DOSE:		oral	Pharms - Aripiprazole	(daily)
		smoked	Crack

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

Substances: None - Vegan diet, plenty of hatha yoga, etc. Coming off a serious crack addiction

I was addicted to crack, and I have a mental health diagnosis (bipolar disorder). So, I was taking Abilify to manage my mental health and smoking crack on a daily basis. Finally what happened was, I began to experience akasthesia (a feeling that I would label as 'wow & flutter') because of the Abilify. So on my night when I needed to get some sleep, having been awake some 48 hours from the crack, I couldn't because of the Abilify side effects. I decided to do an experiment: I didn't take the Abilify the next day an slept like a lamb. The following day I took the Abilify and experienced akasthesia (it is more serious than it sounds).

At that point, I decided to toss the dice and go off all of my medications. I severed ties with my psychiatrist. I have been practicing hatha yoga since I was approximately 32 so I got really into that and was reading all of the yoga books I could get my hands on. I was a volunteer at a local yoga center. I was reading about Kundalinia yoga but at the time, I didn't know much about anything spiritual, I just felt better after an hour of yoga. I stopped smoking crack. I stopped drinking. I had never felt better. I lost 50 lb in a little less than a month. I went on a strict vegan diet.

About 30 days off of my medications, I was lying down for bed, and I had the experience of many snakes bouncing off the inner space in my chest. I went to a Kundalini yoga book I had (by Swami Sivananda), and it had a note about this sensation occurring prior to a Kundalini Shakti awakening. Satisfied, I lay down again. All of a sudden between sleep and wake I had a vision of a goddess hovering above my body, approximately the same size as me. She was almost like an infra-red color, no detail, just a black shadow hovering above me.

'Anger' the goddess said. Then she corrected herself and said 'Danger!'

All of a sudden, I felt my chakras light up. As energy went from the Muladhara chokra (at the base of the spine, linked to one's sense of security) and shot up to the next chakra, responsible for sexual / emotional health, I took my hand in physical space and gently stroked her vagina, only once.

All I can say is, she came and as she came, I experienced a female orgasm. The energy shot up my body, and I felt a tremendous sense of power. As the energy shot to my throat chakra I stayed silent. Then the energy reached the 7th and last chakra (the Sahasrara chakra, just above the crown of the head and outside of the body) and I experienced that the Devi, Shakti, the female deity in Hinduism, was looking out from my eyes. It was almost like I was the goddess and my mother, the Devi was watching the world through my eyes (I am male).

I think this was the best experience of my life. Prior to this experience I was an agnostic (I am a messianic Jew now) and afterword my whole outlook changed.

I had built a tremendous momentum by stopping smoking crack and getting sober through yoga, and it paid off.

I set out without a guru and I had some issues that I really could have used someone [who has been through a Kundalini awakening] to help me with.

If you are an agnostic or an atheist you might not believe any of this (which is fine) but I will say it got me off the crack pipe. It saved my life. I was in a death spiral and the Devi saved me.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 112203
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Aug 9, 2018	Views: 3,838
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Crack (82), Endogenous (86) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Mystical Experiences (9), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)