DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 cig.	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:20	1 line	insufflated	Ketamine
T+ 1:50	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 3:30	3 hits	oral	LSD
T+ 6:30	repeated	vaporized	5-MeO-DMT
T+ 0:00	repeated	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine
T+ 0:00	repeated	insufflated	Ketamine

BODY WEIGHT:

198 lb

Sometime in November of 2019, I had the pleasure of smoking 5-MeO-DMT in a ritual setting with my best friends. The setting was his bedroom in the house he is renting, next to a nice fire, among good, trusted people. We smoked one at a time, while the rest of us remained silent and allowed them to trip. I had the 5MEO in the form of a vape pen; which I had experimented with half a week prior. I did not break through, and I drank a bottle of wine beforehand, which dampened the experience.

The following is my best attempt at reporting the trip (which I had made time stamps and minor notes on, yet never got around to completing until now.)

T+10:00am- I woke up, very sleep deprived from work, and the ketamine I had done the night before. I rolled some joints, packed my things, and head off to the Greyhound station. (My friend lived about 2 hours away, in a small town he was attending college in).

T+10:30am- Smoked a fatty, listening to black metal, while waiting for the bus to my friend’s house. It was some bombastic kush; truly the “sticky icky”. This helped me greatly because I was very hungover.

T+10:45am- Boarded my Greyhound, sat comfortably and waited for the bus to move. Appox. 5 minutes after we departed from the station, I went to the bathroom and ripped a fat line of K.

T+10:50am - Put on the album, Umbras de Barbagia, by Downfall of Nur. Leaned my head to the window, and watched the countryside engulfed in fog and snow. Closing my eyes provided synesthesia type of colours and imagery to the music. It was beautiful, The Ontario snow shining brilliantly despite the grey overcast, and fields full of horses immersed in flowing mist. All the snow was fresh and hanging off every inch of the trees.

T+11:30am - Completely down from the K almost, nearing my destination.

T+12:20pm - Arrive to greet my friends. We smoked some bowls and chatted before dropping off his GF at the Greyhound stop (who also lived away in the same city as me). We then took a cab to the liquor store and bought some wine (cheap red), beer (James Ready) and rum (Kraken).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BACKGROUND INFO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During last summer, I had attended an elite black metal festival, up in the mountains in Austria. My tripping partner (Jacob) attended this festival with me, and I would not have been there if not for him. At the merch table, there was a real practicing, Icelandic witch, who was selling blessed magick teas, “for ritual use only”. These practices and sacred knowledge were passed down through hundreds of generations of her family. I bought this tea, as I was trying to get more in tune with a spiritual side I was unsure of how to access. I brought the tea with me so we could smoke the DMT in a ritual setting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T+2:00pm- We had been catching up, laughing, listening to black metal, and smoking weed up until this point. I met his roommate Paul and his friend Lavandra for the first time. We all got along pretty well, and I put the option on the table for Paul; if he wanted to join us in our tripping he was welcome. He was very curious about the 5-MeO-DMT, and decided to join in. Lavandra was on the fence on whether or not to partake in the ritual. She decided she wanted to, but not on that very same night, and agreed to trip-sit us. I wanted a guaranteed breakthrough... a trip for the ages if you will. Everyone concurred this was the goal. Jacob brought our attention to his acid he had….at which point we dropped acid (3 hits for me – 2 for everyone else).

T+4:00pm- Acid in full effect. I drank some beers while we chilled and listened to music more. We were tripping balls and laughing our ass off. Although I remember at one point we were unsure what to listen to… So Jacob suggested Youkai as a joke…. This is the shittiest grindcore band I ever heard. I could never find their music online, despite knowing of their existence…. but it’s essentially Nazi grindcore themed around lolicon porn. He downloaded it for shits and giggles. I was very intrigued as to what that sort of atrocity would sound like, so we put it on and immediately regret it. I felt my stomach sink in sickening disgust. Paul left the room he was so freaked out… we immediately shut it off and unanimously decided never.the.fuck.again.

