Life Change
5-MeO-DMT
Citation: Harry S. "Life Change: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp106274)". Erowid.org. Jul 14, 2017. erowid.org/exp/106274
DOSE: |
5 mg | smoked | 5-MeO-DMT |
BODY WEIGHT: | 200 lb |
Here is my story. It is wholly factual no matter how bizarre.
I suppose this all started when I was a child. This is not about whining about my youth but pertinent to the story. I was beaten and despised as a young child starting from the moment of my birth.
As I grew I realized that if I asked Jesus and God for something it would come true. This started by asking for beatings and such to stop. Then it morphed into to me asking for things like to go skating and petty aspects. I immediately felt remorse and decided I was not worthy of such a gift and asked God and Jesus for this never to work again as I would abuse it.
I then learned to live differently and left religion. I became more calculated and science based and I essentially turned cold and I have been told by ex’s that I am incapable of love. I had not realized what this had done to me.
Fast forward a life that I have lived and I say this boldly, no movie impresses me over my life. The stuff I have seen and done in this life is more than movie worthy. I should have been killed many times over and for a time I kind of lived a reckless life almost daring the world to kill me.
So now I find myself in Spain, on an unrelated issue or so I think, and the opportunity to experience 5-MeO-DMT comes up. I genuinely knew very little of it except it’s supposed to knock my socks off.
I have taken for years many mushrooms and hallucinogenic substances where I have seen much and many times they end in the same place. As if we are energy like a piece of static. I had hoped that perhaps I could see my true self or even some insight in the energy static aspect that I have had probably hundreds of times via other substances. I was hoping for a journey but had no real understanding or expectation and was taking with eagerness one might have before getting on a new rollercoaster for the first time but with no fear.
I stood on the beach and watched people go before me. I saw them struggle and fight their demons/issues and become free. I saw their expressions when they fought and when they were freed they became like children. What I saw was physically unattractive but yet it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
I saw a lady spit up her gallstone, I saw people become free of their issues ranging from the dramatic to the physical and I was watching holy work being done and then it was my turn.
[The facilitator] walks by me and taps me on the shoulder and says your next. I turn and make my way to the area. I stand and ready and the towels and pipe come up. I remember hitting the bowl and their instructions, slower, slower, you’re doing good, a little more, hold it………………………
Now this next part has taken a week or so to piece together.
I am rising up out of shadows into the light and as I go up I see my life story and what is what. I see where I veered off the path of life and where I should have gone.
I have seen the negativity that the wrong path has given and what it has done to me and how it has altered and affected all aspects of my life, physically and emotionally and I never knew it.
I have seen all the positives and negatives that I have created and affected in my existence and I see the end result of that. I was a person who was not pure, not clean but not evil either but I had some real scars and baggage from the life I led that was hidden from me. I was unaware of these issues.
I could see these things for the first time and saw how they hid from me by hiding behind concepts such as reason and justifications and really it was just a trick that kept me in a state of mind that prevented me from being truly happy and this cancer was slowly destroying my family. In short, it’s hard to be at the top and it’s even harder to stay on top. The way I managed and operated was wrong and my success was unequaled. So I believed I was correct.
The trick was complete and this negativity began to control me and what a powerful thing it was to control me and yet be invisible to me.
After I saw and understood this I was elevated higher and that darkness I discuss above. That negative energy, that demon or what have you was burned away and all the aspects of negativity were cleansed and I saw and knew everything instantly that I needed. This was the most profound experience of my life.
I met God, well God’s love, and it permeated all through me and I never experienced anything like it. It is undeniable and so many things are happening at once it is not possible to explain fully.
Everything that we know here on earth is like a test or a battleground. The choices and actions we take from mere thoughts to physical behaviors matter and have repercussions. Live moral lives!
This life is not a game and what you are in life truly matters, not only later but in the here and now so to speak. We are smaller than sand but brighter than stars and we all have the same value. It does not matter how lost you are. You have the same value as anyone else. You are just farther down the wrong path and there are consequences for that and the farther one gets away the more lost they feel but do not fear as God loves us all and I believe if you’re truly good in your heart you can be freed no matter the restraints.
When I came back to the beach, I was sitting with [the facilitator] and I could see 3 spirits. One I understand as my wife, who was ill at the time across the globe. At this very time, her illness and nausea that was affecting her broke. I make comment about my wife to [the facilitator]. I believe the other spirit was my Great Grandmother who had always tried to bring me to religion but I ignored it. I am unsure who the 3rd spirit was. The timing of the video of my experience coincides with my wife independently saying when she got better. I had seen how my health affects my wife and how it’s a symbiotic energy.
I had already stopped taking medical pills about a week prior to this experience due to other aspects bringing me back to my religion. This experience reinforced this issue. After the cleansing for certain I no longer am a diabetic. It’s been about 3 weeks and my blood sugar is perfect where before it would have been off within half a day. I ask Jesus to bless water before I drink it and the taste gets better. The PH went from around 7 to 6.5. I no longer suffer back pains that have plagued me since a child. I have my metabolism back and I am once again funny which I had lost due to having to be serious all the time.
I truly feel reborn. But now the real question begins. Now what? I can say this, everyone says if you could ask God one question what would you ask? You will ask nothing because all the answers are instantly known to you. You simply have nothing to ask.
I have felt God’s love. I felt forgiveness and cleansing. I was made new again and I had some pretty bad health issues as well that are gone. I have joy in my heart and it is a wonderful and beautiful thing. So what it does it all mean?
I do not really know as I forgot that part but I know it does not matter to me as the path will show itself and I will follow it. I no longer know what worry is. I simply pray to Jesus and God for a solution.
I have been able to hold the memory of God’s love and it is a light within me. It has not diminished. For me, this is God. To others they see different things and different experiences. I think it shows you what maybe you need or to maybe what you can handle. I do not really know. I know I believe wholly I felt God’s love and all that I wrote above.
I am not saying this is the only way or that this is a religious thing. It was that for me and I have seen this be different for about everyone who took it. For me, it is undeniable and changes in my life have been made. I am very grateful for [the facilitator] and I imagine he lives a very mystical existence and I thank all that has enabled me to meet him and for the toad.
I have seen everyone come out of it and hug [the facilitator] and call him brother. I thought I would not do this. I was wrong and am very happy for it. It is with genuine meaning that I call [the facilitator] Brother.
I am aware of how positive this experience has been not just to me but to others as well. I thought I was just going on a journey, a pretty cool experience. In reality I woke up and was made whole again. My life has been corrected and altered and I see this in others and my heart swells with joy and gratitude. I say thank you God and thank you Jesus.
The toad is a gift, not a drug.
It is with honor and respect that I write above so that all my brothers and sisters of the light may benefit or simply just to know of my experience. I do not need to take this again, but I want to. I believe the world needs this. Imagine…................................
Exp Year: 2015 | ExpID: 106274 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 43 | |
Published: Jul 14, 2017 | Views: 1,410 |
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5-MeO-DMT (58) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Guides / Sitters (39), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Group Ceremony (21) |
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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
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