DOSE: T+ 0:00	250 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT
T+ 3:00	1	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 7:00	1	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 7:00	500 ug	oral	Clonazolam

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
T+0:00 4-AcO-DMT Fumarate 250mg (+/- 1mg)
T+7:00 Alcohol (Beer) 1
T+7:00 Clonazolam 500mcg

Firstly, there will be and should be a warning in front of this. This dose was stupidly high, taken without a sitter, definitely measured correctly, and repeated twice more at different times later.

The idea here came about after listening to Terence McKenna talking about megadoses of P. Cubensis, combined with 4-AcO-DMT being far more tolerable on both my digestive system and brain. For whatever reason I can never smoke N,N-DMT fast enough to reach the elf-land that's mentioned often, something always pushes back, kicks me out, or otherwise fails with the smoking device itself. Eventually the extreme measure was decided upon. I'd been feeling very, very old, in terms of perceptual time, and felt that I'd possibly be ending my 'career' in psychedelic ingestion soon, and so should have something unique. Safety was weighed against this large a dose, and although it didn't go badly the thought process was probably incorrect.

Aside from this, I'd been experimenting with deep meditative states at the time and had found that I was able to maintain some type of inner peace that I'd always been too hyperactive to think possible; that of actually making my inner voice shut up and experiencing silence and calm. Without this, I doubt I'd have been able to maintain the general calm and rationality that I would not expect at this sort of dosage of anything. My only other high-dose tryptamine was 4-AcO-MET, which is a different animal.

To cut to the chase, sitting around in my apartment, without any real expectation other than that this would get ridiculous, a bit too much McKenna style expectation in my head, and that I could maintain the calm:

T+0:00 - Ingest 250mg of 4-AcO-DMT. Leave in mouth for a few minutes to allow for some sublingual absorption, then wash the rest down with some juice. Not risking the normal beer or two at this level.

T+0:15 - First hints of tryptamine effects, body buzz coming in waves and washing over already, OEVs starting up at rather high levels. I remember flower patterns and lots of interlocking geometry covering most of the plainer surfaces. Consider putting on music, but don't want it.

T+0:40 - Timeline is already fragmented, but I remember to check. As I look around the room, I begin seeing the bottom edges of what can only be described as a hypercube sort of hovering around my head. I look up. There's a weird n-dimensional cube of some sort above me, and inside of it is a 3D slice of a 4D vista.

Whatever form ego loss takes at this level happened so fast it might as well not have happened at all. First I was my Gnome self, then I was in other dimensions. There wasn't a transition, it just hit instantly. There was no time to worry or think about the implications either, which was probably a good thing for me.

The first vista is a bunch of fractaline branching spider entities. I think / tell them or the cube that they're interesting but I'd really like to talk to some different creatures as well. I glance down at the room, then back up. A new dimensional slice has appeared, this one populated by... something unknown. Creatures of some sort, but foreign to my thought process to the point of being indescribable except that I *knew* that they were alive. There was some sort of communication being attempted in both directions, but it wasn't really working. I tried talking to them, but no auditory response, only shifts in hue and colors.

I should point out at this time that I was entirely aware that to anyone observing me, and to my observer, I was sitting in a chair talking to the ceiling. This was calming.

I decided to try for another dimensional slice. No entities here, this one is just some weird set of impossible geometries rendered in perfect 3D projection out of their original 5D for my 4D brain (What else am I but a 4th dimensional creature only able to move in one direction?)

Look back down, back up, another slice. I can't describe all of these, because there was an information overload happening, for certain, and every dimension / geometry I viewed was so different and alien from the last that the words simply do not exist to describe them. I don't like writing that, because it sounds like a cop-out for a valid description, but it's how it worked. There was no describing this experience. I'd finally found something so foreign to me that I couldn't properly put most of it to words.

Back down, back up. Now I have some sort of insectoids, not spiders. These communicate. They are interested in me. They express some form of love, which I repeat back. I do love them. Whatever and wherever they were, they were as real as me and deserved no less. I had an indecipherable verbal and telepathic conversation with them, or mumbled at the ceiling, it seemed meaningful at the time. Still had the knowledge of how silly I must look talking to my ceiling, and was glad I was alone aside from whatever creatures I was meeting. Whatever I was knew that it was silly and might draw unwanted emotion / attention from an observer not on that plane, which would totally blow the wonderful hypercube thing.

