DOSE:

12 in

oral

Cacti - T. pachanoi

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

First Time With San Pedro

Mindset: I am finishing an advanced degree and I am on my spring break. I have a big hurdle to clear in the next three months and I am actually serious about trying Mescaline. I have been interested in psychedelics ever since I learned of their existence and I have researched San Pedro cactus since about the year 2002. In 2006 I discoverd some small San Pedro cacti growing on the side of a trail across from somebody’s backyard, which contained a huge specimen. It looked like a limb had fallen and sprouted some new plants. I have thought about those plants, growing wild, for the last 8 years. I started using cannabis in the year 2008 and it helped me to feel a lot more familiar with myself, my mind. I haven’t tried any other drugs except alcohol, caffeine and nicotine, and a few other experiences related to medical needs (broken bones, wisdom teeth,...). Although I have gone through some very difficult times personally, and I have been feeling upset and hateful about some parts of my life (which has affected many other parts of my life), I have a sense of purpose and confidence about this experiment.

Preparation:
On Monday, I went for a ‘dawn patrol’ surf session and stayed out for a few hours. As the tide ebbed, I felt the surf break move through a resonance between the incoming swells and the depth of the water, and I got some fun rides. I came home and drank a smoothie, then I drove to my hometown to harvest one of the plants. When I reached the spot, I saw that the cacti had been competing with another succulent plant for sunlight. The two had grown much taller together over the last few years. I imagined that the shady environment would stress the cactus, causing it to give a more potent dose. I cut off 3 feet of the plant and guessed that the remainder would probably die as it was quite shady down there. I planned to try one foot as an experiment, try an extraction method with the next 1.5 feet, and plant the last six inches on my porch after it had ‘corked up’ indoors.

Upon returning to my apartment I had some lunch, then I set to work. First I de-spined the cactus by making notches with a small knife and washed the cactus. Then I cut off the green outer layer of each rib, down to the white ‘inner rib’. My cactus had six ribs and was about 3” in diameter, which gave me 12 green strips, each roughly 12” long, 3/4” wide, and 1/4” thick. I laid each strip on a dinner plate with the waxy side down, and scraped off the green part using a small knife with a light touch. This was pretty time-consuming as I tore the waxy skin many times and had to get a new grip on the slippery strips.

Once I was finished scraping, I had a plate full of green slime, having the consistency of boogers. I was quite serious about consuming this, but I was not about to drink it that day — I was feeling very tired and drained from the process so far. I took some plastic wrap and laid it on the counter, then poured the slime on top and folded it into an envelope-shaped packet, and placed it in the freezer. My plan was to break this into pieces after it had frozen, so that I could swallow it with a little juice and minimize the taste.

The next morning I woke up with a cold, so I took it easy. I didn’t have my usual morning coffee, nor my usual evening dose of cannabis. I mostly laid around the house and listened to The Lord of the Rings from an audio book. I was very disappointed to feel too sick for tripping that day, but towards the end of the day, I began to feel a little better and thought I could probably handle it soon.

Dosing:
On Wednesday morning I felt a lot better, and I felt enthusiastic about trying the frozen experiment. At 9:30, I had the first piece with a little cranberry juice. Not too bad. I had another small piece every ten minutes until about 2/3 remained. I began to feel a bit nauseous. I laid on the couch to help settle my stomach and began to feel a little stoned, but somehow different — more clear-headed? I felt a lot of restless energy in my limbs as well. I decided to take a shower in order to warm up a bit. After I got out, I felt a little impatient with how things were progressing. I started on the rest of the cactus around 12:30, one small piece every 10 minutes as before. The taste and texture were much more difficult this time, and the nausea was getting much worse, but I really wanted to finish, so I did. Many times over the next few hours, I thought I should throw up, but just couldn’t quite do it. With a more concentrated dose, I imagine I would have thrown up and perhaps felt better.

Effects:
The nausea became really difficult to live with, so I decided to have two small puffs of cannabis. I began to feel effects similar to the greatest amounts of cannabis I have ever consumed at one time. Soon after that, it hit me: This is it. This is tripping. Perhaps on the milder end of the spectrum, but this is what people are talking about when they say ‘psychedelic’. I had expected to somehow change into a different person, but I still felt like the same person as I could remember. I felt a little let down on one hand, a little relieved on the other hand, and I felt glad to have such a gentle introduction to the possibilities of the psychedelic experience. The nausea combined with the lingering cold were plenty enough ‘body load’ for me and I was glad I didn’t have any more cactus to eat that day.

I spent many hours hanging around the apartment, gazing out the window from the couch, dancing to some favorite childhood bands, and playing with my cat, among other things. Near the peak of the experience I experienced some minor visual hallucinations. In a tree that was being blown by the wind, I saw some black triangular patterns, reminiscent of sitting birds. They moved smoothly with the mass of the tree rather than being buffeted by the wind, and once I realized that it was a hallucination, I was a little frightened and didn’t particularly like it. I was afraid that I was “breaking my mind”. I logged onto a trip sitting IRC channel and got a little guidance there, which helped a lot since I was on my own at the time. Later I closed my eyes and saw a faint “soap bubble fractal” effect with some irridescent coloration. I felt more accepting of the closed eye hallucinations and wanted to try tripping in the dark sometime, maybe around a campfire. The peak began to wear off around 6:30 or so, but the effects lingered for many hours after that. Around 10:30 I fell asleep.

I woke up early this morning as usual. I feel very mellow, and somewhat drained from tripping and being sick with a cold. I feel a lot more deliberate in my thoughts and I feel more aware of myself coming to conclusions about things. That is to say, I feel more willing to question some hateful ideas about myself and my outlook on life — more willing to look at what assumptions are built into these ideas. Another insight is: I was thinking that I had to overcome my desires in order to follow some deeper motivations, but now I think that my desires are already controlling me if I’m the one having them in the first place. So rather than thinking of overcoming my desires, I should think of my desires as things that are controlling me. This is kind of hard to explain in words — it’s more of an emotional reasoning process for me. I also feel a sense of accomplishment at having finally had a psychedelic experience and I am looking forward to trying an extraction method and planting my new cactus!

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 102996
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Jun 1, 2020	Views: 3,420
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Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Personal Preparation (45), Preparation / Recipes (30), First Times (2), Alone (16)