DOSE: T+ 0:00	repeated	vaporized	Cannabis
T+ 0:00	6.25 mg	oral	Hydroxyzine	(pill / tablet)
T+ 3:00	6.25 mg	oral	Hydroxyzine	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

154 lb

I have a feeling there are a bunch of people out there going through what I've been going through without realizing it.

I am 37 years old and have recently been diagnosed with autism, post traumatic stress disorder and social anxiety disorder. My autism was confirmed and reconfirmed by two psychologists in rapid order, so to all those out there wondering if it is possible for a 37 year old seemingly 'normal' (I hate this word) person who has few problems speaking but more problems writing 'weird' (this word is pure bigotry) even though they were working on a Masters in Rhetoric and Composition when they had a complete and total breakdown, the answer is yes.

I've studied psychedelics quite a bit, but I am no organic chemist, let alone a neuropharmacologist. So take it all with a grain of salt!

Throughout my life I have always had problems with histamine. I've had tubes in my ears, dairy allergies, contact dermatitis, hay fever, sinusitis, bronchitis, gout etc... Some of these problems were naturally occurring, and some were certainly earned through drinking and smoking and pizza (gout, I'm looking at you). I am the very definition of a 'snot nosed kid.'

Oddly enough, I have found the psychedelic 2C-D to work quite well as an antihistamine, and there are ways in which hydroxyzine tastes and behaves similarly in my opinion, but that is neither here nor there. I just figured I'd mention it.

As for autism, I've always been autistic, it's just that my parents and the educational nightmare here in America missed it because I'm too high functioning, so it's been up to me to figure out that I'm the crazy one, which is about as much fun as it sounds. Thankfully, I recently moved from Idaho to Oregon (thank the fuck Christ). For the last year I've been using home grown cannabis to control my symptoms while waiting on a variety of mental health providers and the Oregon Health Plan to catch up. I find that high dose cannabis capsules do the job nicely.

That being said, I had taken a high dose cannabis capsule the night before trying hydroxyzine, and I had been smoking and vaping cannabis all morning before visiting my Nurse Practitioner.

I have long suspected there is some connection between my autism and my allergies, though now I'm wondering if the connection is actually between the post traumatic stress and the allergies. One way or the other, I've always had some inkling that the condition of my sinuses and the conditions in my head were somehow connected. I had also done enough research into commonly prescribed medications for my diagnoses that I was ready to help her eliminate anti-psychotics, SSRIs, amphetamines, Buspar, Clonidine, most benzodiazapines and Lithium from the list. Basically, before I walked into that place, I knew the only two drugs I was interested in trying were Ativan and Hydroxyzine.

When I woke up that morning, I used three cotton hankies because the weather changing was making my sinuses go crazy and I was fairly worked up in the brain department. After seeing the Nurse Practitioner, I was fairly anxious to try the new prescription for hydroxyzine, but I contained myself and stopped by a dispensary on the way home for a pre-roll of Faceoff OG. I was also waiting for a [vaporizer] to arrive in the mail, and I didn't want to knock myself out before it arrived, so I spent a good deal of time reading about interactions between cannabis and hydroxyzine before walking down to Fred Meyers to pick up the pills.

By the time I had the pills in my hand, I was feeling pretty darned confident that cannabis and hydroxyzine should be perfectly safe together, but I was surprised at how many people had described being completely incapacitated by even smallish doses of it. My mom has a scrip for it from a dermatologist, and she has been taking 200mg 2x daily, so apparently the stuff has a wide range of applications and a really unusual dose response curve. Being a well practiced psychonaut, I decided to try low-balling my first dose to see if it would show effect at sub-clinical doses.

Well, guess what? After cutting one (1) 25 mg hydroxyzine tablet into four quarters and ingesting the smallest available part, the following occured:

T +2m: My sinuses opened completely.

T +5m: A leaden sensation began building in my arms and a euphoria separate from the cannabis oil began presenting itself.

T +10m: The teeth of my upper palate went completely numb, similar to alcohol.

T +15m: The euphoria and intoxication became pronounced, my eyes started going all funny and a slight 'headache' presented itself.

T +20-25m: Walking got interesting, things were a little too 'blurry' to read my phone comfortably, but not enough to actually blur vision, concentration was difficult and the euphoria and headache were matched in intensity. Perhaps a pang of nausea? I was pretty fucked up at this point, and starting to wonder if I was going to go to sleep soon.

T +37ish: The euphoria takes flight and the confusion and blurriness begin to give way. I begin to feel fucking incredible, physically, psychologically! I decide to take a second shower just to see how water feels. Feels pretty damned good, and I find myself laughing at nothing in the shower.

T +1hr: Feeling amazing! Clearheaded without dizziness, but empty headed. I am no longer under the whims of the continuous stream of thought that characterizes my autism. My nose is clear and I can smell all sorts of formerly absent scents, the same way that 2c-d and other psychedelics can enhance the sense of smell too. The stuff is doing exactly what I need it too, and I am on one quarter of the prescribed dosage. I return to Fred Meyers to shop for dinner and test out the social anxiety component. It didn't completely alleviate all socially driven thoughts and behaviors, but it dampened them considerably. It was like having the same thoughts underwater, where they have to swim against the current before they arrive. And they don't have the same impact or meaning when they finally get there. It was unusual, but not at all unpleasant.

T +3hr: Since the drug had reached its 'half way point' according to the pharmacist, I decided to take another half tablet just to see what would happen. It was about 6 pm when I took it, and I usually stay up until around midnight.

T +3:15: Becoming leaden again. Sinking into the sofa and enjoying The Simpsons 600th episode marathon.

T +3:45: Seems to be setting in slower than before. At this point, I didn't expect that anything much more was going to happen.

T +4:15: Boy was I wrong. All of a sudden it set in, and it became nearly impossible to keep my eyes open. There were distinct closed eye visuals, namely thin red and blue concentric circles spinning rapidly in a clockwise fashion. While the visuals were not particularly vivid or impressive, they neatly described the sense of motion revolving in my skull. I'm not sure how long I sat there for, but my guess is I went to bed around 7:30 or 8pm.

T +5-15hr: I slept for approximately 10 hours during which I had continuous vivid and semi lucid dreams. The vast majority of the content was highly personal and vaguely threatening, though enjoyable in a challenging sort of way. When I take cannabis capsules to sleep it's usually dreamless, and I really haven't had vivid dreams in any regular sense since elementary school. I'm wondering now if the histamine was censoring trauma dreams, which there seems to be a bit of peer reviewed literature out there about. But who knows really.

All I know is, when I woke up at 6 am this morning, I was super drowsy and my nose wasn't running at all. Instead of using up three hankies, I only needed to blow my nose 2 or 3 times. Today I've been in a good mood, have been cleaning compulsively, have been responding normally to pot and totally just wrote this long ass trip report without endlessly distracting myself with my phone or the tv. It is now T +23 hours and I'm basically still on the stuff. While I realize that the drug has been metabolized, I am certain I am still feeling 'after effects' that are nearly identical in strength and description to the primary effects.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109628
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Dec 9, 2016	Views: 16,435
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Hydroxyzine (570) : Combinations (3), Health Benefits (32), Medical Use (47), Alone (16)