DOSE: T+ 0:00	5.4 mg	oral	DOPR	(liquid)
T+ 26:00	0.5 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam
T+ 28:00	0.5 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam

BODY WEIGHT:

74 kg

The following is a report on my first experience with DOPr. It is a fairly long read, because the experience provided by this compound is also a very long one. I added a small summary at the end, for those not interested in all the personal insights and details. I hope this can be a useful reference for anyone having the rare chance of trying this chemical.

Some context:

An interdimensional being of light, to whom I feel infinite gratitude, gifted me with a small amount of DOPr. This is a psychedelic I had been interested in for a long time, since reading its PIHKAL entry , which made it sound really unique and intriguing. Other reasons for my interest were that I usually enjoy long lasting psychedelics, and 2C-P, of which DOPr is the amphetamine analogue, is one of my favorite compounds ever. It was also going to be my first trial with a DOx, which was another reason for excitement. So I had been looking forward to this experience.

The trip was mostly spent inside with my partner, B., who didn’t partake but offered to keep company while she worked on her laptop next to me. I decided to take my dose at around 9 pm. My reasoning was that, since based on reports I expected this trip to last at least 24 hours, I would be skipping one night of sleep anyway. And I preferred to stay up all night tripping and then slowly come down during the day so I could sleep on my normal schedule on the second night. The week following my trip I had several days off because of a national holiday, so I had enough time to recover afterwards. In many senses it was an ideal set and setting.

I had weighted 5.4 mg of DOPr (I work in a lab and have access to very precise analytical scales, so I have a +/-0.2 mg confidence in the dose I took), then dissolved them in a small amount of a juice and drank it. I hadn’t eaten for the last 5 hours before dosing and my tolerance was at baseline (Since my last trip had been a couple of month ago).

The trip itself:

After taking the dose, I sat on a couch next to B., with a small notebook to document the trip and Aphex Twin playing on the background. The come-up took a notably long time. It wasn’t until the first hour that I started feeling an undefined “something”, but it quickly faded into a background feeling, very slowly developing. At the second hour I started getting some hints of color saturation, and a warm, soft, almost sedating sensation started creeping in very gradually. I felt myself slowly entering the psychedelic state.

It took two and a half hours until I felt the first sketches of a headspace. I suddenly became aware of how far inside myself thought can go. My mind felt “wider”. Still, I felt mostly sober, and very calm. Sedation began intensifying, things started taking a dissociated, oneiric distance.

One hour later, at t+ 3.5, I started getting some faint visuals, mostly waving on surfaces. Up until this point I was feeling extremely comfortable, no bodyload at all, but with the waving came some nausea. I laid down on the couch for a bit. Soon I started feeling very cold and almost feverish. The dissociation increased, for a brief moment I felt almost delirious, like in a fever dream. The intensity of the trip augmented continuously, but very slowly.

I would say the peak started at the fourth hour after ingestion. It suddenly became very visual. Looking at the ceiling, patterns were forming and coming out in 3-D structures. Colors were very saturated, and everything adopted warm orange and yellow hues. I still felt nauseous and uncomfortably cold, but less so, and the weird body sensations began to disappear shortly after the peak started. The oneiric undertones of the trip intensified. Allegorical thinking was enhanced. Everything felt full of meaning and my imagination felt like a rich source of metaphors.

Four and a half hours had passed and I suddenly became very conscious of the tension between the “I”, my memories and projections, and the present. It’s so hard living in the present. We get tangled in a million things, the ego gets in the way, memories and expectations always distort the things we experience. And yet, what’s so special about the “right now”, the present, the material reality in front of my eyes? Is it of any value without the idealizing power of the mind? Is there something valuable in pure experience? I wrote this question on my notebook, and as an answer to myself: “Everything. Nothing. The paradox and the absurd is ever present in our experience of being a human being. I would like to hold it all and take everything with me, yet it seems like there’s nothing to take away from anything at all. There’s nothing to take away. The universe is essentially mute. Speech is exclusively human.”

“The paradox” was a rhetoric figure that appeared repeatedly during the trip. I thought about how the very same thing that makes us alive is what makes us die. About how we recognize things as alive only when we recognize their fragility. A condition for being alive is eventually dying. What differentiates a rock and a flower, other than the fact that flowers need nurture and care, otherwise they wither and die? Does it mean that being is always a state of incompleteness? Is being longing? It is always the “nothing”, as an excess and a limit, that gives sense to “something”. My mind was wandering through this kind of thoughts. Contradiction and the tension between opposites became a big part of my internal monologue.

