The Day I Died
AL-LAD
Citation: delightfullydisturb. "The Day I Died: An Experience with AL-LAD (exp107942)". Erowid.org. Feb 16, 2016. erowid.org/exp/107942
DOSE: |
900 ug | sublingual | AL-LAD | (blotter / tab) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 180 lb |
0800 Took 6 tabs sublingually.
0815 Putting clothes in the washer, when I swallow the tabs as they have become too mushy and the texture is kinda weird.
0900 I put on a youtube video about some obelisk and aliens, I wasn't paying attention as I was texting someone. Text in phone starts to dance so i stop texting. I go outside but it's is too bright. Painfully bright. it literally hurt. Not like a sharp pain but a dull, deep body ache that stopped as soon as I went back inside... This is where I feel it turned sour. I felt that I was somehow going to die for some reason, and I thought my tabs were NBOME (even though I am certain it's not, but at the time I thought they were) and I notice my heart rate is starting to speed up.
I start freaking out thinking I am going to die, thinking I took 6 tabs of nbome and people have died from just two. Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. (This is how I was thinking, not right now. I'm fine and safe) I thought of calling my sister or 911 as I was really scared, but I decided that if I fucked up and killed myself, I'd go alone. I didn't want to involve anybody and did not want to have anyone witness my death.
1100 It's more or less an hour before noon and I had decided I was going to die and wanted to die 'normally'. I wanted to be doing something 'normal' when I died so that whoever found me did not suspect drugs or murder. I threw away all my al lad (I had only a few tabs left) and also threw away all my benzos down the toilet. I'm actually glad I tossed the benzos, but will get to that later.
1130 More or less I put on a youtube video about some crazy unsolved murders and I am convinced that within a few hours, my existence will cease... I stop freaking out, I have accepted I'll die, and I'm spending my last few hours on... youtube. Soon after I started the video, I was BOMBARDED out of nowhere BAM! in your face everything just broke... I can't even put words but the world broke and I wasn't sure what was me and what was my bed. It's not ego death, I don't think. I've never had ego death but I still had a sense of self... I just wasn't entirely sure what that self was... if that makes any sense...
1200 I'm sure that I am in the process of dying.
1200 I'm sure that I am in the process of dying.
1600 I suppose I fell asleep, or blacked out.. I came to sitting on the side of my bed breathing very deeply and drenched in sweat. Almost as if I had just finished working out. I am confused, intense tracers still make it hard to get to the bathroom, but I get there, drink some water.. I'm feeling so confused. Why am I still here? Instead of being thankful that I didn't die, I was confused as to why I was allowed to live. Doesn't make sense, but then again most things don't. I go back to my room, turn on the air conditioner and go to sleep...
1830 I wake up feeling very refreshed. In a very 'hangout-y' mood, which is weird for me as I am very introverted and solitary. So I take to the internet as I have no irl friends to share/vent with.
END of trip
Exp Year: 2016 | ExpID: 107942 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 24 | |
Published: Feb 16, 2016 | Views: 4,409 |
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ] | |
AL-LAD (603) : Alone (16), Overdose (29), General (1) |
COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
Erowid Experience Vault | © 1995-2024 Erowid |