DOSE:

2 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

90 kg

So I'll start at the very beginning. I realized it was trip day, had been overworked the day before and really needed a break from all the electronics. There was also a first timer I'd be guiding today, we'll refer to him as “the dude”.

He showed up, I told him the basics, that personally I like to talk (verbalize) less when I'm tripping, but laughing, cheering, howling, skipping, dancing, all OK. Also told him about the charge-up period. That is, when in the beginning of a trip the shroom does its thing internally, we may feel faint, but to not break that, just sit or lie down, eyes closed, make sure you are warm and let it work on you.

We drive to the park. I am of course doing my normal way of breathing, you might have heard it during Ayahuasca ceremonies, shamans, every once in a whole they may let out a phewww!!!!! thing, it's like, half whistling, half bird sounds, half normal breathing, no telling what it is but yeah, it's clear and sharp and pretty loud. I wasn't trying to get anyone's attention, I just do this naturally, after all the tripping and not caring too much about staying all stuck up in public, head down fitting in.

We go towards the forest, and as we head there, a girl crosses our path. She was extremely shy, said sorry, and I noticed hey there's A TON of teaching I could do there, about confidence, playing with juggling balls, chalk, good vibes. The girl looked lovely, just very insecure energy. We talk about her, the dude and I, and at one point I turn to look, and ponder actually going back to interact with her, see what's up.

The dude grabs me and rather mindlessly pulls me away, as I was pondering, interrupting me impatiently and saying 'She's too young!' and pulls me to go to the forest, so we can trip. Hurried mind, impatient.

Immediately I am annoyed with him. Too young to what? To fuck? Yes. Maybe. Too young to interact and connect with, to play and dispel her insecure vibes, her blocking of her own breath at the slightest hint of stepping the wrong way? You're never too young for that. Furthermore, she needs a positive male influence in her life, and last I checked most of the youngsters here are insecure themselves, or they use cigs and booze and smartphones to avoid intimacy and be mind-elsewhere. This girl can stay as she is, get a poor male role model to play with, OR I can step in, and screw your lame assessment that she's too young. Who makes these rules?

I definitely did not like the interruption, nor the idiotic snap judgment he used to make it, like there was no real substance and thought before he laid hands on me and interrupted a genuine legit inquiry, should we go back or not? And they were two girls, we were two guys, could have been a nice chat and juggle session before the trip. But rushed minds don't see these things, they are in a hurry.

We get to the forest. We stop to just make a break, but that turns out to be our actual camp site, spontaneously chosen. It was OK, not on the main road.

I notice the guy talks useless stuff all the time. I mean I talk a lot too sometimes, but I like to believe it has some depth. This dude was just telling me what he was doing. Talking to just lower his own energy. I'll put the bag here and the shoes there. I'll do this. That. Mmmkay, I didn't say anything, hoping he'll get the hint.

He brought lemons I brought shrooms. We cut the shrooms up in a jar. He takes out lemons and does more useless talking about them. I brought both. Do we need both? The big one or the small one? Bunch of needless chatter. I slice a lemon up, give him half to squeeze and I keep my half. As I squeeze my half and am focusing some good vibes and intent into the juice, what we need out of this trip, he verbally interrupts me with useless advice that I should take a spoon and do it that way, because yadda yadda. I say DUDE, you squeeze your half as you wish, I will squeeze mine. The man was oblivious about the other things happening here, beyond the mechanical acts of getting lemon juice out of a lemon. There was intent, peace and focus needing to happen, and those need silence. I had noticed that he was also missing signals, when I invited him to cut some of the shrooms up so we both contribute, his mind was elsewhere. He got it eventually, but I had to repeat myself. Not too cool.
I then take out the rattles (maraca-like things, whatever they're called) and start shaking them, to get some rhythm going in that space. I shamanize and organize, rattling to get that chhhh-chhhh-chhhh-chhhh rhythmical vibe going. After going solo for a while, I hand one to him, so we can harmonize and rattle together, synchronize our rhythms. The man was neither rattling with me, nor keeping a clear rhythm of his own that I could form up on. I maintained some rhythm, he took off on his own not paying attention, then I started forming up on his rhythm, and it was all jagged and weird, no constance, like every few beats he'd go off in his head, it was a mess. Rather than working at this and figuring himself out, getting a synchronous rattle vibe going, he just gave up, handed it back to me, like it doesn't matter. Mmmkay I figured, I did more solo rattling with both to keep a good energy, and ended up with a nice Whooooooo :)

