DOSE:

2 hits

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

67 kg

I was supposed to be tripping with my boyfriend and three friends, however on the day my bf wasn’t feeling like it, one of my friends decided to be a sober sitter and the other was out of contact and came over to trip after the final friend and I had already been tripping for a few hours. On a whim, I had taken 2 tabs instead of my usual one, because my friend was taking 2.5 (he has a ridiculous tolerance for drugs and the usual dose we take only makes him slightly giggly, so we decided to try a higher dose. He also takes 300mg of MDMA to feel any high at all). I though fuck it, I’d accompany him on this high dose (incidentally double the dose I had ever done). I had taken acid maybe 4 or 5 times. None of them were like this.

Initially we switched on the Scooby Doo movie, and whilst it started out kind of funny, it just became more and more unsettling after a while. My friend was started to freak out with his breathing as he felt for the first time LSD kicking in and I followed him to the floor of the kitchen and out of that atmosphere in the living room and got him to breathe and cool down with me (drink water and chill out, he was pouring with sweat, he runs at a high temperature and the restless LSD comeup was not helping). Anyway, I got him and myself sorted again, and we went back to the living room where we changed to listening to music. We bobbed along to the music, mirroring each other identically, as visuals began kicking in harder for me.

Around this time I messaged my boyfriend asking him to come over. He appeared upset on the phone, and I remembered that I had stupidly left him on a sad note, and I was not planning to stand for it. I insisted that if he wasn’t coming here (we lived a few streets away from my friend’s house), then I was going there. My friends tried to dissuade me, but my mind was entirely set. By this point the rough coming up energy was finally evening out to the beautiful, colourful, clear and deep visuals that I adore on LSD. I said I was completely fine to walk home alone if I must, because my sheer determination was so strong. Luckily my sober friend was having none of it and eventually began to walk me home since my mind was set.

It was on the walk home that I began to realise that I was far, far from evening out on the trip. My friend was talking to me about his little sister and how he went skiing with her as we walked; in the meantime, my vision had split. On the one hand I could still see my friend and surroundings and hold the conversation going, on the other hand – visions began to appear in my mind that were just as clear and real to me as my surroundings. I could see them in full as well as what was physically around me. It is lucky that brains can see multiple dimensions and things at once when tripping this hard, even if the visions were sometimes intruding into my surroundings. But I have never experienced this before – it wasn’t open eye visuals, it wasn’t closed eye visuals, it was mind’s eye visuals – as clear as day.

I began feeling the lead up to something, something big. I could see the cosmos and green celtic knots intertwining. I could hear a song playing that had been playing earlier, and the words ‘don’t try to force it’ and ‘the incredible….the incredible….the incredible ‘It’’. I saw hundreds of spiritual clichés as completely true, could hear wordplays in my mind that held significant meaning, and then all of a sudden I was slipping into being everyone. I saw myself in the eyes of an enlightened buddhist monk, a homeless person, I saw myself being cruel to my ex and for a moment I felt guilty, before I realised that my ex was also me, and that we both were me, and I slipped back into being one with everyone just as quickly.

I saw reality as a singular point – A point that all I could see was white, and it looked 2D until I looked from the side, where it refracted. It refracted into our reality – perfection that refracted into different vibrations/light/not sure what to create form and our material universe. It formed a multidimensional shape that was our reality, forms just a mere refraction of the one whole, which could be seen when I rotated back to looking from the top of the shape where it was one singular point again. I understood deeply then that this reality is eternal. That point, it had always been there, and it would always be. There was nothing else except that point. And the refractions of the point, our world, were always changing in constant flow, like the celtic knots. I could see people and environments shifting into others, changing eternally.

We got to my house and my boyfriend answered the door. I came inside and sat on the sofa with him, reeling from my realisations and the ongoing visions of the reality. I turned to him and said, ‘L, I am so happy that we will be together forever!’ because I understood that he and I were one, and we were the whole, and the whole is eternal, so we would never be apart, even if I was technically him too.

He was watching a serious program on TV where someone had cancer and police were involved with some case and that sort of thing. I was on my high of feeling one with all and the bliss and knowledge that everything was always going to be okay, everything was eternal. I thought the show was a comedy and couldn’t stop laughing because I could hear the seriousness in everyone’s voices, but it was all a parody to me, and I shouted at the screen ‘you’re not going to die! We’re all eternal!’ and the characters seemed to me to be putting on more and more ridiculous tones to make me laugh with because none of that stuff that they were talking about truly mattered.

I was still seeing multidimensionally for some time and at the peak of the trip I lay on the floor with my eyes closed, seeing the flow of one life into another, over and over, in the cosmos and celtic knots. I felt bliss and lost in that moment. Eventually I began coming down, and it was by far the roughest end to a trip I have ever had – it felt like all those dimensions were suddenly being crammed into my tiny, human little head and as if 4D had been downgraded to 2D – like a highly realistic VR game being downgraded to an old arcade game. It was really hard to go back to this point of view as it wasn’t happening smoothly but in a somewhat jarring manner, like steps, and it made me feel really nauseous because of the difference in visual input all of a sudden.

I had to leave to the bedroom and listen to acoustic music in the dark to calm myself and make the transition smoother. I found that all my egoic functions were coming back one by one – I felt my shallow breathing return, I started thinking thoughts about myself that I usually do subconsciously, though I could still at this point easily distinguish between my higher perceptions and the lower vibration, not-divine egoic thoughts, and discount the latter. I also found that there were particular ways that I could lie down and perceive my surroundings that followed the ‘flow’ that I had felt and perceived. ‘Don’t force it’. This, I understood, was the Tao that my father had spoken about so highly when I was younger. I experienced the truth of this discipline.

And I also found the perfect song in that moment to explain the truth of our reality and how we are all just refractions of that one point of … light (? I do not know what it was. I barely have the language to describe the crazy multidimensionality and shapes of it all, I could have never imagined anything like this of my own accord). The song is called Shapes in the Sun by Allman Brown.

I haven’t tripped since because I am worried that I don’t want to overwrite this amazing experience. But I may do again someday. In the meantime I have been studying Eckhart Tolle’s teachings, who describes consciousness and ego in great alignment of my own experience, as well as Taoism.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113293
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Jun 21, 2019	Views: 1,889
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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4)