DOSE:	2 bowls	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)
		oral	Caffeine	(liquid)
		smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

50 kg

I had a fucked up, fucked up childhood and so when my friends started smoking cones at age thirteen, I was all for it. I honestly don't remember if I enjoyed myself or not, I don't think it really hit me for a few years. By the time I was seventeen I had a bit of an eating disorder, a few hang ups about my body, that sort of shit. I was pretty fucking happy alot of the time. I had heaps of friends, alot of boyfriends...that sort of thing.

I'd been avoiding pot for a while. I'd notice I'd green out alot of the time, or get in weird moods where I couldn't talk to anyone. But one day I was at my friend’s house and I was offered a couple of cones. I wasn't in the mood but I said yes anyway. I'm that sort of person.

I had two cones, a few cigarettes, a coffee and a lie down. About a minute after I lay down I knew something was wrong. It was my heart. It was racing so fast that I could feel the vibrations, my hands were shaking, it was missing beats, I stood up and I fell down. Everyone thought it was so funny. I had to crawl to the bathroom with everyone laughing so I could collapse on the tiles and try to shake the feeling.

I was crying in the bathroom. It's hard to describe but I just knew in myself I was dying. I had denounced God years before, and here I was begging, pleading, screaming with God to save me. I was blacking out and coming to and seeing visions of God and the Devil (more like auras than human figures) and neither of them wanted me. I wanted to be with God so I promised him I wouldn't fuck my life up anymore. I said I'd cut off all my hair, stop smoking, swearing, fucking, anything.

After a bit I felt a bit better, still really sick but not on death’s door. A friend came in and offered me a cigarette. I said 'fuck yeah' took a drag, and it all started again. I was sure God was punishing me.

In the end I went to the hospital. My heart beat was 170 or something fucked like that. I stopped seeing my friends. The truth is I have never been the same since. I have an anxiety problem that is so bad that I can barely leave the house.

It's not fair to say marijuana wrecked my life. I have a lengthy history of mental illness in my family. However I hate how people say pot is so harmless. Because for some people it is fucking hell.

It was for me.

If you don't like smoking cones just don’t do it. It doesn’t matter what your friend think it hits some people differently.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 11374
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 25, 2004	Views: 8,797
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Cannabis (1) : Health Problems (27), Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)