I then started stretching, took my shoes off for electro-balancing with the forest. He looked puzzled. I said you do what you want mate, I will do my thing. He said he'll keep his shoes on. No problem there, it's a free forest :)

I saw that he's quite tense and stuck, and so I told him to turn around so I can do some scanning on his back. Put fingers on his shoulders, checking for tension, was pretty uniform, no knots. Still moved some things around, to make sure energy was moving. The dude says 'Dude you suck at giving massages.' Holy smokes, hello, negative stuff said out loud :) Did not say anything but needless to say that's the last time this dude is getting any massage work from me this lifetime :)

Then he mentions oh I was joking. Well I've seen that game before, saying negatives out loud and 'I was joking.' I know who I'm speaking to, what his neurology is made up of, if interruptions and negativity are his idea of fun.

But anyway, we eat the shrooms and set out for the voyage. He lies down, I find a good tree and go sit with my back on it. I make sure he's sitting well, give him his jacket as his hands were exposed to cool forest air. He mentions 'damn mosquitoes' and I give him my gloves to wear on hands against bites. We are all set, we can now explore the underworld!

I sit next to my tree and remember from a documentary, that allegedly, trees have energy that if you ask nicely, they can impart. They can help you balance your field, by sharing of their field, nice and strong from the forest. I make peace with my tree, I tell and show him (it? naming is more complicated with trees) my troubles, that I have liked this girl that I met in this forest, that it didn't work out, that I have gathered much anger towards her and showed it why, what happened, how I brought my best game and tried to make things work, and I got this and that reply, that I thought she was lying and unfair, and so on.

It listened and it and the shroom and all of the forest showed me internally just how it is, how these happen, that there's a lot more at play here than just making logical sense, banging this or that girl. We are here to learn, to grow as souls, as consciousness, to learn to stay in tune with ourselves, it's a beautiful game, and if my head was more in tune with the base of my spine, making my EM field stronger, surely I would have prevailed with this girl, and with many others before. It showed me where I have been very wasteful in my thinking, acting, and in nature waste has consequences.

This all was happening eyes-closed by the way, hat pulled over my eyes for darkness.

I found myself ashamed at some of my stupidity, I mean I've reached a stage where I'm not as wasteful with my energy as I once was, but compared to shroom and forest standards I was a complete baby, prone to temper tantrums when I don't get my toy right away. In this case my sex toy, the girl I craved and wanted.

What began was a long and detailed account of all the ways in which I and my fellow humans are constantly moving ourselves into shock, panic, cortisol, creating seeming crisis and reasons to panic, to block breath, to drive our brains into emergency mode where there is no reason at all to do so. I was shown that we all have reasons to do this, that is traumatized parts of our neurology will be more likely to panic faster, and so whatever happened to us as children, growing up, if it was good, warm, caring, leaves playful, relaxed fun neurology around, and if it was shit, conflict, rude treatment, leaves behind coarse rude messed up neurology more likely to generate fear vibes, unstable electric signals that then we can let or not let ripple out through the rest of our neural net.

In my case, my tendency to panic with girls stems from my mother, a very distant, non-tactile woman, minimal hugs or clear focused attention, and this has left in my head areas of neurology that just fear. Fear not getting the hug, not getting skin, not getting eye contact, not getting warm caring affectionate words. If and when I let that fear ripple out into how I interact with females today, wham! Neediness, lack of patience, coarseness, ruins the whole show.

As I was perceiving all this, I was breathing deep, eyes closed, hat over eyes, drawing that good energy from the base of spine into the head, not letting it out by eyes nor speech, my hands all covered against external cold and also touching for left-right brain synchronization, electrically, trough skin and fingers. At some point I was sticking a nail into my forearm to balance out the guilt I was feeling, for crap I had done, I don't know how that works but it helped.

