DOSE: T+ 0:00	15 mg	oral	Pharms - Zolpidem
T+ 0:00	1 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam
T+ 0:00	12 oz	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 0:30	1 hit	vaporized	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

260 lb

I started the day with a small 10-12mg dose. I then moved up to a 30mg dose. In each instance, I took multiple hits late in the experience so that my vape was empty by the time I really blasted off.

I had not intended to blast off fully. I did two hits of a 45mg dose the very first time I utilized this and picked the wrong music. It wasn't bad, but it was rather intense. I've learned to ease up and test the waters more since this experience.

I dosed with 1mg of clonazepam and 15mg of zolpidem approximately 30 minutes prior, as I prepped for my experience. I've found that the clonazepam calms me and the zolpidem gives me a positive sense of well being when mixed with a single beer. This generally keeps me even so that I can safely go to the moon and back without fear.

I'm not completely sure how many hits I took of the 60mg I loaded, but I do know I emptied my lungs and took an extremely long and deep hit, which I held as long as possible (maybe 20 seconds). Prior to blasting off, I started recording audio because I wanted to hear what I'd say. I find it's very difficult to start recording after blasting off because symbols look like an alien language on my phone. On my television screen I had a meditative video with light bass heavy music playing.

Blast off was immediate and rapid. I was completely enveloped by the images on the television screen in front of me and surrounded by floating geometric images that are simply indescribable. I generally avoid closing my eyes, as this is too intense for me.

I keep a very simply piece of artwork in front of me to look at, and I would not call it abstract, but it is primarily a design with simple colors and varying geometric shapes on a wood medium. As every inanimate object around me moved with life (something that occurs every time) I began watching this painting. The colors were much more vivid and seemed to be separating into the constituent paints by LAYER. Additionally, it would move around the medium and I would see slight variations in it. If one were to subscribe to the "many-worlds" interpretation of quantum mechanics, it was truly as if I was seeing various possible ways in which this painting could have been completed.

This "many worlds" interpretation would also explain the movement of various items. They seem to move into slightly different positions, but perhaps I am merely seeing timelines in which they were placed ever so slightly in different positions. Specifically, I have watched my DVD collection before, and they move ever so slightly but don't completely change their space. I feel as if I'm seeing a wave-collapse in multiple different possibilities. I have also looked at my blanket and noticed the waves and folds change slightly without my movement, while I also might lay completely still and feel as if I'm moving. This occurs even at lower doses.

As I watched the painting, I specifically recall cracks forming within the painting and I communicated (me verbally on recording, them not verbally) about the situation I was in. The entities always laugh at me like a child trying to understand something completely beyond their comprehensive abilities. In the recording, I hear myself having a conversation as follows:

"I can't explain, I just don't understand"
*pause, as if I'm getting a response*
"So, I am incapable of understanding. . . why?"
*Pause*
"That makes sense"

A recurring theme in every experience is that I feel my own smile and I feel as if SOMETHING is laughing at me and knows what I've done and that it's beyond my abilities to interpret. In each case, they tell me it's going to be ok.

This is the first time I've kept my eyes open the entire time and the world around me completely collapsed. It felt as if I'd entered an astral plane and completely left the room I was in. Think about "The Upside-Down", in stranger things.

Upon much reflection on many times experimenting, I believe the "entities" are the result of the change in time perception experienced during DMT use. For instance, I feel as if someone is smiling at me, but the fact is that I'm actually smiling at myself. My misperception of time causes me to feel the smile before I can comprehend that the smile is coming from ME. The entities are likely my own thoughts, and yet again I am having thoughts (we all talk to ourselves) that I interpret as coming from someone else because the thought is perceived as arriving BEFORE I am aware I've had the thought. . . so it feels as if someone is talking to me without words. When I hear laughing, it's me laughing at myself for this silly thing I've done to myself, yet it feels like a separate entity is laughing at me.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114199
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 37
Published: Mar 24, 2020	Views: 1,375
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Pharms - Zolpidem (143), Pharms - Clonazepam (125) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)