DOSE:

200 ug

oral

1P-LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

1P-LSD on New Year

INTO:

I have decided the best way to start a new year ought to be on a psychedelic. 1-p LSD happens to be readily available in my area and I enjoy acid's stimulating effects over mushrooms and cannabis, which are both perfectly good substances in their own right.

Some friends asked if the could stay at my house for new years's eve. I'm not the type who enjoys drinking or hard partying, so we would play games, talk and laught together. I informed my friends about my plans before and politely offered them some acid as well, but they either declined out of respect for the substance or didn't answer. Both are fine with me.

START (Around 8:00 pm)

My mindset was quite antsy for the experience to begin for the entire day prior. I remember some dream figments from the night before, where I would explain to my dad, how you could manifest hallucinatory dream-yarn while on acid and then roll it into a spiral (because what else to do with it?).

I decided to drop around 8:00 pm, so hopefully the peak would be around midnight. My friends were already at my house and wanted to smoke weed. I declined, explaining how mixing substances is not recommended. But I accompanied them outside. I dropped a short time before that.

When we were outside I asked my friends if they could see anything in my eyes yet, as the streetlights were already shining a bit more pronounced then usual. But they told me my eyes were all-normal. After my friends had the longest smoke ever, at least that's how I experienced it, we went back inside. I noticed the first hallucinations, as the structure of the ceiling-tapestry started to shift, forming triangles that dissipated right as they were formed, giving rise to new triengles of shifting colors as I kept staring. My body felt more like a suit or mask, that didn't quite fit everywhere, but still faithfully obeyed my commands. I learned to associate the now most pronounced effects of comeup-anxiety with positive excitement.

We decided to play some Scotland Yard. I must admit I found my friend's constant chattering pretty annoying. I just wanted to listen to music and let my trip manifest itself. After the first Mr. X was cought, my friends wanted to go outside again. I pointed at the clock, showing something around half-past ten. I made it clear, that I would stay inside, enjoying the host's right to the choice of music without my friends constant babble. I would grab a piece of paper and draw on it while listening to Nightwish.

I would attempt to give these little figments of lucent mind-stuff that would keep forming in my field of vision static form through the pencil. Unfortunately my moderately-skilled, not quite attuned body could only accomplish so much. The lines and forms would always appear bigger and with less form then the hallucinotary original. But it did not matter to me. I kept sweeping the pencil over the paper in ways that seemed interesting, fun, or simply confortable at the time. The drawn lines on the paper would give rise to new hallucinations, right there on the paper. Guess what those would end up inspiring? I was enjoying a nice flow-state while it lasted.

The door opened and my friends returned. I'm going to refer the them by their d&d character names (from games previously DM'ed by me). Lucian, the elvish sorcerer, would role a critical success on his check to spot the piece of arcane-magic scribbling in my drawing hands. After he made some attempts at interpreting those figures my other friends got their turn as well. Everyone saw something different in it. I was quite amazed and felt like I had succeeded as an artist right then and there. Also I was baffled how the could come up with all those interpretations without those energetic little spites of immaterial color that would manifest themselves everywhere.

The second game of Scotland Yard was alot more fun than the first one. This was the part where I would just make fun of everything and anyone and laught histerically at every little absurdity that came to mind. After a turn that felt like 30 minutes of pure joy and friendly mockery, I made my move.

One of my friends presented a picture from my elemenatry school years. I got the usual 'how cute' comments, followed by something a bit more interesting. Lucian commented, how I still had that specific look in the picture. That slightly annoyed look with a figment of showing the worst judgement solely on the basis of the other person's existence. I laughed and said how I didn't mean it. I thought to myself it was interesting how people would interpret things onto my visage I did not even realize. I am a judgemental person, maybe that's why I enjoy acid's judgement-suppressing effects , but I noticed right there that any judgement felled by me against another person was just as much fear of not being accepted for what I am or who I'm associating with. It also hit me how I adopted a mix of mannorisms and ways of expressing myself from all across my sphere of friends. How I truly was the avarage of the ten people I spend the most time with.

NEW YEAR (Midnight)

The clock hit midnight and we went outside to light some fireworks. I was worried getting up would kill my good mood. I slipped on my sneakers and jacket, picked up my keys and lighter and waited for everyone to finnaly get their stuff together so we could leave. I'm living in a big city and the climate outside could best be discribed as hot war with flashy lights and loud bangs.