All the while, every once in a while I'd switch focus to the dude's breath, make sure he's OK, and hoping that he heeded my words of keeping his eyes closed, not letting energy out by the eyes. Or if not my words maybe my example, as I was within his visual field,visible, all skin covered for heat, and hat on eyes for darkness, for internal work to happen. You can lead a horse to water but not make him drink. He didn't pay me to be his shaman by the way, so beyond some shrooms and vague faint feelings of friendship I had no duty to this dude, beyond having shared my gloves, advice, and now watching his breath. Had I been in a better state myself I would have maybe rattled and whistled and sung for him to guide his trip, blow soap bubbles or spoke trippy words for his amusement and awakening, but as it is, we all get the shaman we deserve, at that particular level of consciousness :)

At one point my head sphere (mag field around my head) felt HUGE. I touched my knees and feet, and normally I think of them as big, that I'm a big dude, but now they felt ridiculously small, as compared to the size of my head field. It felt like an alien with incredibly big head, and tiny tiny body by comparison.

At one time I needed to pee. I get up, find a tree, and notice that I am reluctant to do it, because there was a dirt path below and what if people come on it and see me. Shroom points out, well what are you afraid of? This dirt road is a trajectory, with various 'human events' (EM fields, sound, skin, molecules) coming on it. Are you afraid of the proximity to the trajectory (road) or the events/objects/situations that will flow on it?

I have no answer, but make careful note of the phrasing, of the precise nature in which humans are described, and I get that the lesson was in a type of focusing attention. Like what's more important here, peeing in a relaxed, cheerful, joyful timely fashion, breathing easy and at peace, OR tensing up about what MIGHT happen, what IF humans come on that road, when in fact there was no human in sight or hearing range. This goes to TPN versus DMN focus, like, am I generating fear, and HOW MUCH fear am I generating, just by being there with zero stimuli at all to signal danger, about what MIGHT come around?
Let's explore this. Animals have less Default Mode Network in their heads than we do, less capacity to plan or imagine future events, both good or bad, and they live more in the present. If present is chill, they be chill. If present is tense, they be tense. But then they either die in the fight or they run or win it, and then present becomes chill again and they be chill again. This leads to a life spent mostly doing chill, breathing easy, playing.

It's amazing to me to see now, the ridiculousness of a human being tense and stuck up about peeing in a forest, with no signs of humans around, because there MIGHT be humans coming. Perhaps. Maybe.

And sense-boosted humans as well, that is, I could hear any humans approaching LONG before they could see me, and STILL I was tense, etc. This was a few seconds of thought, but as you can see, quite deep in terms of neurological analysis, because the more energy we put on the danger sides of our DMN, feeding those neurons that produce ideas of danger, loss, shock, whatever, the more we will myelinate and strengthen that part of the neural network, which does nothing but generate stress, cortisol, adrenaline, crisis mode where no crisis actually exists. There were no humans there. Even if there were, no death penalty would have followed from me peeing on a tree in a forest.

I then go back to my tree. I notice the emotional matrix / net we're a part of, how we all draw energy from it, and then make sound or movement from that energy, like birds modulate theirs in fancy sounds, focusing on preciseness and rhythm and frequency, how high and low it sounds, and ability to modulate that frequency in fantastic ways. I notice crickets draw from this field and chirp away regularly, focusing on amplitude, forming like a cricket network. I notice that all beings form their own variations of sound, like networks upon networks, and that the mushroom gives us sufficient in-the-moment neural plasticity to learn to conform and communicate with all of them, that is, you can feel the cricket, you can feel the bird, you can match their neurology with yours, become more bird or more cricket.

The energy of the tree was beautiful, flowing vertically, protecting, balancing. It's no accident that Buddha meditated with his back to a tree, not a wall or chair. Living being. Tree.

I notice the guy is inhibited as hell, I am hearing no breathing at all, leading me to suspect he is letting out all his energy by eyes, which I warned him against. Not my business, shroom will teach him his own lessons, that's his business.

I did notice that there's some giggles and laughter back and forth between us, but most of all I notice that this guy doesn't really breathe. What he calls being calm is this tense nervous inhibited breath, when I leave out the occasional cheerful laughter, he leaves out a nervous clearing of the throat. I see no need to open eyes to look at him visually, I sense him perfectly well by hearing what sounds he makes with his energy.

