DOSE: T+ 0:00		oral	Coffee	(liquid)
T+ 0:00	1 mg	oral	Pharms - Buprenorphine
T+ 2:30	repeated	IV	Heroin	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

It was March, and I was battling with a heroin addiction that I was trying to overcome with therapy classes and suboxone - Unfortunately, Clonazolam didn't help. Prior to this experience I had done most drugs under the sun, with the exception of some shitty/obscure RC's, Mescaline, and PCP. I was unemployed and had a tax return, a beat up old sedan, and too much time on my hands.

I also happened to have some 1mg Clonazolam presses that I had recently acquired online. Having done it quite a bit prior to this particular day, I knew .5mg was a lot, and .25mg was plenty. I bit off a third of the pill and put it under my tongue, it's chalky and there's no taste. This occurs at about 11am, after my morning coffee. I had taken my prescribed Suboxone (1mg) an hour prior and I was starting to feel relatively warm and functional.

I sit around a bit and watch videos on my phone, doing a whole lot of nothing... I feel some tingling sensation in the back of my head, very minor but once the 'buzz' hits moments later I recognize it to be the start of the clonazolam peak. It's now about 11:30, and I am starting to feel carefree and a benzo-rush of sorts.

I pace around in my room, trying to find an excuse NOT to go to the city, as my mind (under the clonazolam) is telling me to go score dope. Well that goes on for about 5 minutes and I lose the battle with myself as I start my rusted-out car and speed off to the city. I had done something similar only two days prior but I didn't care that I was burning the candle at both ends.

I call my guy up, who's probably the worst dealer in the world in terms of professionalism, and he tells me I can come through, but that he's in the city and not at his home just outside the city. I didn't even worry of the increased L.E. Risk at the time, the clonazolam had me floating and the thought of dope had me eager with anticipation.

After 15 minutes of driving around the city in confusion because of the dealers shitty directions I finally meet the guy at a Dollar General parking lot. I buy what I came for and meet his odd father who offers me to go smoke freebase with them in his place (which I dodge).

I get back to my car and open my clenched fist, I'm looking down at 7 wax bags, $60 worth of dope, which probably ended up weighing less than a quarter gram, but would give me 7 decent rushes or 2-3 great ones.

** Fun Fact: Weight is basically irrelevant when dealing with street dope, I could have a gram of dope that gets me as high as 100mg of another guys dope... This is no exaggeration and so I always aim for the person who is vetted by other addicts and has a higher potency even if it weighs less/costs more. I don't want that cut (whatever it may be) in my body. Also if other long-term addicts use a certain dealer it is likely they can tell me whether or not it's 'fetty' (fent-cut) or straight. This is not foolproof but it's as close to it as I'll get.**

I pick up a water bottle at the gas station, pop the cap off, open up my dashboard and grab a fresh rig and a cue-tip - It's roughly 12:30 at this point and I'm still very much feeling the suboxone but I happen to know that Naloxone's (component of suboxone) opiate-blocking capabilities are negligible at .25mg, and I would get high regardless.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
Without going into the trigger-heavy prep details, I manage to hit and shoot three bags. Within 30 seconds I feel the dope hit me hard, and I lay my head back feeling great but immediately realizing I've fucked up... I quickly cap the rig and clean up the gear. I start driving home - completely out of my gourd like an idiot.

On the way home my eyes get so heavy that I end up micro-nodding in half-second bursts and seriously scaring myself during each. I punch myself in the chest a few times and smack my face to try and keep myself awake enough to get home. The respiratory depression is very strong at this point, and while I know at this point I'm not at risk to overdose, I am certainly still at risk to pass out behind the wheel.

Luckily, after a few more frights I end up making it home. Ashamed, I get out of the car and return to my room, no greater for my efforts than I had been prior to my excursion. It was about 1:30, and the rush was long-gone but I was still smacked out and feeling the clonazolam (post-peak). I take stock of what I'd done, blew $60 of my already extremely limited budget, relapsed, and had 4 bags of heroin, an empty gas tank, and bloodshot eyes to show for it. I play some video games and then drift off to sleep around 11pm after shooting the remaining bags.

It's been only 6 months since I've done this, and I am doing much better sobriety-wise. I am off the suboxone and am several months clean of the dope. I smoke pot only when it's around, preferring to save my hard-earned money for proper food and a down-payment on a new car soon.

Oddly, benzos seem to have stuck around, though I now have greater control over them. They may be the last to go, but they too will depart from my repertoire soon, leaving only myself responsible for how I feel, which is something that I haven't had in a long time!

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110912
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Mar 24, 2020	Views: 2,628
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Clonazolam (686), Pharms - Buprenorphine (265), Heroin (27) : Combinations (3), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)