DOSE:		oral	Caffeine	(liquid)
	2 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(seeds)
	0.5 oz	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

155 lb

In the winter of 2009, my group of friends had become very interested in psychoactives after reading literature on them. We had all shared cannabis together and perhaps seen psychotropics as the next logical step. All of us were in our late teens and early twenties, college students, from families ranging from middle to upper middle class.

We secured one ounce of dried mushrooms from a source we had used before and trusted and decided that we would split the ounce four ways. In the previous two years I had consumed mushrooms twice before at lower dosages, ranging from an eighth to a sixth of an ounce, experimented with LSD (never more than two blotter tabs), and had in general been recreationally using alcohol and cannabis for several years previous to this. I was home from school on break and was in a very good mood, happy to see my friends, happy to be home as my school was several hours away and I was proving to be a marginal student.

I will refer to the other three individuals besides myself who had gone in on the ounce of shrooms by the names X,Y, and Z. Both X and Y were relatively experienced in psychoactives and as a matter of fact X and Y and myself had shared shrooms before and all had positive experiences. Z however, had never consumed psychoactives. After a game of cards at a separate person's house, we decided to head to Y's house to drop them. At about 10PM, I was feeling a little sluggish so I bought and consumed an energy drink at a convenience store to get with it. This was the first of many mistakes I made this particular night. I did not disclose doing this to X, who was the most well-read on dosages, chemical knowledge, etc. At 10:20, we arrived at Y's house and proceeded to the basement where we had consumed mushrooms before without incident.

X had also secured a large amount of Syrian Rue from an unknown source but had assured it was fine and was interested in combining it with the mushrooms to potentiate the effect. Y had bought a pizza on the way and suggested we use it as a vehicle for the mushrooms. He also had purchased a carton of orange juice for the purpose of ingesting the Syrian Rue. At 10:40, we began to suspect that Z had bailed. We tried to contact him, but he did not answer. In the meantime, we all ingested the Syrian Rue, put on some music, and watched Sportscenter. At 11:00, we decided Z was not going to show up and began to talk about what to do.

I was fresh off a semester where I had been going especially hard by my own standards, I had a series of very positive experiences with drugs and they had helped me make entrances into different social circles and generally, I was quite confident of my ability to handle myself. Well, that of course was a huge mistake as well. I was overconfident. I decided that I would just take my quarter ounce on top of Z's. For no other reason than my own hubris, really, I let X and Y know that I was going to be fine. I was experienced, I'd just etc. I took the mushrooms at about 11:15 with two slices of pizza. X and Y divided the other half ounce. My comeup was markedly longer than my other trips, likely because of this.

We passed the time conversing, discussing cards, books, and other small talk. My come up was delayed, but very intense once it took hold. I went from seeing a familiar vibrating, waving effect overlaying things, to tubular projections and what seemed like tunneling worms swimming over the the table I was seated at. I mentioned I was definitely coming up. X was as well. Y was still not. I had to go upstairs to use the bathroom. While urinating, a large picture of a Precious Moment style boy kneeling that Y's mother had hung seemed to turn and look at me, and instantly I knew I was very, very high. I looked for a very long time at myself in the mirror and confusing thoughts crossed my mind. I had been reading Neil Gaiman's Sandman series at the time and I was flooded by concepts from those comics.

When I returned to the basement, X was beginning to trip as well. Y still was not feeling much of anything. I requested a pen and pad as I was getting some very heavy thoughts. I sat down and started to write.

From this point forward in the story, I will refer to both things I remember and things I don't- much of what happened was relayed to me after this episode was over and so I'll try to indicate the source of the information as best I can, but a decade has passed between now and then- being completely, dangerously high notwithstanding.

I began to write slowly at first but as I went, I picked up speed. (The full text was actually saved by X but where it got to now, I have no idea). I began referring to the headspace I was in as "Albany" for some reason. The trip really began to pick up speed at this point. I was writing very fast in looping shorthand and as I went the words I was writing looked like they were melting straight off the page. I was hyped at this point, I felt like what I was writing was unbelievably important and had critical insights into the universe. I was absolutely vibrating, and the speed of my vibration began to match different things like the pen in my hand, the paper, the walls, etc.

