Too Much Yet Not Enough
Cannabis
Citation: Verax. "Too Much Yet Not Enough: An Experience with Cannabis (exp113767)". Erowid.org. Apr 11, 2020. erowid.org/exp/113767
DOSE: |
1 cig. | smoked | Cannabis |
BODY WEIGHT: | 65 kg |
Setting: At home, late night/early morning, so it was dark, and everyone else was asleep.
This was some mellow weed, my dealer had called it 'cookie crumble' all I know is that it had a lovely smell of creamy caramel.
A couple of nights ago, I was smoking, as usual, and decided I wanted to smoke more than usual, after all, it was a relaxing indica type strain and it would help me sleep, I thought, so I rolled a very large joint (about 3 times as much as I usually smoke) and began toking. I smoked the whole thing, and later down, preparing for the relaxation as I notice I am already very stoned.
About 5 minutes in, I've surpassed the stoned level and am starting to panic. I sit up, which usually helps, but the feeling builds, it's a feeling like preparing for take off on a plane, with a slight fear of flying.
I sit up, which usually helps, but the feeling builds, it's a feeling like preparing for take off on a plane, with a slight fear of flying.
The pepper has no effect, it always works if I freak out on weed, but at this point I'm beyond the panic level. As the Tinnitus-like tone rises, I enter a new space, I start tripping.
My heart rate was probably close to 200 bpm, my whole body felt devoid of moisture, and normally I'd be worrying for my life, but I was more concerned with losing something else, my mind. My thoughts became louder until almost sounding like external voices, I was fully aware that this was what schizophrenics experience, but I fought off the fear and told myself I just needed to wait it out. So I did.
Every sound had a metallic echo, there's a youtube video called something like "PCP/fairy dust simulator" it was similar to that. I was so confused at the peak of this high, and time was so distorted, that I won't try and recall it linearly but rather document the little I remember. Every thought I had would be repeated in a silly, high pitched voice, and echo. There were visuals. With eyes open, in a lot room, my vision vibrated. I couldn't read because words would move and flow like water. Everything I looked at would breathe and distort somewhat. If I went into the darkness outside my room, I would see weaved patterns of vines or strings that created tessalating diamond patterns of crimson, red, orange and gold, like intricatley detailed lattices or honeycomb patterns. They would pulsar in intensity, for 5 seconds, then fade for the next 5. With eyes closed were also spiralling tunnels of infinite depth, like a purple, constantly expanding and rotating mandala with spiralling blue arms. There were other patterns too, like the geometric spirals one might see on a classical psychedelic. I remember at first they were in my minds eye but seemed to materialise into real, bold, clear as day visuals, the same way they'd form on my LSA trips. Another thing I'd notice is that my memory would be "wiped after every 30 seconds or so, so I'd constantly forget what I was doing.
Anyway, after what felt like 6 hours, but was probably only one or 2, I came down in waves, but when I finally did I was the most stoned I could possibly be, but I felt completely back to baseline compared with what I had just went through, and was able to watch TV, where I saw The prime minister giving an interview on the news, in that state it was extremely grounding to see something mundane and real, despite the fact that he resembles a cartoon character even to a sober mind. I fell asleep to the sound of "Destroyed in seconds" on the TV.
The next day I woke up feeling normal, and glad to have retained my sanity. I was physically drained, but otherwise remarkably clear-headed and calm.
I like to think I handled it well but it was still terrifying, and I feel it's not the place one should aim to get to on cannabis.
Exp Year: 2019 | ExpID: 113767 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 20 | |
Published: Apr 11, 2020 | Views: 780 |
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Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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