I spent the first hour of the peak writing down, taking notes, feeling very mentally active and trying to process all the information that was being dug from my mind. At the same time I felt calm, not physically stimulated at all. It felt like I was dreaming. And it was a nice dream. I took a look at the timer I had set in my phone to track the progress of the trip. The image of the analogue clock simulated by the mobile was mesmerizing to me. The hands of the clock signaling seconds going by hypnotized me. It felt so fast ! Then so slow ! It wasn’t constant at all ! I watched it spiraling out, and the image was pouring out of the phone screen, or slowly dragging me in. I wrote down: “Lost in the infinite tunnel of time: In each second that passes there is more information than I could process in all of eternity”.

I closed my eyes; complex and colorful images invaded my vision. Suddenly I felt wonderfully aware. Everything felt clear and transparent. I looked around, and it was as if I could see “through” things. “We live playing the fool, voluntarily shutting down our attention”, I said out loud. B. looked at me alarmed: “What do you mean?”.
- “We live in an anesthetized state, in order to function we stop paying attention to a lot of what’s going on, we get trapped in our routines, in our personas, in our unchecked assumptions, and soon we accumulate unattended desires, unattended frustrations, we lose track of what we want and what we need”.
- "But that is necessary to some extent. We can't be conscious of everything all at once, that would fill us with anxiety", said B.
- "Yes, It is a defense mechanism of the ego. But it is easy to rely too much on that confort, and get lost in it".

I was feeling strong psychedelic clarity. That feeling when you look deep into yourself, and no excuses, no fictions get in the way. I started getting an urge to deal with the things I had postponed indefinitely, relegating them as secondary, but which I knew were important. Right then, I felt them in my body. I realized ignored desires slowly become physical needs. I was aching for change, my very own body was demanding things to me that I was not doing. I had been voluntarily choosing to disregard my own demands. This felt like a tough burden. But also an invitation to take better care of myself and my dreams and ambitions. “Awareness is clarity, but it is also pain. The very senses that bring the world to our attention can also make us hurt.”

I meditated about the clarity I was experiencing. It was a strange thing to think about. I was getting “epiphanies” about myself, but at the same time most of what I was thinking about felt obvious. “What is it then, this state?” – I wrote on my small notebook. “Only the adequate attention? What is it right now, that is so clear and patent?”. The idea of attention and awareness became another leitmotif of the trip.

At around the sixth hour I suddenly felt very excited by the idea that everything that exists is an invitation for our intellect to analyze and venture into. Thinking about this, I suddenly felt euphoric and agitated. An immense and optimistic faith in the intellectual capacity of the human race started invading me. Our reason can achieve incredible things, and our intelligence is a trait shared by all the members of our specie. We can learn whatever we want if we pay enough attention! This made me feel very alive, and from this point on the trip took a very romantic tone. Everything I thought about appeared mysterious and inviting.

I was feeling talkative and very mentally sharp. I had some confusion, typical of the psychedelic state, but my mind felt fast and I felt energetic. My partner studies computer science and right then, was next to me writing a program. I looked at her working on it and could notice she was struggling with something. I asked what was challenging her. She tried to explain it to me, and although I don’t know how to program and understand almost nothing of the technical concepts, somehow, I managed to understand the thinking structure that was leading her to mental knots. We talked about it and in between asking questions I was able to offer a perspective that according to her, actually helped overcome some of the obstacles she was running into. All of this was very interesting to me, I felt very engaged by what she was working in. I also loved watching her thinking, I felt fascinated by her concentrated look, my visuals took the form of lines around her head and eyes and it was almost as if I could “see” her brain working. I was feeling increasingly euphoric and mentally stimulated, although not restless at all.

B. went to bed at about t+10. I laid with her for a while, we cuddled and then made love. It was very intimate and intense. The physical sensation wasn’t heightened, but I felt a very strong connection with my partner. Boundaries between our bodies dissolved. It was as if instead of living through my own body, I was experiencing her pleasure. Afterwards, we hugged for a while until B. fell asleep.

I had previously planned to go on a hike at this point but decided against it because I was still tripping relatively hard and the prospect of taking the public transport seemed unappealing. I had also skipped sleep, so it felt like a bad idea. I still decided to go out for a walk through the neighborhood and watch the sunrise outside. At this point visuals had already started to fade away slowly, but the trip had retained that surreal feeling of reverie.

