DOSE:		oral	Pharms - Pregabalin
			Heroin	(daily)
			Various

BODY WEIGHT:

183 lb

Letīs start at the beginning. Iīm 31 years old and from Germany (please excuse the mistakes). Drugs are a sometimes nasty thing for my body. I have experience with all common drugs and some RCs. At first I have been an advocant of psychedelics (especially Ketamine and LSD). But after some too frequent uses of MDMA, MDA and other kinds I had developed a psychosis.

Never went to a doctor with this. Kept it from nearly everyone. I got seizures when everything was dark and quiet. It felt at first like a electric shock. I tried always to fight this feeling except one time which led me completely paralyzed for around 10 sec. where I had hallucinations and heard a extreme loud white-noise-ish sound with frequent voices and...pain). Never had it again this extreme. The symptoms (insomnia - because of the 'shocks', the most realistic nightmares ever when sleeping, disorientation, hallucinations, 'optics', headaches, extreme depression - the first in my life where I really hated myself and the world) went better after around 6 weeks. I had to stop my Cannabis-habit because it made it worse. The 'shocks' stopped for the most part around 2 years later.

But... I found my ultimate medicine: Opiates.

I went quickly into total addiction. In 4 months I went from around 10mg Oxycodone to 160mg Oxycodone (per 'serving' - daily dose was higher). First Withdrawal was after 8 months. I thought that it wasnīt as bad as the hell I went through the 6 weeks after the MDMA-overdose. I greatly decreased my daily dose for the withdrawal. Still I would say it was one of the strongest withdrawals I had.

Well and I had many of that.

In Germany you can go into the Methadone-Program. But I never wanted that because I never wanted to be associated as a junky. I only once touched a needle but wasnīt able to find a vein. Iīm happy I didnīt. Heroin and Methadone (black market) followed soon. Around two years later I had tried every Opiate and Benzodiazepine which was available. I tried around 80 different drugs in a time period of around 4-6 years only.

Iīm not a dumb nut (wordplay from Germany ;) ). Always was one of the best in school. Had a really good job years later. Kicked off the addiction. But every 2-3 months I ordered Tramadol. I really could live with that type of usage.
Met my girlfriend. She never used drugs. That changed two years later.

I met an old (drug-related) friend. He had a similar 'lifestyle' I had. Also recovered from drug-usage...we shaked hands.

It went from good life to drugged life in a matter of weeks. Quickly we did LSD, Ketamine, MDMA, Speed, N2O, Cannabis every fu**ng weekend. Things at my jobs went worse (not drug-related) and I was completely stressed out. Didnīt get enough sleep and had many extra hours. The friendship went apart in a dispute.

My mind couldnīt stand it anymore. While on the way to the job I stopped and cried for 2 hours and went back home. Lost my track completely. Lost the job...lost the friendship. He (the friend) said to me that I would be dead in 5 years because I had severe problems with my body (drank a bottle of wine everyday - or more) and didnīt go to the doctor. That friend killed himself at around 5 years later...nearly exactly the day he said that to me...canīt forget this.

Now.... Still a drug-addict. Since around 4 years Iīm on Heroin (since 2 years daily). No Needles!
But I made sure that my body wouldnīt let me down. Started strength-training which I still do to this day. Lost around 75 pounds in 8 months (I was 250 pounds before). Love working out!

My girlfriend is exactly as addicted as I am. We had so many withdrawals because we did not have enough money anymore. They were always bad and we wanted to quit the heroin at each withdrawal.
Never went off.

Then we found lyrica (Pregabalin, 150 - 2100mg). Initial dosage was 600mg for both of us. It blew us both completely away! I had been offered lyrica so often before and always declined. It was nearly the most enjoyable drug I could think of! We both had nearly the same symptoms:

- extreme pleasurable bodyload (sex or working out is amazing)
- comfortable numbness (Pink Floyd helps if you donīt find the right words ;) )
- activation
- very good sleep
- closed eye visuals and also open eye visuals
- very strong inner sights (to me like an empathogen -> MDMA - we both thought and talked about a very depressing time period and cried both...but it was healing)
- strong euphoria

To categorize the feeling: It is for me a direct crossover of Opiates, Benzos and a bit of Psychedelics/Empathogens. We loved it and loved it more after we found out that it helped really good with withdrawals. But still...the heroin-addiction is stronger.

I write this while on around 1500mg Pregabalin and having a heroin-withdrawal. The problem with Pregabalin:

The 'Rush' (it sometimes IS a rush for me. Love to dance on this....love to do everything on it - kills my depressions completely) is so pleasurable that we always seek this. The tolerance develops quickly.

Even after 2 weeks or longer without Pregabalin we donīt get the feeling anymore from the initial 600mg (which for me was really strong!).

Is it addicting? Yes! But not in way of Opiates. I see the addicting potential more in way of a Benzodiazepine which to me never were a problem. Well... 2 months before this I had a 2 day total blackout (only had it once for around 8 hours after a psychedelic and frequent dosages of around 1,5ml GBL, 1-2 Flunitrazepams, 200mg tramadol before all that, alcohol and cannabis). My girlfriend told me that I took 18 x 6mg Bromazepam, Lyrica and Alcohol and was really aggressive and not 'myself'. Had so many bruises all over my body. On the third day I regained memory and fell badly (or dumb) into a box and had real problems to get now. I was shocked when my girlfriend told me what I did because they were all things I never do. Since she was working in that time, I have a real shame because I hope I didnīt knock on someone's door or whatever. Back to Pregabalin:

It is a cure for me. I was able to get inside some of my problems with it. I am able to function completely while on a withdrawal. It kills nearly all negative symptoms and only a slightly dripping nose stays. I combined Pregabalin with some drugs and had little to no problems.

Cannabis: enhances the bodyload and CEVs/OEVs - good combination.
Alcohol: I canīt recommend it safely -- it enhances both and also the negative sides of the alcohol - I went out after some beer and my girlfriend couldnīt wake me for half an hour.
Heroin: At first it enhanced the heroin but my tolerance for heroin went though the roof.
Cocaine: I donīt think it is safely but....pure fun!

Withdrawals without medication:

Another good cure for withdrawals are cold showers. I know this is exactly the contrary from everything else. I do it since some months and love it. Since two years I walk only barefoot. Doesnīt matter if it is winter and snowing. This also helps and strengthens my body to fight against cold. For me this is the worst...the cold. Withdrawals are a eternal winter for me.

Thanks for reading.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 111073
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Oct 12, 2017	Views: 5,731
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Pharms - Pregabalin (418) : Combinations (3), Retrospective / Summary (11), Depression (15), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)