DOSE:

smoked

DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

127 lb

I Will Never Take DMT Again or Anything Else

M and I were flatmates. We worked together, went to school together, partied together, and tried different drugs together. DMT is very hard to find in the country we live in. But as luck would have it, during a tip to Holland we met up with a friend of M’s (let’s call him T) who gifted us a good amount of DMT and even offered to take us through our first trip.

It was a chilly and rainy evening in the beautiful countryside when we set up inside our tent. T measured out the dose and separated the rest while showing us a proper dosage for when we got back home. Our tent was open, facing the trees and tall wheat. Immediately after inhaling I was transported to Africa; it was warm and bright while the cicadas sang and monkeys played in the trees. I had taken a very small dose just to try it out and had not crossed the threshold, but I had such a feeling of happiness that I thought my full dose will be this feeling x1000.

Both M and I decided to take a full dose after we got back home a week later. Unfortunately this went horribly wrong. DMT is the reason I no longer do any kind of drug.

M and I live on the top floor in the center of downtown, next to a bus stop, tram stop, hospital, multiple bars and shops. It’s very noisy and hectic no matter the time… probably not the best environment for a relaxing experience. We got our pipe ready and decided that I would go first. Moments after I inhaled the smoke, the world stopped to exist- the room was gone, M was gone, I could not speak or move or hear anything, I no longer had a body. Existence as I knew it had become nothing but bright, colorful, multifaceted, geometric shapes that continuously turned and changed at dizzying speeds (think of a kaleidoscope that is quickly making you insane). I can’t deny it was beautiful but at the time I felt that I had been stuck there for hours or maybe days and that I would be doomed to live in this dimension forever. I began to panic and thought that I had gone mad because of the DMT and now had become a burden to everyone in my life.

Imagine throwing yourself into an all-encompassing and powerful river that tosses you around in the churning current. No matter what you do, you can’t make it stop and the only thought you can string together is “someone help me”. I tried to calm my thoughts by repeating in my head that I wanted to do this. At that moment, it appeared in the corner of the “room”.

The geometric shapes had slowed and I peered into the corner to find a tall humanoid figure that was also composed of geometric shapes but these shapes were only in muddy/dirty dark tones of red, white, brown, black- the colors of clotted blood and exposed flesh. Its shapes changed and moved but every time they shifted it became more menacing and I realized it wasn’t just humanoid but some sort of armored knight that even without a face continued to stare at me.

It began to speak telepathically. “Why are you so upset? Didn’t you ask for this? I cannot do anything you do not want me to do. I will give you whatever you wish for no matter how destructive and terrible. I am curious why you resent me now. You get everything you want and every consequence you deserve. What a pretty little fool you are for forgetting this simple truth.” It continued to lay down “the truth” in a cold matter of fact way until I began to question my entire life and the choices I had made. It was the worst experience I have had taking a drug and the only negative one I have ever had

Luckily, the DMT started to wear off and I could move my head again. M suddenly reappeared as a hindu goddess, bathed in a golden yellow and green light emitting warmth and kindness. My hearing was starting to return. M had been calling my name the entire time, she was bringing me back but I still couldn’t speak. When the DMT finally released its hold on me, I let out a sigh and fell backwards onto the couch. M told me that I had become a statue and she had become worried when nothing could take me out of the trance.

I lucid dreamed for the following week about it and how I had recently been thinking of getting more serious with my life and how that had affected my experience. Most of it was a terrible and terrifying but ultimately led to an epiphany. I no longer wanted to do drugs, I wanted to be more serious with work, more caring toward loved ones, make proper choices.

I shudder when I think back on my DMT experience; I will never take it or any drug again (has been over a year since I’ve done anything). That being said, I also have to admit it forced me to deal with thoughts and feelings that I didn’t know were so important to me.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 110798
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Jul 26, 2017	Views: 2,032
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DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5)