DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA
T+ 0:35	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

76 kg

I guess I better give some background on myself first, I am a quite healthy person who would exercise 4 times a week, watch what I eat and would typically be quite conscious about what I eat or what I put in my body. With that being said I am not against drugs, provided they're not used excessively or in a destructive way or being used for the wrong reasons.

I have taken the pretty light stuff in terms of substances, I would smoke weed whenever it's offered, but what I mainly take every weekend when I feel it is hash brownies. So E's were my first step into something harder than weed and hash. However I'm always looking for something that could potentially give me another view on the world or unlock some reality about myself that I never realised. Basically use something I learned during a drug experience to improve or better my everyday life, and not take them just for the sake of getting fucked up.

So a week or so ago my friend asked if I was willing to come over his house for a drink with his girlfriend and others. My friend is a big E head and is open about it provided he's in the right company. He doesn't just blurt it out to anyone though. He's told me stories about his experiences many times, what it's like, his thought process, feelings both physical and mental etc etc. So when I agreed for a drink I knew straight away what his next question was going to be. 'If we all take pills, would you take one?'. I knew without a doubt that I would try it... under the right circumstances.

To me, taking something like that when you're at a club or party isn't that appealing. So being in a close friend's house with a few others would be the ideal situation for me. It's more personal and there's more shit's and giggles. I'm typically a shy person at first around new people, I tend to just sit back and let others do the talking so I can get a feel for how they are before I proceed. So this would be my preferred way to take a new substance.

So after I said yeah sure, I began my research. I wanted to know everything I could before I took it. I raided as much information of E's from the internet as I could. I wanted to know side effects, the dos and don'ts, experiences. The works. So after reading as much as I could before the day came, I removed every expectation I built up over the week to give my mind a completely clean slate.

During the morning I went to the gym as usual and when I came home I had the same breakfast I usually have, with some multi vitamins and berries. I tried not to think about the night that was ahead of me in case I began to over think, worry or just blatantly pussy out. A usual Saturday for me at that point, walk the dog, watch some shows, play guitar. A few hours before my friend was picking me up I decided to just chill out as much as possible, listen to music I haven't heard in years, just feel really good and relaxed. He came and picked me up, we went back to his and did what we planned, drank a few, I got to know his girlfriend more, had some laughs, played card games.

They both had new neighbours recently and were good friends with them already, so they messaged them and asked for them to come round. Quick plan change, they have company and want us to come around to them. Shit. New people.

We went next door and I got to know the neighbours, they were actually super cool and had a nice vibe about them that I got from them as soon as I was in their company. After an hour or two, my friend was getting impatient with their guest as she said she had no intention of taking anything with us and gave the impression she didn't want to leave. So my mate made an excuse that he had to let his dog out for a pee. We weren't back at his house for more than 2 mins before he gave me my first half.

Here we go. 12:10am. Down the hatch, no bother. His girlfriend came back and told us the neighbours' guest will be leaving in 5 mins. Sure enough the neighbours come around 5 mins later and we all dose up. We were told by one of the neighbours that the pills weren't that strong (for their standards) but that should be a great bonus for me. We all chat for a bit and after 30-40 mins, I decide to take the next half with the rest of them.

Another 30 mins past and I feel quite different, I never really noticed the feeling until I was asked how I felt. I was so focused on the conversations going on around me, I forgot to take note of where my head was at. I realised I was smiling. A lot. A real cheesy grin stretched across my face and as I picked up on my emotions, I was overwhelmed with this great wave of relaxed openness. It was very different from the feeling weed gives me, that was for sure. I told them I felt great and they were happy, the neighbours were updated on it being my first E. They gave congratulations and said 'You couldn't be in better company'. And that was the understatement of the night. As she said that I felt so grateful and appreciative of who I'm surrounded by. My friend who I see on a near daily basis who I am always grateful for, and his girlfriend and their neighbours whom I have never seen before, let alone know well enough to feel this connected to them. Yet I was.

Most of them left for a smoke, it was just me and one of the neighbours, the girl who made the comment on good company. She sat beside me and asked me how I was feeling and seemed curious as to how my first experience was going. The conversation between us just flowed so smoothly I don't even remember what was said, but it felt like the most honest and open conversation I had ever had with another human being. There was no filter, no worry about what I might say wrong or be too honest, I just spoke my heart. It was so lovely. When the rest came back we migrated to the living room to all sit and bond a bit more. Everyone had more while I felt that I was content on riding this one out, I felt like I kept coming up and coming up, every moment that passed I felt more peaceful and more accepting of myself than the last. My friend lay across his sofa with his feet over my legs, I honestly had no objections. I sat straight observing the room and feeling so comfy and cosy in their home.

I observed everyone's body language and faces, the two girls seemed very relaxed, silly love fool expressions on them, while the other guy was a bit twitchy anyways but he seemed the same as ever. My friend was the most drastic change. He was pulling all of the faces stereotypically associated with E's, jaw swinging, eyes, widening, licking lips like a serial killer. The lot. I couldn't stop laughing at it. We all talked more, had laughs, had stories, and really connected.

Again my friend asked how I was handling. I still felt extreme euphoria, My smile only seemed to increase, I didn't want to stop. I felt so happy to just be. The rest of the company all said they are amazed that I'm taking it really well and not freaking out or 'pulling sofas with my jaw'. I felt extremely proud of that. As well as extremely grateful of their comments. At one moment I look behind myself to see if I have water handy, my head moves, but my vision is delayed by a good second. uh oh. That's not good. My body begins to heat up immensely. I am covered in a thin slick layer of sweat that is extremely uncomfortable. For some reason I decide to look at the first object I see. 'That is a lamp, it is made of ceramic, glass, metal and fabric. It is powered by electricity and produces light when the switch is turned on. It is silver and white and is sitting on a table.' I needed to ground myself and stop thinking about my dizzy feeling. Sure enough after 30 seconds I come back and cool down. Crisis averted.

The night goes on the same for another few hours and before I know it, it's 9am. The neighbours say goodbyes and give graces, and head back to their beds. Likewise after I went to the bathroom, my friend and his girlfriend are looking to go to bed. Whether they could sleep or not is another matter. So I hit the road. I only live a 5 min walk from their house anyways and on a Sunday morning they're won't be any danger. Next thing I know I'm in bed trying to sleep myself.

My eyes shoot open and it's 11:30am. I'm wide awake at this point and can't go back to sleep. Well time to start the new day off I guess. I had food, which was slightly difficult to do with an extremely dry mouth and little desire to eat. But I knew that I needed food so I forced myself to eat it and drink water. The following 12 after this weren't as bad as others have. I was a bit lightheaded at times and felt really tired after a couple of hours. I didn't sweat and didn't really have that much of a really bad comedown. It was quite smooth.

I still felt very at peace with myself and felt like I was truly in the present from then on and even until now which is almost 3 days later I feel like I am less with my anxious thoughts and trying to be more occupied in my present. It was an experience of joy and connection that I don't think I will ever forget with people I will try to always remember for as long as I can.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110033
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Oct 12, 2022	Views: 857
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