Now, sorry for getting into some literal psychonaut shit. No, really, I’m sorry if this is too much information, but before going out for my walk I went to evacuate my bowels and I was tripping, so some psychedelia permeated the deed. While I sat on the toilet, I felt like I was letting go of a lot of stuff, not in the literal sense, but I got the strong sensation that my body was detoxifying. I thought about how at least a part of what we excrete are dead intestinal cells that shed off when they die and get replaced, so in a sense I felt like I was changing my skin and letting go of my dead previous self. From this point on, the concept of the purge became a central theme of the trip. I felt like I was slowly renewing, in the same sense people feel reborn after an Ayahuasca or San Pedro ceremony. I was changing skin like snakes do.

Going out to the empty streets, watching the sun come out and the day slowly starting to unfold was incredible. I sat in a park next to my place and watched people passing by. Everyone seemed so determined to go wherever they were heading, and that was hilarious and absurd to me. I felt content and at peace. I took a very long walk through the park and reflected upon many things. The question I made myself hours before returned to me: “What is this clarity? What is this state?”. I felt like one of the most important things that allow for the deep introspection that psychedelics catalyze is that when I trip, I stop everything I’m doing, which is something I rarely do. What a luxury it felt, to be wondering aimlessly on a Monday morning, reflecting on myself and life in the big city I live in! I realized that having free time nowadays is a complete privilege, the fact that I can take a day off and have no financial worries, or any type of obligation is a complete blessing. I felt extremely grateful for being able to make this for myself, but at the same time a little bit sad that it is such a rare thing in the agitated life I’ve been having for the past couple of years. Having time for self-reflection is something so important that I don’t want to lose in the madness of daily life.

For a while I wondered if people passing by would think I looked weird or something. It wasn't an anxious thought, but simply a curiosity. I decided no one would pay attention to me, as many people come and go, and no one is exactly a resident of the park I was walking in. I felt sort of protected by this anonymity the big city grants to its inhabitants. I'm no one here, in a way. I looked around and felt like I was a part of the streets I was walking in. I was an insignificant part of the city, I was a part of the park, same as the trees, same as the flowers. I am nothing. For a moment I got the feeling that I was approaching ego death. I was certain that if I were to lay down and let go, I would have completely dissolved into my own mind. But I was functional enough to realize it was not a good idea and it was not the adequate place for that, so I just kept walking and the sensation faded. I looked at my phone and it was t+ 14.00. I wrote down: “Still lost in the infinite tunnel of time”.

I encountered some graffiti and street art in my walk, and it looked so colorful and some of it, incredibly psychedelic. I wondered how many of the people doing it had actually tripped. Protest messages written on the walls felt deep and charged with some sort of simple, street wisdom. For a while I walked absent minded, absorbed by thoughts about social injustice, politics, economy… I grieved for humanity, and I felt a strong sense of compassion for everyone living with a bigger burden than mine. I felt worried but not hopeless. “We can figure all out, if we find our way back to awareness and attention”, I thought.

After a while I decided I wanted some music. I feel pretty stereotypical for my choice, but I put on my headphones, played the new Tool album, that had come out around a week ago. Honestly, even though I had enjoyed the album on previous listens, I had also felt slight disappointed. I liked it because I love Tool and I am happy to have new music from them, but it also felt kinda samey. When I listened to in on my DOPr trip, it made me cry. Scandalously. I had been listening to this band for more than a decade, and their music has so many memories attached. But this was my first opportunity in all these years to listen to their songs “for the first time”. I had to sit down in a bus stop while I cried, it felt so beautiful and I felt so grateful for it. Cars stopped next to me when the traffic light turned red, so I had to cover my face with my hoodie. After a while I managed to straighten myself and kept walking and listened to the whole thing. I still cried again several times throughout the album and felt like a madman walking around with tears running down my face. But it was powerfully cleansing, complete emotional purging. In the small notebook I was carrying I wrote “This is some 'I cried listening to Tool' type of shit”.

When the album ended, I was already nearing home again. I decided to get in. Visuals had mostly faded, but I was still tripping relatively hard. The weird thing was that after more than 12 hours of tripping, the psychedelic headspace sort of turned into a new baseline. I could tell I was altered, but I was feeling mentally clear and mostly functional.