And then the stuff happens. I need to pee again. I go towards the same spot, the forest tells me to find another tree. I spot it, I go to pee next to it. I am much more chill about peeing in the forest.

I then notice the tree. Wow. Treeeee energy :)

It is alive, and things are on it. Beautiful tree Something moves. It is some sort of tiny insect, beautiful patterns on the back, but it also looks a little like a lizard. Moves the same, in bursts and then is still. Burst, and then still.
I see that the tree is a flow process that is long tall and large and slow, even.

I see that the insect thing I was looking at, is a process of packing DNA in a smaller shape, compact, decorated, armored, patterned, and it is a way of keeping matter together with a certain kind of EM fields and forces, so that it holds cohesively to each other, that is 'makes sense' and 'keeps it together' in a certain way. I see that the small insect plays with the tree, and that the tree supports and nourishes the insect. I see that the tree is wise and large, and the insect is like a child. I see that the tree takes energy from the sun and provides, and speaks to fellow trees, and that we (the more mobile, smaller creatures) are like the kids playing and making cheerful sounds in a large biological castle. The old trees are wise but have no hands or feet to move, but are happy to see us when we visit, they get from our minds, from our EM fields our memories of our adventures, our stories of intelligence and fun and how we develop our biological games, and it is great fun for them how different our ways are from their plant ways, and yet we still are one, coming from the same source.

I look at the small thing again, the insect, and whistle a song to it to call it back out, as it went into the bark of the tree, in one of the cracks. I hear my own sound, and see it rippling out into the forest, and realize that all of life is this calling forth of understanding from mystery, a sort of dance, physical or neurological, asking nature to tell us its wisdom. Whether it's a girl or a tree or an insect, the way we put attention on it tells us nice or horrible stories. If we dance nice it will dance with us.

I notice that the tree has insect holes in it. I ask it, don't you mind having these holes in? It says no, and shows me that there was once a time when there were no insects and trees had no holes, and while that time was peaceful and plants only fought each other, it's like the forest had no children. Then it gave rise to the children, the insects and animals and birds and humans, and so now it is happy to be our mother, to allow us our little games, even when we bore holes into it. The tree is big, the holes are small, this tree was getting old, and as its EM field weakened, it left more and more empty parts in its trunk for insects to come in and reclaim it. It was a tree for a while, but also food for tiny insects, playground for the squirrels, and soon it will be something else, in the big circle of life. So the answer was no, the tree did not mind these insects in its bark and trunk, it learned from them stories of how to pack DNA in mobile form, and maybe soon in a few more lifetimes the consciousness of the tree may even try out the mobile life as an animal, see what that is like, experience it. If and when it does that, the forest will recognize that insect was once a tree, and offer it shelter and room to play and experience.

I hugged the tree, thought of the dangers of ticks in it, and other dangers, and the tree told me that I should breathe and listen to my heart, that as long as I move mindfully I am protected, I will be told where to be and not to be, that no tree will let me get bitten or harmed as long as I am one with the forest.

I hugged it, did some movements from the spine, and noticed how EM field lines were rising up, things were forming from the base of my spine towards the head, and noticed how much I've let this last thing with the girl bring my energy down, stop my dance and song, and thus take me nearer to death. I realize that the method to stay healthy is to move, dance, breathe, eat happy mushroom, stay in the whole body, in the present, not lost in the head.

I see that mushroom/Kundalini/Base of spine energy is trying to teach me something, that i have to go into ecstatic dance to learn it, it's a song/dance that the tree and all the forest knows well, but humans have forgotten. I see this dance growing and moving me from the feet upwards, taking me over, but then I lose focus, worry about what the dude will think of me, what if other humans come and see me basically mimicking sex in front of this tree, and as I lose focus, the energy dissipates and the Kundalini cannot teach itself to me. I must say that this was a universal thing coming from the base of my spine upwards, spiraling, i was merely following a spiral with my body and following its rhythms with muscle contractions. I realize that this is at all times available to me, to us all, all we need do is go trip in the forest and keep away from talkers, distractions, keep eyes closed for a LONG time and it will come into us.

