DOSE:

0.5 hits

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

118 lb

-This report was written 3 days following the experience

Me and my Boyfriend ill call him Sam both took half a tab of LSD not long ago while staying in a beach condo by the ocean. I was feeling scared to take the acid because of a bad prior experience but my friends told me my prior experience was a research chemical being sold as LSD so I figured I would give it another shot. I suggested half a tab to start since I was told it was really strong and I was feeling super nervous.

1 Beginning:

We took a half tab of LSD each and watched a movie on Netflix while we waited for it to kick in. The LSD gave me serious diarrhea I had to get up and use the bathroom maybe 5 times and eventually gave up watching the movie to sit in the living room to meditate. This was the first time I've ever really reached enlightenment from meditation. Everything turned into light and I felt like I was no longer my body but I was the surface of my skin. My body felt like an empty shell being filled by light and I was the feeling of the ocean breeze. Sam wasn’t feeling the acid kick in yet so he kept bothering me and snapping me out of it. I tried getting him to join me in meditation but it wasn’t hitting him very much yet.

Sam wanted me to go downstairs and cuddle with him. I was pretty reluctant because I was feeling so good meditating but he was insistent so I went. We cuddled for a bit and then we both got up to use the bathroom. When I looked in the bathroom mirror I felt like I could see through my skin and I don’t mean like flesh and blood I mean I could see my essence. Under my skin it was fragments of gray rot constantly shifting. I looked repulsive, demonic even. I looked like my soul was void of love and joy and just filled with pain. I had to turn off the lights and leave, I just couldn’t bear looking any longer.

When I walked out of the bathroom Sam was walking down the steps. I told him what happened and that I thought I was a monster and asked if I was really that ugly. He consoled me and made me feel a lot better.

I don’t remember much of what happened between this and when we got back downstairs on the bed so I’m going to fast-forward to the scene on the bed.

2 Middle:

We were both downstairs laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. I was watching the flat popcorn ceiling turn into 3 dimensional layers of surfaces and shift. I started telling a story my friend told me about how a cat would sleep on his friends face to try to kill him. This made Sam super upset. He just couldn’t stand my story. I consoled him to make him feel better and this is when things got REALLY BAD.

He started kissing me softly and being gentle, affectionate and warm. He got closer and with his head in front of my face looking down he said in a soft voice “You know how you said you were a monster earlier?” he looked up with his face centimeters away from mine. His eyes were bulging out of his head and pointing in different directions. He had a grin on his face and he whispered “well you are”.

I don’t know how to explain this but the life literally got sucked out of the room. I truly feel like this was the moment a demon emerged from my boyfriend’s body and got a grasp of the surface of his mind. I felt scared for my life, like he was going to kill me at any moment. I was alone with an empty man in a silent room. I tried snapping him back to reality and was like “SAM what was that?!” he said he was trying to make me feel the way he felt. He started acting normal again and the room was no longer a glimpse of hell. I ignored what happened and proceeded to have a good time.

3 Middle Peak:

We went upstairs and this was the peak of my trip. Sam’s face turned into a pattern of faces stretching down from his chin and up from his forehead. His physical face occurred to me was a crystalized form of the pattern. His eyes repeated on his eyebrow and the dent on the forehead. I was incapable of responding to him I was too caught up in the other world to react. Every bend in the ocean turned into fragments of soft glass reflecting the sky. It was so beautiful.

We went outside but Sam got super bad anxiety so we came back in immediately. I was so disappointed I couldn’t go swimming but he said we stuck out too bad. I tried explaining that he was just being paranoid but that threw him into a rampage of complaining and insulting me. He snapped out of it and realized what he did. This then happened a few more times and when he snapped out of it he was crying and saying he was a monster for treating me so badly all the time. He was crying and crying saying I should leave him and that he should die. This was the first time in the 2 years of dating him that he’s EVER admitted to doing anything wrong, other than this one time everything that goes wrong in our relationship or his life has always been my fault. Usually he screams at me and makes my life unbearable until I say sorry and take the blame, but not this time. He apologized for everything he’s ever done and I told him I loved him forever and everything was okay. We proceeded to have a great rest of the night. I went to draw and he did math.

The next day:

The next day he strangled me. This was the first time he ever physically hurt me. I was washing the dished and he silently came up behind me and put his hands around my neck just tight enough so that I could not breathe. I knew that if I struggled his grip would get stronger so I stood there catatonic listening to him. He whispered in a soft voice behind me that I was a monster and that he was wrong about the day before, I was responsible for his pain and suffering. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me onto the couch pinning me down. I was petrified, frozen with tears running down my face. He kept screaming demanding a response but I couldn’t come up with anything. He went into the kitchen and swallowed 10 pills. He said he was killing himself. I started bawling crying demanding he throw them up, but then he said he faked it and then drank a 1/4th bottle of rum.

The rest of the day was hell. I was scared for my life. I had to clean up the beach house before we left and sometimes he would sneak up on me and just stand there looking at me with a crazy smile on his face in silence. I actually had to go outside on the balcony in view of other people so that he would not hurt me. Aside from fearing for my life the colors on the balcony were amazing. The sand looked like a beautiful pink against the blue sky.

The last few days have been really bad he has repeatedly threatened to kill me and I don’t know what to do or what happened to my boyfriend. He has always been mean but never like this. His father used to beat his wife but I didn’t think that would mean Sam was violent.

Conclusion:

While I had a fantastic trip I think the LSD brought something evil inside of Sam to the surface. I used to think drugs were for everyone but now I certainly don’t, I see how it can sometimes bring the worst out of people instead of the best. I am very unsure of what to do with our relationship and how to fix this, or if I can even fix this.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112132
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Aug 20, 2018	Views: 2,325
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