DOSE:	75 mg	oral	Diphenidine
			Unknown

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

While I've tried a number of dissociativates, I'm not a habitual or particularly experienced user. I wasn't able to find the exact dissociative I was looking for (o-pce), so I wound up buying diphenidine since it seemed popular with people online. After I got prepaired for bed, I weighed out 75mg and took it orally.

There is something that happens to me occasionally when I take dissociatives, and I'm not quite sure if it's real or not. It definitely happened this trip, and I've previously experienced it with 3-meo-pce. What happens is I feel like I'm cut loose from various addictions of the flesh, and given a clear mind to think about my life and recent actions without the bonds of chemical abuse, ungratefulness for my situation, or other negative mental influences distorting my thinking. I'm not sure if this is some sort of chemical lie or if I'm actually thinking clearly. It's sort of like when you get really stoned and suddenly realize that you're taking too many risks with your life. In these cases is the high me thinking clearly, or am I actually worrying about something that I shouldn't? Who knows.

The trip developed into a very emotional and melancholy state. I was in the dark and mainly thinking about my life. I didn't notice any of the euphoria other people talk about. The main body sensations were a moderate feeling of dissociation, cold feet, and a numb and slightly staticky feeling around my lips. Everything in the room was slowly moving. The fan on the ceiling slowly rotated in circles, and nothing in my visual field was particularly nailed down and was free to move around and melt. Shadows were highly patterned and crosshatched, and moved as well, rising above me and then melted out of sight. This entire time I was thinking and being quite hard on myself. I felt like I had to come up with a plan to clean up my life, sell off or give away my stash of RCs, be more supportive to my significant other, clean out my living space, and even unclog the drains. I could hear my girlfriend snoring in living room, but when I tried to phrase the words to explain that I would now do a better job of my life my mind just failed me. I could barely come up with a coherent sentence about anything. I felt like my entire life was unstable.

Eventually I wandered out into the light. A moderate feeling of dissociation and not really being there did not prevent me from being quiet or noticing what things would make noise. I wanted to get some sleep and couldn't, it'd actually been close to 3 hours. I looked at the fridge (which had some CBD in it) but I didn't open it, then looked into the brightly lit living room. I could barely comprehend what I was looking at! The entire scene looked flat and sort of incomprehensible. Large things made sense, like the fridge or the couch, but anything more detailed didn't make sense. I couldn't tell if my significant other was on the couch or not, and the cat looked like a 2D cutout as it calmly wondered what the hell was wrong with me. That isn't too unusual for that cat. In all it sort of reminded me of the time, in college, that my friend and I took way too much pure DXM and anesthetized ourselves. My eyes at the time were open but I couldn't actually make sense of what I was looking at. Was I inside or outside the tent? It took several hours before I figured out that I was actually sticking half out the door, with my head outside and my arms and torso inside.

I went back to bed. Something about the substance was making it hard to sleep, so I took a sleep aide which sat uncomfortably in my stomach. Finally I actually fell asleep. The entire trip took around 4 hours.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112710
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Jan 3, 2019	Views: 1,956
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Diphenidine (630) : General (1), First Times (2), Unknown Context (20)