I believe I spent around two hours in this state, I wasn't paying attention. Cycled through some little fuzzy animals of some sort, but many more dimensions that were devoid of life; it reminded me later of searching for life on other planets. It may exist nearly everywhere, but in what form? Will we recognize it? Were the other dimensions devoid? Still knew I was incredibly far gone. Thought process was far more coherent than expected. It was like I broke through the wall of 'tripping' in the traditional sense and ended up in some place where the things I was seeing were perfectly normal and life itself was just a different trip where I couldn't see what I was seeing. Thoughts obviously altered, but breaking through made them normal enough that functioning to some level became possible even if I was talking to thin air.

Decided at around T+3:00 maybe, that it would be good to get some air and have a cigarette outside. I went out and walked into yet another magical world. The grass itself was every color of the rainbow, but perfectly visible as grass. The life of every blade was made real. It moved with the rhythm of the air and the night and I was overwhelmed with beauty. I sat down and lit a cigarette. I placed my hand in the grass to feel it, for the first time. The life force was felt. The earth was felt. Slowly, overlays of variously colored neon strings began to rise from the ground and cover my arm and body.

As I finished smoking I looked down and saw overlaid on my body a being of pure spectral energy lines in multiple layers following an organic grid on skin and under my clothes. The beauty of this was unimaginable. I sat outside for maybe 10 more minutes basking in the knowledge that this was what I was and what there was, and if only everyone could see THIS moment for themselves and what the world looked like with the right vision there could be no war, there could be nothing but love and exploration of higher dimensions.

At the same time, I realized that nature itself has been, in some way, in an ongoing war with itself and amongst all creatures since the dawn of time. The line of thought that would allow this to create love amongst everyone also had the potential to destroy. I could not harm anything, or anyone. In a perfect society this is reasonable, in any place containing danger or one person wishing to harm, this state would destroy anyone in it. The knowledge came to me that we all hold within ourselves the ability to love perfectly and absolutely and to be a terrible weapon against anything. Take away the weapon and love prevails, but it cannot be done, and the experience cannot be forced. There was a great sadness in this realization.

I went back inside after maybe 20 minutes outdoors. The apartment was now boring. Visuals had reached the levels of a 'normal' large dose trip, with interlocking Escher-like patterns on surfaces, size and shape distorting to degrees I'd not seen before, and intricate 3D CEVs of tunnels and various blooms and fractal patterns. It seemed obvious that the peak was over, though. The rest of the trip was amazingly normal considering the dose. I doubt the human brain is meant to handle anything like that for as long as it did, and the drug was probably reaching some level of self-tolerance, although that's only speculation.

Describing the rest seems almost pointless to me after the magic of the peak, and the above best describes it. Patterning, distortion of size, etc. continued for another 2 hours or so, and although there was no way I was in any way down at that time, it felt like it. It reminded me of the comedown of DMT where in my case the entire room can look like a crayon drawing but it's so toned down from the peak that it seems perfectly normal, I felt sober, and I knew that this experience was over in most ways.

I finally allowed myself a beer at maybe T+7:00 and a small dose of clonazolam to induce sleep more quickly. As per usual for clonazolam, the sleep wasn't quite sleep, more of a 3-4 hour knockout, but I'd slept soundly the night before and the physical rest was enough.

To top off the general ridiculousness of the previous night, I showed up for work on time and worked a full day the next day. None of the residuals of high dose 4-AcO-MET were noted, and I didn't have any comprehension issues reading complex documentation, e-mails, etc.

Now, just because I cannot state this enough. The dosage involved here was pretty much idiotic. I didn't do my homework, only knew that this was far enough below LD50 to be about as safe as most prescription drugs, and it didn't seem to have any lasting effect on my cognitive skills or memory. There wasn't any noticeable body load, but it may have just been impossible to notice because of the dosage.

Aside from the dosage being stupid, this shouldn't have been attempted without a sitter, but past experience told me that sitters often throw me into a terrible state of mind as my ego struggles to want to communicate with someone as 'me' while my brain wants to be in some weird extradimensional state of one. The two aren't compatible, and they create internal conflict unless such an absolute level of trust exists that there can be no conflict. More than one other person does this every other time as my brain cannot adjust. Haven't worked that out yet, maybe will eventually, but that's how it goes. The point, anyway, is that with nobody there to regulate reality, and the level of distance I was from anything resembling normality, this night could have just as easily ended in a hospital visit or worse. It didn't, and it was beautiful, but that's what I call pure luck rather than anything that could have been predicted from previous experience.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 109281
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Oct 16, 2016	Views: 9,737
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4-AcO-DMT (387) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)