I got in and woke B. We chatted for a while until we were both hungry, so we went out to buy lunch. We ate outside in the park, and I was feeling extremely happy. The feeling of purge and rebirth had intensified in the last hours, and I felt renewed and euphoric, but at the same time very calmed and at peace. I honestly felt like I was having one of the best days of my life. The surreal undertones of the trip had not subsided yet. Hanging out with B. made me realize how in love I’m with her. And I couldn’t stop telling her between joyous laughter and hugs. She was one of the reasons why I felt so at ease. I felt very lucky to be loved in the way she loves me. The love I was feeling was compounded by the warm sensation that was bathing my heart since the peak.

At t+18 I felt like I was already starting to come down, but I could tell it would take a long time. We headed back to my apartment and just chilled for the rest of the afternoon. I was still getting that feeling of excitement and intellectual stimulation. We read and talked for hours about physics, politics, music, ourselves … B. told me she felt like she got a contact high from me, and at times felt like she was tripping too, especially during the night, at the beginning of my peak. She said she could tell the trip had been meaningful to me, and in a way, it was so for her too.

Around twenty hours after dropping the DOPr, I was still tripping, but at this point I was too tired to interact with whatever the drug was doing to my mind and senses. I couldn’t pay attention to the faint visuals, so I just felt like my vision was kinda blurry and defective. I felt wide awake but started to feel really tired by this point. Still, since I felt almost sober, I decided to walk to the supermarket to buy some stuff before it closed for a couple of days due to the national holidays. Uh oh. When in public I realized I was tripping harder than I thought. I felt very confused and almost dissociated. Luckily I had B. with me to help me out. We managed to quickly but the stuff, get out of there and head back home.

At t+23 I took a shower and it felt blissful. I prepared to go to bed, but I realized my pupils were still slightly dilated. I hung out with B. for a while, and at t+26 I took 0.5 mg of clonazepam and went to bed. I fell asleep maybe half an hour later but woke up feeling pretty active shortly after. Since I had to meet with a friend semi-early the next day, I didn’t want to have another sleepless night, so at t+28 I took another 0.5 mg of clonazepam and then had 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

The next day I woke up feeling tired, but not exhausted, which was kind of surprising, all things considered. After a coffee I felt relatively normal. I met my friend at her house, and we went for a short hike. The whole day I had a relaxing afterglow, and even though I was feeling tired I was also feeling refreshed and renewed, in a pretty good mood. This feeling has not faded away at the moment of writing this report, seven days after the trip.

Summary:

I had an extremely pleasant and significant experience with DOPr. Besides maybe 30 minutes of nausea during the come-up, I felt no uncomfortable sides effect whatsoever. It was very visual for the first half of the peak, which lasted from the fourth to maybe the twelfth hour after ingestion. At the eighteenth hour I was clearly approaching come down territory, but it faded away even more gradually than it came up. Through all of it, it retained a surreal quality, things felt distant and oneiric. Total duration was close to 30 hours. At t+26 I still had some remnants of a headspace, and my vision wasn’t exactly normal, even though visuals started disappearing at about t+14.

It was extremely euphoric, not in the empathogenic “this is the best feeling ever” way, but everything felt exciting and inviting. My mood was mostly optimistic and talkative throughout, although feeling very emotionally volatile. Music didn’t sound “better” in the sense that it didn’t feel sharper and more detailed like it does on some psychedelics, but emotional response to music was clearly enhanced.

It was very energetic but not restless or jittery at all. The most prominent aspect was the mental stimulation, my mind felt sharp and intellectual activity was very engaging. I seriously felt like I could have studied after the peak, but I was already tired from missing sleep. It was introspective and almost confronting, but very gently so. It helped me achieve a high level of clarity towards myself and extreme awareness for the things going on in my life. The whole experience was very therapeutic and life affirming.

DOPr put me in that state of understanding where you just can't deflect your attention from things, which coupled with the ego softening psychedelics produce helped me dig deep into myself and question my own assumptions. When you reach this state, you feel disarmed, and you have to build yourself all over again. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable and confronting, but this time I felt like I mostly affirmed what I'm doing and strengthened some of the things I want. I recognized some of the mistakes I’m doing and the things I’m neglecting, but not in a judgmental way. I felt compassionate understanding towards myself and sincere motivation to try to be better. I feel very optimistic. after this trip.

I was satisfied with the dose I took, but I could easily see pushing it a couple of milligrams further. Since it is such a long experience, ideally I would want to avoid underdosing. This one is definitely an ally, and all around a wonderful substance. I feel extremely happy to have had experienced it!

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113626
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Oct 22, 2019	Views: 2,200
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