DOSE: T+ 0:00	150 mg	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 2:00	150 mg	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

71 kg

In early November, I went with 8 friends to a music festival in a different city. The lineup for the festival was insane - it had dozens of really good trance (which I didn't particularly like at the time) DJs as well as popular Deep House DJs. Having experimented with LSD before, I had been very interested in trying MDMA, which several other friends of mine had told me was an unreal experience. My friends, who had mostly only tried weed before, told me that they were down to roll at the festival, and even better, one of them could get some high-quality MDMA from their dealer.

On the day of the festival we arrived at my friend's house and before leaving our dealer cancelled on us, leading us to get all depressed. Although we knew the risk that we were going to take, we decided that as we had looked forward to this for so long, we would try and get some MDMA in the festival. We have already bought some reliable, tested molly for our next roll.

We got to the festival at about 8PM, and given that it ended at 10AM, we had about 14 hours to rave. We were all in amazing spirits (despite not yet getting molly) and decided to get into the vibe and start dancing before we did so. We were getting lost in the music and in our own company without the MDMA, creating an amazing setting that would make our roll fantastic.

At about 11PM, me and 4 others detached from the other 4 to try and find some molly. We initially were only able to find 2 'questionable' pills to say the least (the dealer didn't seem very convinced that they were anything, and they seemed too small to be molly) and 2 of my friends decided to take it. I don't think it had any effect on them, as we met another dealer around 20 minutes later and the effects started to hit 1 hour after this original dose. Therefore, we concluded that they bought 'fake molly'. Anyway, we found a dealer whose product seemed more reliable. He told us that the dosage was 150mg and we bought 9 pills, one for each of us that was there. We met up with our other friends and swallowed our pills.

About 30 minutes later, we realized that it had started to hit. I had done significant amounts of research (together with my friend B - we were sort of taking responsibility for everyone, as we'd done the most research and knew what to expect) but nothing could describe that feeling of pure happiness that overcame me. I know, I know, it sounds stereotypical, but I couldn't stop hugging my friends, SCREAMING at them how much I fucking loved them while the DJs (in the deep house stage) dropped some absolute bangers. We were going mental, feeling an intense amount of love for each other that none of us had ever experienced before. I've never been an amazing dancer (average, I guess) but my body was swaying to every single beat coming out of the speakers.

The buildup to the drops began to feel like pure ecstasy, and when the bass started hitting I felt it inside me. I couldn't stop thinking of how much I loved my friends while this was taking place, holding their heads with my hands and kissing them. They would laugh and kiss and hug me back and I had never felt so at peace, so in love with a group of people and in such a part of a 'crew' so to speak. I'd always had troubles finding a close set of friends as I'd moved around 4 times before I was 18, so I kept having to adjust and make new ones. But at this moment, I had never felt more love for anybody in the whole world.

We stayed in the same place dancing to the music for about half an hour, I remember after the DJ that was playing stopped the music quieted down for a bit. The crowd (which seemed totally united and as one) roared so loud and my friend B turned around and looked at me in the eyes, grinning from ear to ear. I held his head and touched it with mine as we hugged. I told him - 'This is the best night of my life.' and he replied 'I know bro. I know. And it's only midnight.' As it dawned on me that we had 10 more hours of this, I felt like my happiness was unlimited (sorry if I keep repeating this).

The next DJ to come up was one that we'd been looking forward to the most - Oliver Heldens. I am a HUGE fan of his music, and for me, he is probably my favourite DJ out there. So to see him live, in that state of pure, unimaginable amounts of joy, was crazy for me. His music started playing and I began to shuffle like I'd never danced before, together with my friends B, T and M. I just couldn't stop dancing, I had never felt more liberated and open in my whole life. Some strangers got impressed by our shuffling and decided to make a circle around us, and when I realized and looked up I stared laughing and smiling with everyone. I started talking to them (had to be really loud) while we danced and made some amazing friends. I probably hugged and kissed about 20 strangers, telling them how much I loved them (again sorry if it's repetitive but I just felt so lovey that it's all i could do). I guess I looked pretty messed up cause they'd hug me and laugh and say like 'How much did you take?' and I'd just grin.

My friends and I had brought dozens of different party accessories that we were sharing with the crowd, especially some kaleidoscope glasses that I had brought. You'd put them on and the different colours would refract. This, in combination with the lights emanating from the stage, would make every stranger grin as soon as they put them on. I got even more happy based off their reactions, and when I told some girls that had been dancing and talking to us for a while that they could keep using it for a few more minutes (after she gave them back) she kissed me on the lips, I kissed her back. It was funny because it wasn't sexual in any way, I didn't feel aroused at all, I just felt pure love for her.

