DOSE:	3 g	oral	Smarts - Phenibut
	20 mg	oral	Prolintane
	3 hits	smoked	Cannabis
	1.0 - 1.5 tsp	oral	Coryphantha macromeris	(fresh)

BODY WEIGHT:

190 lb

Late one afternoon I was high, irritable, and depressed. I had been taking phenibut (3 grams), which tends to make me too emotional, prolintane (20 mg), which gets me pretty high-strung, and I had smoked three or four good hits of high quality weed, which confuses me a lot and can therefore make a decent conversation turn into an argument.

This is a terrific combination sometimes, but when times are tough and I have a lot to worry about, it can lead to some pretty awful behavior on my part, and I could feel my worst side getting locked in so I stomped away into the woods, saying I wanted to be alone. I wanted to find peace and solace in nature, but as I said, I was locked in to one of my incredibly bad moods. I had no intention of returning home, figuring to either kill myself or just keep going until I was as far away from my problems as possible and never let anyone know where I was.

The prolintane had been taken about six hours before and was beginning to wear off, and the weed high would probably be gone in an hour, but phenibut seems to produce a high that lasts nearly twenty four hours at varying degrees of intensity throughout that time. My mood was no better, though, and I really could not bear the thought of going home. Moreover, I felt like just putting everything on hold for a while and to try to let the beauty of the forest, in the mountains, take me wherever it chose for me to go.

So I decided to head up towards a lean-to that someone had put up near the peak, so I had some decent shelter to find repose in and to try to get my head right. This was not a sound idea, of course, since I had simply torn off barefoot (I always hike barefoot) and without water or any kind of blanket or supplies to go camping. But when I'm in one of those moods, the idea seems good because the drama and adventure of it appeals to me.

I live in a one bedroom cabin in the woods, and have searched the woods for medicinal and psychedelic plants all my life, wherever I lived. I was fairly sure I had run into Dona Ana cactus up on my mountain before , so last year I ordered one from an online vendor so that I could study it and be as sure on my identification as possible. A few hikes confirmed it, but I hadn't attempted to bioassay the cactus because of the only report available, which said it caused rather intense and prolonged nausea. I simply didn't know if I had the time to devote to a strong trip, intense nausea, or both.

The face of the mountain I was on was rather sheer, almost a vertical cliff, but I knew some decent places to switch back and make the climb easier. Still, it isn't any kind of leisurely stroll, so I needed to stop for rest a few times. I stopped to rest, feeling despondent about my future, seeking solace, and seeking some kind of answer out here so when I saw this cactus right in the middle of my trail I knew what I had to do. It seemed as though it were predestined or that some ancient Mescalero god took pity on me and laid a gift out right before me. In that spirit, I dropped every natural consideration about setting, and being prepared, and all other cautions.

I was very hungry, as I had eaten nothing all day (prolintane is quite an appetite suppressant) so that was in my favor against nausea and any bad taste I might encounter. Of course, I had no knife, so I carefully dug into the cactus' flesh with my car keys, which were in my pocket, and ate the meager amount of pulp I could manage to scoop out. This was maybe a lump about the size of an almond, and because I had to handle the cactus carefully, it was from the center of the plant-- we all know that psychedelic cacti usually deposit their alkaloids close to the skin. Furthermore, to my great surprise, there was no bitterness and the flavor was agreeable, therefore I didn't expect that this would have any effect at all. When I felt it kicking in within minutes, I thought I must be imagining things, and that the feeling I was getting was just from the other drugs I had taken. I kept walking, thinking if I concentrated on the trail instead of the buzz, it would surely go away, as I had certainly conjured this imaginary sensation of a trip coming on.

I stopped to rest again and saw that I sat within easy reach of a ten inch long, New Mexico crevice spiked lizard. Granted, it was late afternoon and starting to cool off, but I found it odd that the lizard made no attempt to flee, even when I reached down to pet it and stroke between its spiked eyebrows.

I talked to the lizard and told it I was deeply sorry to be one of the creatures who were destroying the planet and killing everything we could for profit. I must have been there talking to that lizard for a good five minutes, when I realized I had better get a move on or it might get dark... or the trippy buzz that had not abated might become too strong and incapacitate me before I got to the lean-to.

At this point I had no doubt that the very small amount of center pulp that I had eaten was indeed doing stuff to me. I wanted to be close to shelter when and if the nausea hit too, so that if I needed to lie still I could do so for as long as I wanted. Hastily I dug into the pulp again, eager for more. I got about half as much the first time and the darker green stuff closer to the skin as well. This was not bitter either, but had a stronger taste-- similar to morning glory seeds.

I knew that there was a good chance it might get dark before I got to the peak, and even in daylight prickly pears and other hazards to bare feet are hard to spot, yet now I got the sensation of boundless energy-- that I could run as far as I wanted to without ever having to stop. I felt like my feet weren't even touching the ground, and as the shadows grew deeper, I also felt as though I would be able to see in the dark. My visual field grew more vivid. About halfway to the peak I started to feel a little uncoordinated, my sense of balance, of up and down even, was a little off. I began to feel a bit like I was in a dream and began singing and laughing and ranting out loud.

