DOSE:

repeated

oral

Ethylphenidate

(capsule)

BODY WEIGHT:

63 kg

The first time I learned about EPH was because I was looking for a milder, more euphoric kind of stimulant than speed. EPH was suggested. I used them on several occasions :

Note :
- I always make sure I eat healthy, have enough fluids and get a decent amount of sleep (sometimes with the help of benzo's).
- I am diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2, but when using ethylphenidate, I always made sure I was off the meds.

My capsule dosages : 50mg, 75mg and 100 mg ethylphenidate

september 2014:
1st time I used EPH I took one capsule of 75mg for 4 consecutive days. The first capsule made me fall asleep, though I have to admit I was feeling tired before I took it. At that point I was laughing at EPH, considering it to be a really low stimulant. The days after I felt the EPH like it should and my appreciation grew.

It starts out with giving me a warm fuzzy feeling, sociable, increased confidence, less irritability towards people. I felt the effect for about 3 hours with a peak around 1,5 hours after intake. The come down was bearable, but did leave me with an urge to redose, and general irritability.

These days I didnt need a benzo to fall asleep. I took the capsules in the afternoon, slept well. Woke up well. One to be repeated.

March 2015:
Acquired some 50mg, 75mg, 100mg pills

Got the much anticipated package, immediately took a 50mg cap at 11am. An hour later I didnt feel much and decided to take an extra 50mg. More or less 30min later I felt that specific EPH feeling that I so love: I feel confident, sociable, with a genuine warm feeling towards the people I encounter. It feels like every edgy part of me is now gone. This is how I always want to feel , that is what I repeatedly say.

EPH works for 2-3 hours with me, the batch I got was gone in a week. With a daily average use of 200-300mg, 4 hours in between dosages. I used 0,50mg of alprazolam to sleep. During this episode however, I did slightly begin to feel depressed when the effect of the EPH was diminishing, after a day or two. It felt like horror to go to my own depressed, anhedonic normal state again. I guess that is where my bipolar disorder ruins it for me. My baseline feeling is shit, so EPH makes me feel how I should feel not being bipolar. (That is of course my subjective opinion)

Couldn't get EPH for 3 weeks after this. The first three days after my daily use were horrible, I felt depressed and slept more than normal throughout the day. After 4 days these bad feelings started to go away and I could lead my normal life again. By the time my next batch arrived, I was completely clean for 3 weeks.

April 2015
Got a huge batch of capsules 50mg and 100mg.
Decided to put the 50mg aside and directly take 100mg. I agreed with myself that I would not redose within 4 hours after intake. Yeah..

Day 1 :
10:30am: 100mg
2:30pm:100mg
5pm:100mg
7:30pm:100mg
Took a benzo, slept short but well and felt ok in the morning.

Day 2 :
I took 300 mg during the course of the day, the effect wears off after two hours now, so I redose after 3 hours because I know I am already taking high dosages. I feel the need to redose, hard to not give into it. Eventually I decided to not go to 400. Had a good night sleep, with benzo, but had a slow morning, tired and lazy.

Day 3 - today

I decided to swallow a 50 mg first and just take 50mg every two hours to have a continuos rush, but not a hard one. 50mg did nothing, so two hours later I took another 100mg, and another 2 hours later, and another.

After the last one was lived through, I really started feeling depressed, melancholic, weak, guilty and utterly nothing. I realise I should not use it daily, even though I like it. For me this is a dangerous friend. One that is irresistible but I know it is going to hurt me in the end.

In moderation and for use now and then this is perfect.

I will need to do some thorough introspection on how I will handle the rest of my package in a healthier way. :)

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 105973
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 33
Published: Feb 18, 2017	Views: 3,967
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Ethylphenidate (563) : Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Retrospective / Summary (11), Unknown Context (20)