It was time to prepare the tea. I forget the combination of herbs it contained, but I remember they all had mild psychoactivity present in them. I remember sage, lavender, and mugwort were the main herbs. This same ritual mix was being mulled into wine for the entirety of the festival we attended. My god, did the mulled wine ever fuck me up; though this method was how the tea had to be prepared - boiled in red wine for 30 minutes .

This tea smelled amazing. We went down to his creepy basement, and made a huge circle of salt on the floor. We began smudging the room with bay leaves in order to cleanse the energy of the space. Burning bay leaves has been used for entheogenic divination by a few cultures. Burning bay leaves is said to banish negativity, communicate wishes to the gods, and even break curses. As we were smudging, we left the ashes and burnt bits of bay leaves in strategic placement around our circle of protection.

T+4:30pm- Ritual commenced; the song we played was Der Einsiedler by Urfaust. We all sat in silence, eyes closed and meditating, as we passing the tea around. Reflecting on life and focusing our energy on what we want to gain from the trip. We all sat in a silent, mutual understanding that this trip will take us beyond anything we can fathom or grasp. That this trip will bring upon us a breath-taking, life changing experience of death and rebirth… something that will break all doors of perception and leave us in a state of divine awe and revelation… Not gunna lie I was extremely nervous at this point.

T+5:00pm- Jacob was very uneasy about taking the pen. The only time he had ego death was a time he smoked salvia and freaked out. Last week when I tried it for the first time, this was also a fear of mine; but hitting the pen on the lowest setting made me immediately feel foolish for thinking I was going to be unsafe. I handed him the pen and he took a threshold dose on the lowest setting. His fear quickly vanished like mine did, and he was ready to break through. His reaction to the mildest effects possible on this tryptamine was like, “…..holy fuck…. It’s so beautiful.” He then took a massive hit on the highest setting. Soon after, almost immediately, he purged vomit into the bucket we were feeding him. As he came down he began crying out of sheer beauty…. I remember he came back and was just sitting there like, “………….WOWWWWW”.

~~~~~Time became irrelevant after this, so there will no longer be time stamps.~~~~

The soundtrack for the entirety of all our trips was Bob Marley. It was my turn, and I hit it as long as I possibly could, and held it in for as long as I could. It started off with my LSD visuals becoming more vivid and 4 dimensional, they then began to blur to the point I was unable to tell the difference between my corporeal form, and the matter that made up the air and room around me… My last thought before blast-off was like, “uh-oh this happening”. It was like I became discombobulated, each atom separated until everything ceased to exist. I had been erased from time. Time had been erased in a way where I realized time is just a construct put forth by our consciousness; every sub-atomic fraction of a second is eternity. Infinity seems like a pretty easy concept to grasp (derp it goes on forever) but to actually be able to experience the incomprehensible vastness of it all it once, is something else entirely. I heard crackling and popping as I was sucked through some form of portal… Then I was shrouded in darkness, the music faded into nothingness, and I died. Yet I was aware of myself, and all that was left was breath-stealing sheer terror. The sort of fear that could make a man drop to his knees, the sort of terror to make atheists cry for god….. BUT then something miraculous happened. As quickly as it came on it stopped. I forgot everything about myself; my life, my tribulations and trepidations, evaporated into nothing. A sudden comfort washed over me. I would liken it to how babies must feel when they immediately stop crying as their mother picks them up and provides solace and safety.

Terror was replaced by the most orgasmic, divine, and holy sensations of love and serenity. Words like “bliss” fall very fucking short as descriptors. This must have been the peak, this euphoria kept increasing to the point that my soul felt like it had a tantric orgasm. I felt like all possible knowledge in the known universe was effortlessly downloaded into my brain… I literally ascended to a higher plane of consciousness and understanding for a brief eternity… everything clicked into place, everything had a purpose…. And then slowly, the beat and bass lines of Bob Marley began fading back into existence. He became closer and louder with every fluctuating bar of music. The darkness around me began manifesting into endless pale colours of green, gold, purple; and otherworldly colours that would be like describing Mozart to someone who was born deaf.