I say thank you to the tree and move downwards. I see another tree I want to make contact with. On my way there I go and mindlessly just touch another tree. I stop, look at it, the vertical bark marks get angry, sharp, jagged, cold, completely angry.

I am floored by the realization. HOLY SHIT! This TREE is completely ANGRY with me!

I cannot believe it. I look at it, try to dispel this as some figment of my imagination and no, it's there dude, it's really there! This TREE is 100% angry!

I realize that I was mindless of it, that I just approached without stopping or saying hi, asking permission,I just barged in and wham, laid hand on it, as mindless as a drunk. I could FEEL the tree having the exact precise emotion about me, that I have about drunks (while drunk) or smokers (while mind-split, blabbering away, cut from their own emotions and deeper aspects). Same exact emotion was coming from this tree, straight into me, each vertical crack in the bark was like angry piercing eyes staring into me, nasty, telling me to go away, mindless piece of shit.

I go away a few steps, I feel better, I look at the tree asking if it's OK now, he's like GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

I am in complete amazement, as I feel this tree literally pushing me away, like, well not physically, I was moving my legs, but it was creating this directed state of emotional discomfort and aiming it at me, so that I GTFO and leave it be, until I ponder some manners and learn to behave in a forest. I am floored by a tree's ability to do this, and there's no question in my mind that it was doing it.

I go, moving on, having just learned that holy smokes, trees are 100% sentient. Jesus. What the hell. Okay, moving on.

I go and let magnetic navigation take place. I just feel my insides, heart and plexus, and navigate in such a way that it feels way. Go back toward the camp and dude? No, that's not it. I'm not even sure where the camp is. Go back toward the road. A few steps, nope, that's not it.

I come back a few steps and just crouch down and see myself in an egg. Breathing, I am in an egg now. I am a baby bird or reptile, cocooning in an egg. I miss Mother. This feeling grows inside me and becomes unbearable. I feel it move me, make me break free from the egg and search for her. I get up, ask the first tree, are you Her? It says no. Go there. I go left and ah, there you are

I find the tree which is my Mother. I look at her and sense the EM field. It was welcoming and nice. I feel protected in its shade. It was some sort of pine, coniferous, the kind that has resin and pine cones.

I move close sense the energy, put hands on it and start to remember.

I was a squirrel once, we all had this nice instinct to be protected by the trees, climbing, grabbing trunks, developing neurology to move the arms and fingers. The tree protected us and taught us and kept us balanced.

I once was a bear, and learned to climb and play and scratch my back against trees, and there the Tree Mother, the Forest, was there for us still.

I once was a baby bear, and had this strong instinct to hold on like this, to hug, to be as I am next to this tree. I once again ask about dangerous insects and it tells me it is all right, that I am safe here, I will instinctively be warned to move if there is danger.

I close eyes and hug tree for a long time. It shows me how that other tree that was angry at me was a Father tree, and am remembered of times when my human father was angry at me for speaking in a certain way to my human mother. My human father is dead now by the way, cancer at 55, and I believe it had a lot to do with the way my mother is cold, distant, like she has or shows very little emotions. I know she tries but most of her head is so noisy (frightened?) that she's always avoiding all of us, me, my dad, my brother, interrupting conversations, mostly focusing on the physical and neglecting the emotional, and so that's why I was speaking to her that way. There's nothing to really do here, I just witness how my being aggressive and my dad having to be more aggressive to calm me down, how that contributed to his early demise, how not just my mother, but the whole tribe, the whole planet, resulted in a situation where this human is afraid, emotionless, unconscious and so on.There was nothing to do, just to witness and let go.

Many times I returned to baby bear form, and holding on to this Mother Tree for stability.

A bird to my left was digging in the forest leaves for something, flying on branches, playing, doing its stuff. I would have normally went to play with it, but right now I was rather sad / scared baby bear, and needed to stay and hug tree-mother.

Much time passed in this way.

At one point I saw the human dude rise up and come my way, and I felt his brain was gearing up to speak human language to me. Before he could speak I signaled, shhhhh! Raised finger to my lips. I saw he was all packed and ready to leave, was fine with it, waved at him and hugged the tree, connecting to Mother.