With pieces of laced magnesium blazing up all around me and fizzling back into nothingness, my friend Oligarsh lighted a joint while holding fireworks in his other hand. There it hit me - and it hit me hard! This is what it's all about. Lighting fires. We have done it for the better part of our species history. Is there any rational reason to a tradition like lighting freworks on new year? Aren't we just burning up our limited ressources?
So?
So What? We are doing exactly what we as humans are ought to do. Light fires.
Be it those orchestras of spiraling stars and bright nebulas of color or the joint glimming in my friends hand. What would we ever hope to accomplish? This right here is what the universe, existance and our place in it was all about. Doing something some might call dangerous but also fun.

Three cop cars passed and I thought how foolish whatever errand those uniformed officers are on must be. As all human progress is to light better fires, or make better fireworks, grow weed, which are all sparky variations on the same thing (acid isn't exactly like lighting something, but you're still letting your mind burn a bit brighter than usuall, so it still counts on my mind).

Then I noticed it's probaly for the best that someone keeps a flicker of order in this warzone of radiating magnesium and alkali metals, so there would be a city left to launch fireworks from the next year. I was acting as warden of our house, not allowing Mr X to launch a rocket. He refused my refusal and we had a little wrestle. It ended up with the rocket's launch-stick broken and my lighter in the thieve's hand's of Mr X. I was a bit disgusted with my forcefull display and took a moment to reflect before making sure to see my lighter back in my hands.

Those low-class buffoons from across the street where launching rockets horizontally at their peers. My friend Oligarsh was frightened at first, but then delighted on the sight, that these were only highscool kids having a friendly battle. I only saw that one kid's ugly haircut I thought how much I'd like to bash those uncultured orcs heads in, if only they were the monsters I pictured them as. Then it hit me again. All I ought to do with myself in this maelstrom of explosions and madness is to see that I'm cultured in the way I do things. It doesn't matter what things, only that I need to be cultured when engaging in them. I proudly strutted across burned-up fireworks like a brittish officer on a battlefield. Those orc-kids may have culture and art in their large circle, but those individuals where just low class, doomed to live as uncultured low-wage workers in a capitalist consumers society.

I would continue to have epiphanies on my well calculated peak. Having realizations about the nature of the masculine and the feminine and how guns, missiles and nuclear warheads are just natural extensions of those fun little sparky-things liting the night sky. Thousand's dying, loosing loved ones and their homes in conflicts other land, where some petty person wants to be boss and see fires lighted the only right and true way. But those foolish upstart apes will continue to shoot them vertical and into constuction, no matter how hard the guy at the big desk tried to setup rules and regulations. My ideals of social and scientific progress seemed petty at that time, as all we were ment to do was light fires, cause explosions and talk the abundance of not very important talk you talk.

This entire time was best described as a mix of awe, enjoyment of sparkly lights and some sobering realizations drawn from my epiphanies, when it comes to my state of mind.

THE AFTERMATH (between midnight and 4:00 am)

We went back inside, seeing to get this party continued. The fires must stay lit! My friends all poured themselves some sparkling wine. Lucian commented how it smelled fermented. I laughed about that dry realization and was glad once again that I'm no longer bothering to drink. We decided to play a game. My friends continued to get more drunk while I rode the beggining of the end of my acid-trip.

At around 3:00 a.m. I decided enough is enough and that game is the mouth of madness. We played another game with finite rules, so mere mortals are able to learn and play it. Around 4:00 a.m. I started some cleanup and my friends would slowly decide we should call it a night and left.

After a lenghty cleanup which went over many cicles, which wasn't all that annoying because of that remaining energy of my fading trip. After that I put on some more music to type this, while my pupils are becoming normal-sized again and my eyelids become heavier.

CONCLUSION
This experience can only be summed up as one of the best New Year's celebrations I've experienced this far and a pretty enjoyable trip overall, with some rough edges here and there. Those epiphanies are not as oppersive with the resulting disillusionment about human nature and existance, as the peak is over now. I notice how earlier in my tripping-career those types of thoughts that come with disillusionment about the percieved merit of human civilization lead me down dark paths in my own mind. I handeled it pretty well this time. Maybe personel growth, maybe accepting existensional pessimism.

A continue to experience slight swirling visuals in my dimly-lit room as the physical effects (most notably wakefullness) have mostly faded.

Exp Year: 2018-2019	ExpID: 112759
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Jan 17, 2019	Views: 1,442
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