DOSE:	40 mg	oral	Pharms - Paroxetine	(daily)
	repeated	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine
	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
	5 hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

The Technicolor Yawn - LSD and Paxil
LSD Marijuana Paxil Red Wine

Just looking at the long list of drugs I have written above now makes me laugh in disbelief, but at the time this was pretty normal for me. Well, everything except the Paxil. My new girlfriend had talked me into seeing a psychiatrist and accepting psychiatric medication. I did it mainly to make her happy as it didn't seem to do much for me.

I remember the day this all occurred very well, as it was a pagan holiday - Lammas, August 1 - and we had just held a pagan ritual. That morning, my girlfriend had moved away and I was to follow her in several months to go live with her in a state I'd never lived in. We were having relationship problems already and I was very unsure about the situation, but I was very much in love.

Earlier in the day I had acquired 5 hits of paper blotter from a very trusted friend. I am reasonably certain there was nothing wrong with it and that it was LSD of the type I had been used to taking. Previous to that point in time I had taken large amounts of LSD on numerous occasions. I had stopped for a while because my girlfriend didn't like it, but I figured she would be out of town so why not? I hung out with my friends after the ritual getting high and drinking for a little while. One very strange but significant thing that happened was that an odd beetle came and ran up and down my arm. We laughed and said it was a scarab - Egyptian symbol of death and rebirth. I got a little creeped out, but then shrugged it off and went home to drop the acid.

I had two roommates who were cool, but they were at work which as fine with me. I dropped the acid and while I waited to come up, I lit some candles and incense and then lay on the bed. Everything seemed like a normal trip at first and I let my thoughts spin out where they would go. I thought a lot about the relationship and problems we were having and how to fix them, hurtful things she had said of which there were a lot. I felt a lot of stress building up in my body. I tried letting it all go but it kept building up. I felt nauseated and tried to tell myself it was the inability to let go of anger. But then I realized that I was actually going to vomit.

I ran to the bathroom and was sick. Gross. I recovered from that and began to walk back to the bedroom, but suddenly realized I wasn't done being sick and turned and vomited again. And then again... and again.... and again. Soon I began to panic. Why couldn't I stop? I couldn't stop. I remembered the scarab running back and forth along my arm and decided it had been a sign that I was going to die. The death god had come for me and my number was up. My girlfriend had abandoned me, my roommates were gone, I was all alone. I started completely freaking out.

I somehow got the idea that since I couldn't stop puking that I should take off all my clothes and climb in the bathtub so I could clean myself up afterward better. So I sat in the bathtub vomiting and crying and splashing water on myself. I thought about trying to go find help from a nearby friend's house but then I realized I couldn't even walk. I finally regressed to the point of feeling like an abandoned 2 year old due to issues from my childhood. I have no idea how long this went on - it seemed like hours. And then I heard my roommates come home.

They walked around the house, and I could hear them saying that they knew I must be home because there were lit candles and incense burning - all of this must have taken place in a rather short amount of time - but they couldn't find me. I began screaming so they would come find me, but they couldn't hear me! I only thought I was screaming. My voice wouldn't come out of my throat. Eventually they came into the bathroom and found me naked, in the bathroom, vomiting and crying.

The guy of the couple pulled me out of the tub and made sure I wasn't choking, then spent 5 minutes trying to get me to talk and tell me what I had taken. I was having a huge amount of trouble even forming words to speak to him. Eventually I told him about the LSD, the weed, the Paxil and the wine. He shook his head and said I should never combine these things but that I would be okay. He got me cleaned up and then spent the entire night sitting up with me in my room with a bucket while I continued to vomit, making sure I didn't fall asleep and choke to death. Things finally calmed down about dawn. I felt completely emptied out and drained.

I fell asleep and didn't wake up for 14 hours straight, not even to go to the restroom. There were no other ill after effects. I broke up with the girl less than a year later.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 103506
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: May 22, 2019	Views: 1,392
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Pharms - Paroxetine (148), LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Relationships (44), Combinations (3), Alone (16)