Some of what I was saying wasn't very pleasant and I felt really bad about running off and leaving my wife to worry me. I began to get very introspective. Also, my clothing felt too constraining. I wanted to get to the lean-to so that I could take them off. The body high was very nice, with a relaxed, tranquil feeling like shrooms, and something kind of like rolling on MDMA, but different. It was about as euphoric as shrooms, and I actually liked it better than any body high of this kind that I have experienced.

Finally I got to the lean-to, regretting that I hadn't just headed home when I found the cactus and fairly sure there was nothing to do now but pass the night without anything to cover my body in the cold. I took off my clothes – which felt wonderful, and draped them over the posts to dry the sweat from them. I called my wife to tell her my situation and not to worry about me. She urged me to come home, and I said a few strange things from my free flowing thoughts. The filtering mechanism that keeps me from saying everything on my mind was lowered or absent (mine is pretty low to begin with) and there was something I had felt before from shrooms and also from acid-- the way my thoughts went all over the place and I said whatever came to my mind, no matter whether or not it made sense.

I realized that if I was to attempt to make it home, I was wasting time rambling strange thoughts to my wife over the phone. I was absolutely sure I would be out there trying to find the best way home by moonlight. I gnawed a tiny morsel more, but dropped the cactus into the dirt, so I decided I would wait until I got home to eat more of it. This was the last I ended up eating-- overall one to one and a half teaspoons of pulp, mostly from the center.

Along my way I called my wife and described my progress. I felt so good I scarcely paid attention to my feet, avoiding prickly pears only in the nick of time. The impairment of my sense of balance intensified and I knew I was potentially in for a lot of trouble. I had scarcely gone much past a stone's throw from the lean-to when I realized I only moonlight guided me now.

Although I talk of laughing, singing, and a body high that can't be beat (absolutely zero nausea!) remember I was going through a tough time, and much of what I saw or thought was agonizing and filled me with deep sorrow, or useless self pity. Still, it was cathartic. I had needed a trip very badly to clear my head, and it seemed almost like a miracle that my own mountain, where I live, just up and handed me one!

I cried stuff like “you hate me!” to my wife, but she loves me! She loves me and she came out with a flashlight to try to guide me home. At one point she was so close I could hear her talking without the phone, but that's as the crow flies. The ravine between us went two hundred feet down, and some of it was steep enough to almost be a sheer vertical face.

Now I rested to try to figure out how I was going to climb down-- and that's when the visuals started. The clouds pulsed and the stars swam like tadpoles. They and the moon exhibited tracers each time I moved my head and I felt so relaxed and full of pleasure. I closed my eyes and saw dense multicolored CEVs that were less geometric like shrooms and more liquid, like GHB (yes, I can get CEVs on GHB if I take a large amount and manage not to go into a coma). Seed heads of grass swayed in the breeze over my head, divinely illuminated by the waxing moon (about four days before full, there was actually plenty of light, although the ravine seemed as black as pitch!).

I turned out to be near one of the more gradual descents, but it was still dark, I still felt completely off in my footing and balance, and I gave up trying to use my cell phone as a flashlight, because when I did that, all I could see was tracers.

Finally I made it to the bottom of the ravine and I went from there across somebody's yard, over to the road that goes up our mountain. I called my wife to pick me up and kept walking, talking to myself and knowing that I would appear crazy to anyone I might run into.

When I got home, I told my wife I needed to rest and she said to do that while she made us dinner of cauliflower, potatoes, and yogurt with turmeric. Kind and patient as she was, I continued many dark outburst, annoying and distressing her. When I lay down in the dark, I still felt like my legs were moving and like I was ambling all over the mountain. The CEVs now became more vivid and structured, like planks painted with iridescent paint, rotating around in space. I fell into a hypnogogic state and began to experience something like twilight sleep, only more lucid. I let it lull me to sleep, although I often awoke with a sudden start, in mid sentence saying something absolutely nuts (my apologies, I can't remember all the batshit stuff that spilled from my mouth).

After sleeping five or ten minutes, dinner was ready, and I felt the body high even more intensely as I got up to eat. My thoughts and words were more ordered now, even though by my lack of coordination I appeared to be drunk. I reached within my heart and attempted to tell my wife kind and sweet things to make up for all the bad ones.

She was really quite loving and supportive and I felt like an ass for being so angry and full of despair earlier. I'm lucky to have her, I'm lucky she keeps staying with me, and I am so glad I got to take the Dona Ana cactus! I have also seen mammilaria and other cacti out there. I can't wait to take these again in a more positive setting. This was the best seritonergic high I've experienced, in terms of euphoria and body high. I still can't believe how little I took to trip like that!

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 105909
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 47
Published: Jun 9, 2019	Views: 1,407
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Coryphantha macromeris (893) : Alone (16), Nature / Outdoors (23), What Was in That? (26), Combinations (3), First Times (2)