DOSE: T+ 0:00	20 mg	oral	2C-B-Fly
T+ 7:00		inhaled	Nitrous Oxide
T+ 8:00	1 glass	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

*** Intention: Dive into a shamanic healing process, focusing on sexual energy and codependence issues. I have 2-CB-FLY pellets from a RC vendor. This is the second time I take the pellets and I am pretty sure I have the substance that I report here.

*** Preparation: Arranging a long music playlist, preparing a place in the room for my process. I choose a place with a mirror and surround it by my plants and some spiritual paintings. I light some candles and burn palo santo and place them nearby. I don't have a trip sitter. I place Coelho's book, an altar and few other inspiring objects. I eat only light food, the last meal at 18:00.

*** Start: Saturday night, 20:00.

*** Comeup:
The comeup is noticable already in 15 minutes. I decide to go deep and exercise shaking meditation with tribal drum music. Soon my shaking morphs into a dance. I grab a shamanic drum and perform a deep tissue massage with its deep sound waves. Then I keep shaking focusing on the pelvic area, asking the Inner Healer to awaken.

*** Peaking:
Within one hour I feel strong effects. My thoughts are seeking pleasure, chasing MDMA-type euphoria. My thoughts suggest re-dosing. I do not follow them, I choose to be fully present in the moment. I feel 2-CB-FLY is opening my system. I undress completely; the skin sensation is very pleasant, body feelings are very nice and gentle. I can feel energies flowing in my body. I am grateful for this substance and thankful for myself arranging this healing time for myself. When an uncomfortable sensation comes, I make sounds, moan, scream or hum. To calm down I practice pranayama breathing. I sit down in front of the mirror and pleasure myself for a while. I am discovering what does my body really enjoy and contrast it with my thoughts. I choose to be real.

Then I sit and meditate, gazing at myself in the mirror. This keeps for almost two hours and feels very healing, in combination with the shamanic music. I dive into my essence. I stand up and shake, but keep on gazing at myself in the mirror. I am repairing the relationship with myself and becoming a friend, a mate and a lover of myself. Sometimes uncomfortable thoughts and memories of the past arise, but my essence is only love. I listen to a powerful chakra meditation and feel my energy centers opening up. The music in the background brings a speech of a spiritual teacher Matt Kahn and I am blown away, gazing at the divinity I see in the mirror. I remember the years of self-hatred and self-loathing and see that fading away. I grab a photo of myself as a kid and reconnect with the true essence in me, which is more powerful than any trauma.

After this meditation I practice some tantric exercises with my breath, circulating energy in the body. I take a few drops of the blue lotus tincture. Compared to the sober state I am much more present in the body and less in the mind. I read some manuals in tantra books and explore the energy flow. I talk to the plants around me and get a strange sensation that I am talking telepathically to my ex-lover. I tell the plant and the lover: I am me and you are you. I am not you, I choose to be my essence. My mind then merges with the psychedelic paintings that are nearby. In one of them there is a goddess and she is healing me with femenine energy. I change the room and open a window for a while and I see the stars. Then I do two nitrous balloons in the bed, I go through a complete reboot.

*** Come-down (3:00 a.m.)
I start to feel more tired and sleepy, but still in a process. I get scared by an uncomfortable sensation in my arm. My thoughts suggest me to panic, that I am getting a degenerative neuro disease. I sit with my pain and meditate, and I realize it's just a muscle pain after exercising. I discover also a contraction in my belly and I give it my presence, it's my trauma memory. Then I masturbate for the last time in front of the mirror. I get some transforming lessons from it.

At 4:00 a.m. I am exhausted and I choose the bed. Knowing I would not fall asleep I watch a Miyazaki's beautiful movie and drink a glass of red wine. At 6:00 a.m. I fall asleep.

*** Aftermath
After some 9 hours of sleep I wake up but I feel very tired the next day. I stay in bed. I see how much work have I done last night and I feel grateful. I definitely enjoy this compound. It has something gentle, like the other phenethylamines. Compared to LSD it feels less forced and it's free from the auditory chatter that I have on LSD. It is somehow less "sweet" than 2-CB, but it is still very much heart-opening, if the setting is right. My experience has been very therapeutic and I learned some lessons for my life.

*** Side-effects
I little nausea and a quiet tinnitus during the peak. ~

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113788
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 36
Published: Nov 20, 2019	Views: 5,184
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Meditation (128), 2C-B-Fly (350) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Personal Preparation (45), Hangover / Days After (46), Sex Discussion (14), General (1), Alone (16)