DOSE:

5 g

oral

Mushrooms - P. cubensis

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

After a few years of processing the envy experience I am ready to share it. Before any of this happened, I was a different person, I didn’t really believe in God, and I felt that I was going nowhere I my life and I had no self-confidence, to me life had no point, it was only - birth, school, work, death. However, along my way in life I started experimenting with psychedelics, this is where it all started to change, from peyote to LSD then mushrooms and DMT the color was coming back into my life, life started to have meaning. I began growing mushrooms for 2 years taking up to 14 dried grams which was still not as intense as this strain of mushrooms, 5 grams felt like what could have been 25 grams of cubensis, this experience with penis envy changed my life forever. I am grateful for this experience happening and I am glad to be able to be alive and conscious. Now this isn’t the full story because what happened on this day can really only be experienced, words only go so far to describe this experience, it was ineffable, and sublime. During the course of this night I lived an eternity in 8 hours.

This Experience took place at 9:40 on September 1st 2016

1. Around the 9:40 mark I took the penis envy mushrooms (5 Dried Grams) and laid down on my bed listening to the playlist I have created mostly 70’s music.

2. At 10:20, I feel the psilocin kicking in stronger than usual. I am getting the most profound body rushes of euphoria and ecstasy I have ever gotten, like waves of an orgasm crashing on to the body, I am seeing the music turning into fractals at this point I am able to focus on each beat and see it form in the mind as it plays.

3. Loosing track of time now, I am getting profound revelations as my consciousness expands, I get a sense of becoming whole at this point and began to understand what reality is, as it is being given to me through a higher state of consciousness. I close my eyes and feel like I am in an intense dream, I then see white house on a grassy ball I am moving closer and closer to it till I enter the door of the house, upon entering the house I start becoming awake and waking up from the dream.

4. Now, I am having realizations about consciousness and God, I am starting to lose the feeling in my body, as I lay on the bed, time has completely stopped and my room is now an ancient domain of infinite knowledge, it seemed like it was the end of the world and no worldly ideas were in my head only knowledge that would change the understanding of the world was there.

5. I roll off the bed because I am now getting very scared, the room is no longer there, time is nothing and I am dissolving into pure God consciousness, At this point I am experiencing an absolute transcendence of consciousness, I am on the ground just wanting this to end because it is too much, I look at my phone and it is only 11:11 I stop the music and just lay on the ground helpless, it feels like a million years goes by and I look at my phone again still 11:11 I began to cry because time was not moving and I was stuck here forever.

6. Then I began to feel a separation from this world due to the fact, that everything that was revealed to me through higher consciousness, was undoing all the tethers that bound my consciousness to the body and the world. There was no such thing as limitation…. Everything up to this point was falling apart, the ideas who made up who I was from the world was falling apart, the world knew nothing, and me being from the world, knew nothing.

7. I am dying now, I feel that my time has come and everything that was holding me here was gone, I felt sad because I knew I was going to die and everyone would find me here on the ground dead. I didn’t want this, I began to pray to God asking him to let me live. I prayed: “I haven’t had enough time to do what I needed to do, please let me stay”.

8. Still the death was here, I said “If I am going to die, then let my family know I love them, let my girlfriend know I love her”.

9. At this point, I heard a voice and it said “consciousness never dies it only transforms and knowledge is power”. I followed the statement and I said “if I am consciousness then”…….

10. At that point I came out of my body, I was looking at my body, light was coming out of every hole - eyes, ears, mouth, I come back into my body and start speaking either Aramaic or Hebrew, this beautiful language is flowing out of me.

11. I close my eyes again and a mask in front of me is coming off, then math just starts pouring into my very being then I see a man in a suit, facing me with a smile on his face. However, I could only see up to the bottom before the eyes began, his head had no top it looked like a chalice, the voice started again and the man in the suit said, “you are me, I am you, we are one” as he was saying this I went into him, him into me, then us being one . At this moment I was never born and I never died I always was, I AM.

12. So here is where I heard more voices speaking above me, it was saying that “he is the messiah”, I kept hearing the term “mashiach”, this voice was taking me on a journey it showed me a large town, the voice was saying “look at all the places you will go, sharing this light, blessing them with it” and that I would inherit the earth . Then it was taking me through memories that I have yet to experience. It said “you had no idea you would end up here till now” In reference to showing me all these memories.

13. Still getting more intense, I just lay on the floor still not able to speak or move at this point, I can’t remember much, all I can say is that it was ineffable the last thing I can recall before this “white out” is my consciousness was moving toward what looked like a bright sun anything past this I can not recall.

14. I come back to my body realizing I’m still on the ground lying on my back looking at this beautiful star that was surrounded by a bright white light with the most sublime writing on it. The star itself is half fire half white light, it resembles the star of David, I am not sure how long I was staring at it but next to the star Jesus appeared to me, he looked very handsome and perfect, extremely symmetrical, He helped me feel calm, I laid there until I was able to get up.

15. The effects are wearing off, and I am out of breath and extremely hot so I get naked go to the hall way and lay down on the tile floor.

16. 7 am rolls around I am exhausted and fall asleep.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 112261
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Aug 17, 2018	Views: 3,952
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), OBE (332) : General (1), Mystical Experiences (9), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)