Among the many party accessories that we had was a glowing dolphin - you'd press a button and he would start to glow in different colours (red, blue, green). My friend started playing with the dolphin, moving him up and down gently in the way that a dolphin swims, and we were drawn to it like flies to light. It was so captivating; the different lights almost magnetised to our eyes and we felt like it was magical. I (very, very, very sadly) dropped it, and it was an EXTREMELY depressing moment for a few seconds, I felt like crying because of the strong bond that I had made with the dolphin for the past 5 mins (I'd been kissing the dolphin and raising it as my own together with my friends B, T, another T I guess and L). However, L put the parts together, and although it didn't stay, we put the dolphin (Augustus) in his bag and carried him around with us, telling each other that he would live on in our hearts. This put me back in the amazing mood that I was in, and we couldn't get out of it.

By this point it had been almost 2 hours since we dosed, and we all felt UNREAL. Some of my friends were concerned about redosing and didn't want to do it because of the risks, but me, B, T and M went to find our guy again. Sure enough, he was in the same spot. When we saw him, I ran up to him and almost hugged the dealer out of pure happiness to see him. He laughed. It probably wasn't very smart in hindsight - we're from Brazil and many dealers have a no-nonsense kind of approach) but our guy seemed to be fine with it. We bought some more and headed over to the trance stage with our other friends who had decided not to redose.

After this, I don't really have a recollection of the order of events. Everything is like a blur and I have some memory loss - I only know the following because of my own partial (weak) memory, my friends' memories or the very small amount of videos/pics we took.

The trance stage was unbelievable because although I hadn't liked trance before the festival, I could see how it was perfect for the happy vibe that we were all in, our bodies seemed to devour the long buildups and melodies that were played. Every now and then the DJs would drop some absolute throwbacks that we used to listen to in our childhood and incorporate it into their mixes, and my heart would get so happy from singing to the lyrics that I'd heard 1000 times before. My brain was thinking so quick - I kept thinking to myself, how is it that we listen to these exact songs millions of times before this, but only get wild at festivals? I decided it was the vibe of everyone that was there and the pure love that everyone was showing towards the music. Whenever I conversed with somebody it would be at an incredibly fast pace.

We made dozens of friends, etc., hugged, danced with random people, the feelings of empathy that we had were unreal. I think at about 4am I got temporarily separated from my friends and felt some anxiety and depression. It was all fine though, despite my phone not having battery, we had set up a meeting point and I found them in 5 minutes which brought back all of my happiness.

I also remember that there was a point where I was kneeling down, kissing the earth and thanking god-knows-what for having created such an amazing world to live in. I've never been religious and I didn't feel religious then. As I contemplated about what brought about such an amazing world, I realized how lucky we are to be able to live in it. As I kept kneeling, my friends around me started massaging my head and hair and it felt godly - so silk and soft, reinforcing the feelings of love for the earth and my friends that I had.

The final 'bad' thing about the night was that as I felt so loving towards all my friends, I bought like 20 waters for us and stuffed them into our bags. The bill was like $60 USD (on JUST water). I kind of don't regret it, because I knew they would have done the exact same thing to me at the time if they had thought of it, because we were all just feeling so good. Nonetheless I regretted it the next day, hahaha.

One final thing I forgot to mention, halfway through the rave some guy came up to me, showed me my own ID and was like 'Are you Dani??' I'm like 'Yeah man, how did you get my ID?' and he told me that he'd been looking for me for 20 minutes because he had found my wallet on the floor with everything else (money, cards, etc.) Never before did I feel so much love for a stranger than I did then. The fact he'd gone out of his way to help me, and that there wasn't a single thing missing (when I had loads of cash inside) restored my absolute faith in humanity. I must have been hugging and thanking the guy for 10 minutes all in all, and him and his friends hung out with us for a bit which was an unbelievable experience and overall an amazing stroke of good luck.

All in all, I think the MDMA formed a special bond between me and the friends that I went with. We're never going to forget this in our lives and are planning our next roll. I would definitely recommend. Take a testing kit (which we were too stupid to do) and do some research, even though it definitely won't prepare you for it. I also fell in love with the trance scene, and the raving community as a whole much more than I previously did. You could say I made 10,000 best friends that night.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 111420
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jan 22, 2018	Views: 933
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Rave / Dance Event (18)