The idiot human whispered my name.

Instantly I felt the neurological disturbance that his dissonant unwelcome sound generated in my neurology, the sheer stupidity of a human speaking, a few seconds after being signaled for silence, shhhh!

I ignored him and growled as I was annoyed baby bear. I also pulled hat over my eyes, signaling I wish neither verbal nor eye contact at this time.

The idiot spoke my name again.

I growled louder and felt aggression building up inside me, feeling that there's a real possibility I will in fact move out and punch him. Of course that would mean letting go of Mother and also starting violence with my human brother so close to her, so yeah, decisions.

He verbalized that 'bye, I am leaving' and I said shhhh! and waved good bye. I knew he was leaving, I had mentally scanned the forest for where my backpack was and sensed no other humans, and was fine with it. I just hoped he got my anger just as I got the tree's anger, for acting retarded-human style, blabbering human words inside sacred space.

By the way as the dude approached my focus broke and I broke a small branch off of Mother tree. I felt pretty bad, and also noticed how losing focus leads to in a way, harming reality around us. Unintentionally, but still.

During more eye-closed time hugging Tree Mother, she told me that I would soon go to this new forest (volunteering at a psytrance festival) and showed me that right now I am (for better or worse) still in the influence range of my human mother, her way of doing things, and that when I feel ready to venture forth into the forest, to explore and take my chances with the biological and energetic - attentional game out there, I should do so. It signaled and showed that these humans (mom, dad city, country) had one way of packing biology, information, EM fields and breath, and that their methods could only take me so far, and that for me to find real new ways to bring to the species I am part of, I would have to leave behind what they taught me, and if I go and be in the forest, learn from it, I will be able to sing, fly free, learn, be free of this burden of trying to fit into old rules and patterns, blocking my breath because someone else won't like how I am or what I do.

This part is a bit harder to explain, but it spoke of going from a tribe situation, which is limiting but safe, to one of raw untamed wilderness, where everything goes, you get to keep what you learn, but also can lose everything if you go in unprepared, as in the real forest the game is no holds barred.

In a sense it was saying if you're ready to go outside your family's influence and fly alone that's fine, just know that you will be getting into very different territory, where both risks and wonders are much greater. It also showed me that there are some issues with how my mother sees things, that she thinks her inhibiting me and worrying are helping, whereas in fact she's just wasting her energy trying to control something she doesn't understand, a force much greater and wilder, structurally and energetically different than her own, half-alien in a way, forest spirit, half animal, untamed and free.

The final part of my trip in the forest was this. Saying good bye to Tree-Mother and thanking for everything she taught me, I went back to the camp. There there was my backpack and the bag of trash with the lemon peels in it. I felt, hey, these are full of nutrients. I can place them here in the forest to degrade for fuel, the trees will like them :)

I went looking for where to bury them. Went to Father tree (it was now OK with me as I was respectful) and it sent me on to Mother tree. There I said thanks again and placed both peels of lemon at its base, with good intent, and covered them with leaves. I said I don't know if they're laced with wax or anything weird but you get what I mean, right?

It/she said yes, it's fine, don't worry about it, it's the sincere intent that matters :)

I also got how in real life, I don't really do things for my mother, I feel that the way she interrupts and puts stress into me / us (all the people around) is disruptive and destructive and unhealthy, and so knowing that she likes cleanliness and order, I instinctively leave messes around the house, signaling that no, we are NOT OK right now. The physical mess will go when the glaring emotional neglect between us will go. I have now many ways of helping a human feel and be healthy, but I don't use these teachings with my mother, as I feel resentful for the messed up superficial unattentive way I feel she treated me all my life.

I realized that I could not let go of the past enough to clean up the relationship with my human mother, nor clean the house live in as that signals our relationship accurately, but I can express affection for my Tree Mother, I want Her to feel good and clean and safe, and there's all this trash in the forest.

So I already had the trash back in hand, I started cleaning up plastic bottles, bags, all kinds of stuff. I saw places where cigarette butts were piled up, I sensed the mindless anguish of the youngsters that smoked soooo many cigs in the forest, I felt their thoughts and inner dirt and pain, whatever they got or didn't get from their parents and lovers, I just witnessed it and cleaned up what I could.