X was doing some writing himself while peaking. Y only got a few threshold effects for the duration of the episode. We could not explain it. As it turned out, this was a very good thing. When I finished writing, I began thinking some very disturbing thoughts. The first thought I had was that our parents had lied to us. The world ended in 1978 and what we were living in was just a simulation. The world was beginning to end. This was the last week that the simulation would have power and then it would shut down. I began to pace and talk very quickly. I started talking about how everything that was happening tonight had happened infinite times before but we were in different roles each time. I also kept thinking of my brain as a series of hundreds of millions of switches and that anything I did flipped them into different configurations. I became obsessed with words such as "echolalia" and "miscellaneous".

I kept thinking about the passage of billions of years of time and was convinced I had lived every life that any person had ever lived and that this was just one time I was living in this identity. I had entered into ego death territory. I thought I was several people at once including Hitler, Neil Gaiman, Zelda Fitzgerald, the list goes on. I was utterly convinced at this point that everything was immaterial, that I could move objects with my mind, and I could set things on fire by talking to them. Needless to say, I was beginning to spiral out of control. As things intensified, I spouted absolute nonsense, I turned to X and said something to the effect of "We spent 60 dollars and solved the universe."

Before I went completely bonkers, I told them that the world did not matter. We were all already dead. To prove it, I whipped out my dick and pissed on the floor. I began to see the pattern of wallpaper I had on my childhood bedroom wall everywhere and it reinforced my idea that time was broken and everything was running together. I think I was getting the idea from Final Fantasy 8 and the Time Compression plot point in it. I announced I was going to the local diner and letting people know about the coming apocalypse and Y tried as hard as he could to stop me but I had made up my mind and also, I was convinced I was God.

Outside, I saw a slowly moving car and was convinced the driver was my friend Gina. Because I thought I could move through solid objects I thought I could phase through the car and into the seat like the Twins from the Matrix Reloaded. The car was at a stop and I half-tackled the car. This was the beginning of the end. At this point Y got me under control and we went back to his house and down into the basement. The jig was up, though, and the police had gotten involved. Shortly thereafter, an officer was talking to me and asking questions. I told him Z and his girlfriend were still coming to the party and I asked the officer if he was Z in disguise. He called for backup. I ran around the living room trying to get away from the police, but they got me and cuffed me. I thought it was all a very cruel prank by Z and was more amused than anything else. I still believed I could melt the handcuffs with my brain. I tried to talk to the paramedic about "The Rule of Three" which was a religion I made up on the spot.

The ride to the clinic was not fun. I became aware I was just hallucinating and came down while still cuffed to the gurney. I was obviously in a lot of shit. That was the end of the fun part of the trip. Coming down, I felt empty, drained, and dejected. X and Y both got in trouble, of course, but not of the legal variety. Y tells a very funny story that the cops found X's bag of rue, and upon pulling on the seeds went everywhere, causing the cop to remark "Yeah, this is gonna be a problem."

I did not ever tell anybody what I took, not even my parents. At some point the cops asked if I had smoked weed and I just said "yes" to all their questions. They ended up drawing my blood and amazingly, nothing showed up on the toxicology report. Not only that, but the Syrian Rue is totally legal, so the only thing that came out of it for me was a Disorderly Persons. I went to the summons to plead out and incredibly, the prosecutor told the judge everyone else involved had "already been charged seperately" even though nobody had been charged at all. I had to pay a fine and write an essay. Going forward, I drastically reduced my psychotropic usage. I really don't even smoke cannabis anymore.

So our theory was that between the MAOI properties of the Rue and the caffeine and other additives in the energy drink, I was launched into a manic state of mind where then the large mushroom dose made me disassociate. Ten flavors of manic madman- what could go wrong? The lesson to be learned is pretty obvious- know your dosages, know your limits and be ready for consequnces if you decide to push them. All said, however, the experience was one of the most enlightening, shattering, transformative experiences of my life and it probably marks the end of my teenage years. I will probably do mushrooms again before I die, but I will be much more careful and in a more humble state of mind.

Stay safe. Don't be stupid.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 112854
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Mar 21, 2019	Views: 3,501
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), Police / Customs (60) : Combinations (3), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Small Group (2-9) (17)