DOSE:

repeated

oral

Clonazolam

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

Multiple Seizures Near Death

By the age of twenty I was an experienced drug user, specializing in benzo use. People in the past noticed my high affinity for pills. Naturally, when my friend at the time who was a neuroscience major told me he got a pill that works STRONG for 8 to 12 hours I was interested. I tried five pills and then a few months later we made a plan to order bottles online from the same research company he used. I got 9 bottles and he got 1. I assured him and my boyfriend I would not use them often and it was a relief to my boyfriend who would not have to pick up Xanax anymore from a sketchy dealer.

I began dosing with a quarter of a pill. Within weeks it was a full pill. And before 3 months it was 3 or 4 x .75 pills a day. To give you an understanding of how insane this is, let me put this into perspective. My friend used to do heroin. I gave him one of the pills and he said he was straight but he almost died from half a dose because he was on methadone. I had to literally hold his head for 10 hours and thought he was slipping away. my other friend took a quarter pill on a separate instance and was blacked out in NYC, after 2 hours we went home. finally, just to show you the strength of these pills my boyfriend who is 6 foot 5 takes half a pill and is out for 12 hours within 30 minutes.

My point is that I had a serious problem. I remember drinking a full bottle of wine after taking at least 3 pills. At a concert I took 8 pills and smoked weed a quarter a day.

I had my first seizure in the summer when I finally noticed I went through 8 bottles in only a few months. 
It happened in the middle of the day, I decided not to take as much that day and I took only a half pill. While watching tv with my boyfriend, apparently I stood up started mumbling, peed on myself, then fell and began convulsing. I awoke in the hospital to find I had a grand mal seizure.

When I got out of the hospital, I began using shortly after again. I was so addicted I was not registering the fact I almost died. But now my boyfriend noticed how many pills were gone. I finally surrendered and stopped lying to myself and went to a rehab. I had 3 seizures while withdrawaling. Normally people are put in detox for a week. But I was in detox with a taper for 2.5 weeks.

I used to be addicted to mda, mdpv, mdma and used them every day for years almost. I used to use opiates as a teen and I can honestly say the withdrawals from clonazolam were 10 times worse than any pain I've ever felt. I was close to death and needed an IV, I did not eat for 9 days. I was terrified. The neurologist at the hospital told me I was lucky to be alive and that I essentially destroyed my central nervous system. I lost my job, friends, the respect of my boyfriend.

My friend who studies neuroscience had a seizure before we ordered more pills, at the time I thought it was from all the cocaine he did but now I would say it is from clonazolam if I had to guess.

These pills are so addictive that 6 months of being clean I still crave them. I have vivid drug dreams and I think about these pills every day of my life. Of course I set myself up for failure by ordering so many, but you can trick yourself to thinking something is a good idea, especially when it's a drug. Similar to opiates, I not only lied to my loved ones, I lied to myself without any awareness of the effect on my health. But the scariest thing that I never felt on opiates or any other drug, was when I eventually knew these pills were killing me, that I would have another grand mal, lose everything, I did not care if I died... I ignored my most basic human nature and needs. I did not know I went through 8 bottles because my brain did not want me to let anything in the way of my heavy drug use.

I feel seriously afraid for anyone using this pill in powdered form as the dose needs to be super tiny. Like multiple doctors who saw me and my chart it was a miracle I was alive and never alone when I had a seizure. I should not be here now, but since I am I will spend my life spreading the danger of this research chemical to whoever I can.

[Reported Dose: '4 to 10 x 0.75 pills daily']

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109778
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jan 11, 2017	Views: 6,802
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Clonazolam (686) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Overdose (29), Post Trip Problems (8), Addiction & Habituation (10), Unknown Context (20)