There were bottles, packs of cigs, juice and beer cans, all kinds of things. I realized that the act of learning to clean up is an incredible necessity in my life, to allow others to be irresponsible as I once was, I saw that I was to one day have children and I'd better learn now to be compassionate about their shortcomings, and just lower my ego for a while, learn to clean up plastic from a forest.

I also noticed how usually I'd get angry when noticing this behavior, smokers and drunks leaving waste and ugly crap everywhere, I might clean it or not but still internally get angry, make cortisol about it.

Well in a full on shamanistic insight, the forest / shroom showed me that every single mess is an opportunity to clean up, help, and get serotonin internally. Every bit of trash we clean is witnessed by trees, non-material things that fly around, and without exception we get the positive effects from performing it. We lower the ego, increase good vibes, get energy and long life. Dopamine, Serotonin.

Before long I was literally looking for trash to pick up, and also investigating the forensics of what might be happening there. Sugar - Cheap Dopamine. Cigarettes - Cheap Dopamine and attentional brain-scattering. Alcohol - Neglect-increaser, precision reducer, EM field weakener. Each piece of plastic put in the bag immediately turned into positive vibes, Serotonin, lightening up the load.

There was a deep and wise message there, that even if your human mother may have closed your ways to in good faith send affection, you always have your Forest-Mother that you can help out, return there and help share, learn, play, and you will be helped as well. What we cannot do is live mother-less and father-less. We must express respect and affection towards something, else we cannot live well.

During this process of cleaning up I got to the Father tree and stayed there. It said that now that I've understood more about what Mother said and showed me, we can talk. It was not really my personal Father tree nor really that particularly in tune with me, but was more male energy and of course knew magnetic tree magic, and so I could learn for a while. It just fit the father archetype close enough to get the point across.

I put hands and fingers on it and noticed in these last 5-10 years, how strong my fingers have become, I remembered how I helped my brother regain health by using pressure points and massage and breath wisdom learned from the trips and Ayahuasca, I told the tree that hey, if I only had these skills back when my dad was sick maybe I could have helped him out in some way, but of course that soul is on its own journey, was its time to move on then and there. It made its own choices and had to play the consequences out.

I asked, will you tech me more magnetic magic, to use?

It mentioned something that if I use it to also help my mother then yes, everything around me will teach me, if I give back to others, the forest and universe will always teach and show me more and more.

It then did some things with its EM field, I could feel it getting red and different but only in my legs, up to about my knees, and we played and spoke of magnetics, chi, meridians, prana flows, it was obvious that the juice is there for all to use, I mean it's Tao, it flows like water, but nobody can breathe your breaths for you, as much as you breathe in clear you can use, as much as you waste in worry you cannot.

Breathing life into things. Breathing life into our spine, meridians that end in fingers, and with the right kind of non-wasteful focused neurology, we can use the strong pure magic that never dies, always changes.

There was also a condom package in the forest, which made me very glad, and the trees said they had fun too, when humans were mating there before them :)

I reaffirmed my wish to come and mate with fresh females in that forest, and indeed all forests, if the good vibes are there let us mate and balance each other with great joy!

Rest of the evening was less eventful, I had with me rainbow juggling balls, chalk, soap bubbler, but it didn't feel right to bloom out this day, I must recharge and prep for other days, for sun and forest and the festival season. Big lesson in growing older, when you can't just waste energy everywhere, it has to go out in focused bursts at the precise exact moment. Have had 3 months of very wasteful period, and must now rest and recharge.

There was this sense of 'I have laid waste and siege to my own castle (neurologically) and created panic and torment in the mind, and I myself have ruined my house and now must mend it.'

One brief interaction that showed me how flexible the network is, one girl with an insecure boyfriend, asked me for my rainbow LED juggling ball I was playing with, I didn't have enough juice to steal her, hypno her into my game, but it was trivially obvious that when I'm in my full form, full EM field and Serotonin / Oxytocin / Dopamine / Testosterone tanks all full, that would have been a done deal, and in fact ANY weak relationship is open to be overwhelmed by stronger ones, no weak male can lay claim to a female's magnetism if a stronger mag field male steps in, sharper, more attentive, more aligned and true. There was no interest in pursuing things further, it was just a lesson that see?

