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Immersing Into the Happiness of Everyone
MDMA
Citation:   Sweet. "Immersing Into the Happiness of Everyone: An Experience with MDMA (exp108431)". Erowid.org. Oct 16, 2022. erowid.org/exp/108431

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
100 mg oral MDMA (capsule)
  T+ 1:00 100 mg oral MDMA (capsule)
  T+ 0:00   smoked Cannabis  
BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb
My first experience on Molly, at the time of writing this, seems to be a life changing experience, although I have yet to experience the long term effects of the drug. I am writing this approximately 48 hours after rolling, but my feelings on the drug are still very clear so I want to document them while I still can very accurately.

I have lived a generally happy and stable life, with the exception of about a year and a half where I suffered from moderate depression which was caused from an overload of stress and external pressures on my life, but at the time of taking the drug I considered myself to be in an overall healthy mental state. I have gone through phases over the last four years where I have smoked weed occasionally (less than once a week) to where I have smoked more than once per day. I have also taken mushrooms once, and the experience was absolutely wonderful, and LSD twice, in which both experiences were not very good and I will most likely not do the drug again. I had never done molly up to this point and going into the experience I had no expectations and kept a very open mind the whole way.

The entire day leading up to taking the drug I kept completely sober so I would have the most pure experience possible. I would be taking the drug at my first rave so it was two brand new experiences put into one. I was generally excited but also nervous for the experience, but I was going to the rave with one of my best friends who has raved and taken molly many times in the past, so this eased my nerves a lot. The molly we bought was advertised as being 100mg each, however I believe that they were weaker because it took me more than one to really feel the effects.

I took one capsule of the molly right when I got onto the dance floor of the rave, which was good because it was calm at first which allowed me to ease into it without feeling completely overwhelmed. After about an hour I began to feel more generally happy and uplifted but not so much that I felt like I was rolling, and I think I was feeling the very light effects of the molly but I also just felt happier because I was in the crowd dancing and listening to music, so I decided to take a second capsule.

After about 30 minutes after taking the second capsule I all of a sudden was rolling really hard. I cannot put a specific moment onto when I actually knew I was rolling but instead I just flowed so smoothly from the state of sober to rolling that the transition was practically unnoticeable, there was almost no come up. It was like when you fall asleep in the car unintentionally, one moment you are on the way to the destination and then when you wake up and you are there all the time in between that you were expecting to experience is just gone and it takes you a moment to realize that you actually fell asleep, that is the best comparison I can seem to come up with. Once I was rolling though the euphoria was so high, the music took on more depth, the lights seemed to hit my eyes much stronger, and I could feel the energy and happiness of all the people around me like I never have before. This led to one of the most amazing and fun nights of my life that I will never forget.

During the time when I was rolling I felt this overall amazingness inside of me that I don't think could ever be replicated. During the rave I felt so immersed in the crowd of people around me dancing and having the best time of their life. I could feel this energy so strong that it actually took my mind away from the music and the lights and put all my focus into this energy. The entire time I was looking around at people, watching them dance, and just enjoying the moment I was in more than I had ever been able to while doing anything in my life. My friend that I was with actually told me on multiple occasions to stop looking at people and to get into the music, partially because I think he wanted me to experience that side of raving and partially because I may have looked like I was going crazy because I was looking around so much that I probably seemed almost schizophrenic, but to me this was how I was able to get this energy off of everyone. I am generally a very introverted person and I have a hard time opening up and meeting and interacting with new people, but while on molly many of these barriers were gone
I am generally a very introverted person and I have a hard time opening up and meeting and interacting with new people, but while on molly many of these barriers were gone
and I felt so open about myself which allowed me to effortlessly interact with everyone around me. It made me want to dance with every single person I saw and simply enjoy life, for just a few hours, with each person that was there.

By the time I began to come down I still felt very stimulated and energetic without the heavy euphoric feelings that I had experienced earlier in the night. When we got home me and my friend smoked some weed just to try to combat the stimulant effects of the drug so we could try to sleep, but I ended up staying awake for about an hour just because the weed brought back some of the effects from earlier and it made it hard to sleep.

Over the next few days however, I have felt semi depressed after doing the drug. I think it is a combination of the fact that the drug creates a chemical imbalance of serotonin, but also after coming down from such an intense euphoric feeling, it makes my normal state seem boring and somewhat unsatisfying, but I have had this effect after using mushrooms as well and it seemed to pass after two days or so, so I am hoping that will be the case with molly.

Overall though, the night was one I will never forget. Being in a room where everyone simply puts away all the troubles and hardships in their life and comes together to be happy and free while enjoying music and everyone's presence gave me the knowledge that there is happiness to be had in this world. I met so many beautiful people that night and made so many amazing memories. This felt like how drugs should, the molly allowed me to open myself up and simply enjoy life and the other humans around me.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 108431
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Oct 16, 2022Views: 413
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Cannabis (1), MDMA (3) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2)

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