DOSE:	1 hit	smoked	Products - Spice-Like Smoking Blends
			5F-AKB48

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

Allow me to preface this report by giving you a brief history of my drug misadventures.

My first drug experiences at the age of 17 were with the infamous JWH-018 blends that you could buy just about anywhere at the time (2010). That was the year I graduated high school and moved in with my decidedly cooler older sister and thus began my journey into mind exploration.

The smoke seshes with old JWH were intense, bordering on scary, but with big sis around, I never felt like I was in any danger. On the contrary, it was a lot of fun! Those steamy Florida nights alive with humming crickets and starry skies felt like magic. I can honestly admit that I enjoyed the blends over the real stuff, but that was before the scheduling passed.

Fast forward a few years. I have been a recreational marijuana user without any regularity, a couple of LSD trips, DXM, nothing too extreme. The synthetic stuff hadn't even crossed my mind really. A cousin of mine was a heavy incense user for a number of years while serving in the military and let's just say at least in part it kind of drove him insane.

I was interested in purchasing some 1P-LSD and found a reliable vendor online. I was about to click checkout but some other items caught my eye, one of which happened to be an herbal blend by the name 'Clockwork Orange.' I thought, 'what the hell?' And I rue the day.

The package arrived days later and with my bowl ready, I packed it about half full of the blend. It had this fuzzy, flaky texture similar to sage and a pungent citrus odor. As soon as I took the first hit, I knew I was in trouble. For starters, it had an awful, dry Lysol taste (ya, chemicals brah).

Almost immediately, I felt the buzz. I knew taking anymore would be a mistake so I climbed in bed and tried to relax with a movie. The vibe is something I can only describe as sinister. Paranoia becomes me, and I recall getting up for a moment to shut the blinds and being painfully aware of my shadow on the wall, as if at any moment, it would take on a life of its own. The bad vibe was further exasperated by being alone late at night.

My heart was racing uncomfortably and my thoughts sounded like a bad monologue, echoing in my headspace, and worst of all, I had little control over them. The thoughts were despairingly negative. I was reflecting on my life, how much I disappointed everyone around me. Everything seemed to spiral and as much as I tried to avoid it, I started to vividly contemplate my own death. “My parents are going to find my cold, lifeless body tomorrow and I’ll be another young cautionary tale on the 6 o’clock news.”

Every second felt like hours. I realized how detached I felt from my body. I would look down at my arms folded together on the bed and kept thinking how completely strange it was that they were there. They were not mine. It felt like l was looking through the eye holes of a mask of someone who was not me.

The penetrating fear of death or the unknown had prompted me into a state of vigilance, a sense that I MUST calm myself down some way or another. I began to think of God’s purpose. Admittedly I am not a religious person, but a lot of my anxiety stems from fear of Hell and the supernatural (thanks a million mom). With enough concentration, I would catch a glimpse of baseline, and gradually my fear began to turn into a thoughtful mellow and I could enjoy the movie that was playing.

Within the self-confrontation that came from the fear and negativity of the come-up, I remember hearing (or rather thinking) the words “Your fear is holding you back, it is your personal hell.” As my racing heart came to a comfortable trot, I had sunk into a wave of philosophical reasoning. I had strong visuals of how the great scheme of life is vaster and more incomprehensible than any religious hierarchy has ever taught us. Time is a great cog, and within are smaller gears ticking away. The universe is an equation on it’s quest to find balance. There is a solution to this puzzling existence that only God knows. Each and every one of us has a purpose and are exactly where we are supposed to be.

As each idea came to me, somewhere in my room at the exact moment my mind made a connection, I would hear a metallic ping somewhere in my room, noises that most would attribute to insects, the wind, a draft, faulty pipes or vents, noises inside the walls. Sounds that would frighten me as a child. And so many of these noises were pinging and clicking around my room. But I didn’t care, I felt no fear. I wondered if it were some kind of psychic energy; a positive one. I knew that I was safe and nothing could hurt me. It was a calm electric sensation.

I checked the time and only 30 minutes had gone by. Feeling dazed and numb, I sat up in bed and started throwing up. It oozed all over me, my mattress, and the carpet, but I was so fried I didn’t even care. I was filled with lead, covered in vomit and unable to make a move. I would have been content to lie there in my own drying puke, but with what felt like tremendous effort, I managed to half-ass a shower and cover my bed with clean sheets.

What I extracted most from this experience was that I must welcome the fear and face it head on. Nothing can hurt me if I don’t let it, and ignoring it or hiding from it will not let me reach my full potential. I must fight for positivity and balance. Would ever I try it again? Nope, nope, nope, nope. Would I recommend it? Nah. Just stick with the real deal. It’s not worth the quasi-panic-attack. What would I have done differently? Asked a buddy to hang while I was off in space. Also, ignore dem munchies. Eating only gave me nausea.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 108934
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Sep 1, 2016	Views: 4,816
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