DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	buccal	25I-NBOMe	(blotter / tab)
T+ 3:30		smoked	Tobacco

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

I was bored on Sunday night, and discovered a forgotten tab of 25i I'd been saving in my room. So I decided to do a solo trip.

I put the tab on my gums around 8:30pm, hoping to begin the trip around 9pm. It was my second trip (ever). The first time, several months ago, the come up was quick, but I didn't start really feeling it until between 9:15pm and 9:30pm.

At 9:15pm, I had the odd feeling that I was growing taller and shorter in size, because the room kept sinking and rising before me, like I was bobbing up and down while looking at it. I felt nauseated, so I went to the bathroom, just in case. I stumbled in, closed the door, and gripped the sink with both hands, using it to steady myself as I lurched over to the side. I looked in the mirror as I leaned over. First, the bathroom wall slid into my vision, slanted, and the shower curtain behind my slanted into the mirror as well. I started laughing hysterically, and I didn't throw up.

By 9:40pm, the patterns on the carpets and blankets were spiraling around, purple stars were shooting into the room from the window, I was seeing crazy tracers, and every concept in the world seemed as new to my mind as to a baby. “Are you ok?” one of my psychedelically inexperienced friends asked. “Is your shirt ok?” I asked. The shirt looked like it was freaking out to me. Its stripes were crawling and pulsing restlessly across the fabric.

Between 10pm and midnight, I hung out with some sober, and some drunk friends in their rooms, narrating my looping thoughts, asking my best friend questions I hoped would lead to self-revelation (ex., 'Why do you think I'm addicted to sex?' 'Do you think being in college is like being on drugs?')

At around midnight, we all decided to go into the park to smoke cheap cigars. The park across from our building is expansive, with stairs, fountains, fields, and statues. Everything looked even larger, like the park stretched out into eternity, and the tree branches lit up like lightning against the night sky. As the wind blew, it looked like snow clouded my vision, blowing and sparkling around everything I saw. When I asked my sober friends, they said it wasn't snowing outside. They were right. The cascade of shimmering white flecks I saw didn't stick to anything, they just seemed to pass through everything. I started telling my best friend it seemed like we were in a movie. Then my mind took off and ran with the thought. 'If we were in a movie right now, we would all have a character development, a purpose. We're all here for different reasons. We all want something different from each other.” Then I felt like I was having déjà vu – like the park had elongated a little bit as we walked down the path to accommodate the length of my thoughts. “If we’re all here for different reasons, and we figure out what they all are, then we have the plot of the movie. Then we can all help each other’s character developments. That’s why movies are so much like life.”

Near 1am, we decided to watch the movie “The Spectacular Now,” when I had even more revelations about the relationship between cinema and reality. The movie “revealed itself” to me, as I was lost in the happiness of each short scene shot with a long shot, which was either followed by, or narrating a depressing event. Every time the main character panned out to think about his life, all he could see was how shitty it was, even though there was so much joy in hundreds of tiny moments, the “spectacular now,” that he could let be the narrative tone/theme of his life instead.

After the movie was over, at around 3am, my friends tried to teach me how to play the card games “spoons” and “pitty-pat.” Obviously, I was finished peaking, and although there were still uncolored fractals in my vision, most of the trip was in my head. Both games involved the holding and replacing of an even number of cards per player, as each player, in turn, sorted through the deck to make matches with their hand. The menial shifting of the deck that the rule of the games set up seemed to be a cruel satire about the card players. “We’re not playing these cards,” I said, as my friends complained about who was keeping them from finding their card. “The cards are playing us. We’re not keeping each other from finding the cards, the deck is.”

I started to come down at around 5am. My mind decelerated slowly between 5am and 7am, my thoughts became more coherent, and my visuals had completely ended. I stayed up talking philosophy and politics with my best friend until 10am, when I finally felt exhausted enough to go to sleep.

All in all, it was a great trip, and, as always, I learned a lot about myself from it x)

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 102556
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Apr 16, 2016	Views: 1,636
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