We juggled and talked for a bit, I was given ample time to make my moves, the boyfriend guy was not even really there, total insecure wuss, zero challenge, I saw the possible moves, I just didn't have enough EM field cohesion and EDSO stores left to perform the actual moves, nor was it the time and place to perform them, with this particular female. I need more rest and charge-up for others, better matches. I need my Telepath Queen and can't be bothered with normal sugar-filled humans.

I took out the soap bubbler for her, and it was obvious in the way I blew bubbles that no, that union is not really supported, nor am I in my full confidence while exploring for it. I left, not a word was spoken by the way, the whole interaction was silent from my end, just juggling, throwing and receiving rainbow balls, it was fun.

Final event of the evening, I walked around a lot, was still kind of disturbed in many ways, a dog showed up to play, various small interactions, then the park emptied and I went to rest on a bench. I was pondering all the magic I had learned about trees. The crickets were amazing, great sound to balance those brainwaves to, to harmonize, synchronize, resonate.

A tree to my right was very beautiful and so I went to communicate with it. I asked, will you teach me magnetics, tree magic?

I extended arms to feel its EM field and felt clear sharp electrics in the back of my hand, remembered the old lady that once told me that I have bioenergy (not sure of word in English, just ability to heal with hands, fingers, like moving Qi / Prana I guess, bio-electrons) and how she told me to go out and touch living plants for this to develop. I was feeling the electro-tingles just at a certain distance from the tree, and it was showing me the connection between looking, breathing and 'powering up' energy meridians that end in fingers.

I also stayed there and noticed that the closest cricket would stop singing when my mind would get troubled and I'd stop breath, or breathe unevenly. I played a long game with it, of breathing easy, in such a way that I don't disturb the emotional field in a way that troubles the cricket and stops its song. It worked tremendously, I mean, I'd be motionless, I'd hear some girls in the distance, open eyes, look at females be mentally drawn into how to hook up with them, I'd forget to breathe and wham, instantly the cricket would stop singing. Disturbance in the Force detected, ripples in the emotional field in the vicinity. I suspected the blocked breath changes my electric charge, the load in my meridians, and at close range the cricked would be able to detect this change, this disturbance. Close eyes, breathe a few breaths back to here and now, cricket song again. Much wisdom in this, great practice.

During this last part, the last magnetic tree and cricket, I saw a guy come around, he was angrily speaking into his phone, something like:

'It was these cunts that got me into smoking! They're the reason I smoke! She pissed me off, I had to smoke to cool down, I was at one cig a day, two a day, now I'm at ten a day, goddamn bitch!!!'

He was walking violently, angry, male in his early 20's, well dressed. I pondered a few ways to stop or help him, they were available, but it would require that he signal that he's ready, in some way. I stepped out of the shadows and made myself visible. I looked to him signaling I wish to interact, that I can potentially help. I mean I didn't say or do anything with arms, I just looked and was calm, still, grounded, peaceful. He stopped, looked at me, paused for 2 seconds then went back to his phone and puffing his e-cig angrily, talking about the bitches. Oh well :)

As he went away I felt within myself this almost urge to go, step in, show off how smart I am, that I see these connections between him smoking and girls treating him like shit (he was complaining of girls' head games, phone games, writing to him and then not answering etc. Been there too, right in his shoes, just minus the smoking) and I felt this I guess vulgar tendency to get in there, to preach, show, be vulgar with my knowledge, expend and waste energy trying to help someone that isn't really ready to be helped at this time.

He turned around at one point and passed me again, still talking, still angry with the bitches, still not looking, not hearing the crickets and the beauty of the park at night, on and on that it's the cunts and the bitches' fault that he is now angry and smoking. Oh well :)

From there I mindfully and carefully went home, avoiding people and main roads and the sound of cars, to keep my inner peace.

Sooo this was my story. I hope everyone enjoys and finds whatever connections and insights they need. These things have all happened, this day and this trip. These things I have done and witnessed. Much love and thanks for reading :)

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108575
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Aug 20, 2018	Views: 1,233
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