spirals whirling and twirling around. A clockwork would be the best way to describe them. Sometimes the visuals were so overwhelming that I automatically opened my eyes, having the dotted vision on reality. Snakes were also very much present in the visions, not like one snake, but a vertical column like they would have been portrayed on a Egyptian hieroglyph.

The shaman seemed to be guiding me with his songs. He switched from very rhythmic pieces to very calm slow songs. At a certain point I felt the need to get up and start moving, as I had seen other people around me do. I got up on my feet and started dancing to the rhythm. This felt unbelievable! A sense of gratefulness washed over my entire body, a gratefulness to be here, to be alive. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I felt a deep euphoria mixed with all the pain and sadness together. It was at this point that I felt the presence of my best friend. I could feel him right there with me. Then a thought came to me that we had finally re-established the link between us through the ayahuasca. He had done this many times before. It was a great feeling to have.

I laughed and cried with deep gratitude towards the people there and the people in my life. Like it often happens to me on a mushroom journey I spend a little part of the journey thinking about different persons who mean a lot to me.

There were certain songs that some of the other participants knew and would sing-along. This was something so incredibly powerful as I could sense the vibrations of the singing through the room. It was as if all the sounds materialized in the circle. I could feel and see the vibrations emitted from all the participants. This is one key part that showed me how important it is to do ayahuasca within a group.

The ceremony took about six hours in total. A little while before the end of it I felt exhausted and had to lay down to get some rest. The visions were slowly fading and I felt myself coming back gently. One other participant came to me to blow the mapacho smoke over me once again.

It was an incredible experience for me, which has been on my mind a lot these last few days. I am very grateful to have been a part of it!

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101849
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: Apr 9, 2020	Views: 1,061
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Ayahuasca (8) : Entities / Beings (37), Guides / Sitters (39), First Times (2), Group Ceremony (21)