DOSE:

150 - 190 mg

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

Post-MDMA Suicidal Depression

I suffer from resistant and recurrent depression, having dealt with it since I turned 18 forty years ago and went to my first therapist as an adult. I've tried many meds, talk therapy, yoga, meditation....all the usual. Meds would work for a while and then stop.

I read a story about a man's life-changing MDMA experience and how it took away his depression. I latched onto that as my great white whale. I found a trusted guide who had been trained for two years, and had my two journeys in April and June of this year at home [190mg and 150mg]. Set and setting were ideal. I was on no meds or supplements. Both journeys were amazing and I found lasting benefits in dealing with childhood trauma, BUT...I also crashed and burned with severe suicidal depression within two weeks of each journey. My guide says it's probably coincidental, but we now agree that I should not do it again. I don't believe it's coincidental, and want others to be aware of this potential danger.

I am now getting TMS treatment, and it is working, and that's the only reason I'm still alive. I've never hit such a low as I did after my MDMA experiences , and want to let researchers know in case I am one of many. If I can help researchers find a way to stop such a reaction so that others with severe depression can benefit from MDMA, I would be thrilled.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113516
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 58
Published: Dec 4, 2019	Views: 815
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MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Health Problems (27)