DOSE:	repeated	oral	Opioids	(pill / tablet)
	1 hit	IV	Heroin	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

My parents are addicts. My brother is an addict. I am an addict.

I didn’t have the best childhood, and it’s not like I’m blaming this all on that fact, but one thing I am sure of is that it didn’t help. As I grew up and moved out of my home, I realized that life doesn’t get easier as you move on. It truly gets harder. That is what pushed me to start. I can remember when I was in school, not long ago, and people would ask me if I wanted to smoke weed, or pop some pills. These people, they weren’t my friends, they were just people I went to school with. I never bought into the whole drug thing. I always told myself I would never start. I wanted to be better than my mom and dad. I wanted to be successful and live the dream life.

There I was on third shift, working in a factory. It was hard work with long hours. No real friends or family to help me with any problems. My boyfriend certainly didn’t help either, always saying there was nothing wrong and that I didn’t have it that bad. Without telling you my whole life story, I will say that I have major depression issues and post traumatic stress on top of a panic disorder. Normal everyday life was a struggle for me. Honestly, I didn’t want to live, but was not able to bring myself to suicide. I always thought things would get better.

I met a boy who had a lot of similar interests and was a lot like me. He was quiet, sweet, and very polite. We started to hang out after work. When my boyfriend left for work, out the door I would go to meet up with my new friend. For the longest time that was all it was too, just innocent friends playing games and watching television. Until one day I went with him on a run. We were on our way to pick up some pills.

I was curious and asked a lot of questions. He was comfortable enough to answer. The stories he told of how these pills would make him feel intrigued me. At this point, I was all for trying some. I was ready to let true euphoria take me over and kill the stress and pains of my life; even if it was just for a few hours. It all started with the lortab, Percocet, and morphine.

My boyfriend found out about all of this; the boy and I hanging out, the drugs, and decided that it was too much for him to handle, so he left me. The boy and I got a long so well, so we decided we would get together. It was the perfect relationship. We shared everything, including our drugs. One day his dealer said “Do you wanna try some H?”

Hell, all we really knew was that it was like a painkiller, but stronger. It was just another opiate, right? So we went for it. It was the first drug I injected. It topped everything I had ever done. It was like a sat down and got out of body, and my problems, and just floated away to somewhere where pain was nonexistent in any form. It took me. I went from a casual pharmaceutical user, to an IV heroin user in a matter of minutes. One decision changed my outlook on everything.

I don’t mean to make this sound glamorous, because believe me it’s not. Nothing is good from cooking a drug and injecting yourself with it. Except that one moment when it hits me. Coming down though, it hurts worse than before I took that hit. The remorse I feel is incomparable to anything I have personally experienced.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 105801
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Aug 19, 2020	Views: 2,179
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Heroin (27) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Families (41), Depression (15), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)