These shapeless hues eventually manifested into a shimmering and glowing gate… this gate resembled a vagina, made of pure serenity; made of the very essence of life itself. The gate before me opened, and blinding light engulfed me… at which point my ego came back. I was still tripping, hard, but I was aware of who I was and where I was. This whole thing maybe was 5 minutes long (wtf) and for the entirety of the trip, I was breathing deeply and moaning on each exhale…. As soon as I realized what had just taken place, it truly felt like I had been reborn; reincarnated back into my own mortal coil.

All my suicidal depression and trauma, and all the weight and burden I had been carrying for my whole life was removed. Causing a sensation of genuine happiness, gratitude, and appreciation for being alive… I was still making these moans on the exhale but they eventually turned into the most hilarious laughter I have ever experienced. Just raw love and comedy was injected into my soul as I proceeded to laugh harder than I have ever laughed in my entire life. This laughter persisted for almost 25 minutes straight until I was drenched in sweat, tears, and drool. At one point my mind remembered a man in Greek history once died of laughter. I couldn’t stop it. I was becoming concerned that I might die, but I didn’t even care if I did; because I knew everything had much deeper meaning than I previously believed, and I knew if I died at that very moment I would die fulfilled, happy, and in love. In love with the world, myself, and everyone I had made connections with along the way. I was stuck in a comical paradox of everything being so profound and important, but at the same time everything just being some humongous joke. I hugged myself the way I deserved to feel hugged for over a decade and calmed down.

At which point Paul came back down and BOY, was he ever ready to trip after hearing me laugh my ass off. He was still somewhat on the fence, and I told him he would regret not doing it for his entire life if he didn’t partake. When he asked me how the trip was I replied, “I have once had an orgasm, and once shot heroin, and that trip was the best feeling thing that has ever happened to me.”

He took some deep breaths and did his dose. Was very silent, lying with his eyes closed for about 6 minutes. At which point he sat up and was like “HOLY FUCK….WOW….JUST WOW….. I need to go upstairs, lie down, and process what just happened.” He sat there in astonishing wonder, said his goodbyes and left to go meditate.

We all hit the pen a few times each, and every single time felt like the absolute most profound thing ever. Every time was the most intense, indescribable feeling of love and divine understanding. Understanding which cannot be explained, fathomed, or figured. Something one can only experience firsthand in order to grasp. This is more than a drug. It is a holy teacher, a sacrament, and food for your soul.

Afterwards we got drunk and did lots of ketamine until very late at night. We then went to bed and I was still hallucinating until 7:30 am.

T+4:20am- We got mega-baked and mega-drunk. I became good friends with Lavandra who was babysitting us all night. Feeding the fire and skipping YouTube ads on the music while we blasted off into the cosmos. At some point prior, we left to get cigarettes in the freezing cold. I remember paying for the stuff in the store was a daunting task when I'm that inebriated, and half in a k-hole. However, we went to bed shortly after. I was still hallucinating like crazy into the daylight.

T+10:30am- I am never able to sleep on acid, however this time I melted into my closed eyed geometry and passed out for 3 hours. When I awoke the sun was shining through the room, and I had a scalding hangover. I got up and drank water and it surprisingly vanished quickly. I realized I had to work at 4pm, and although I could have easily done it. I decided “fuck work” and called in sick. I woke up Jacob to grab my phone from his room… called my boss and made a hilarious story about pissing blood. Fuck my job, I could already picture my coworkers all “how was your day off?” like, how the fuck do I answer to that? Just chilling there, still astonished at my own consciousness… “…it was a good day off…”

One very important thing to note is that despite only having 3 hours of sleep I was full of positive energy. I felt so free and capable, light as a feather and removed from the burdens of time. Eventually we ate food, got really high, and watched a movie. The film was cut short as Jacob and Lavandra had an exam that day. So I waited at the greyhound station and went home. At home I had a tasty nap, and continued to blaze until I passed out. The following day this positive freedom remained, and it remained that way for some time.

Jacob and Paul decided they don’t need to ever do 5-MEO-DMT again. This is quite common with many people I know who have tried it. I believe I require more than one treatment with this medicine; I also find it EXTREMELY recreational on certain doses, yet self-regulating in terms of the pattern of use. I have very clear intentions of breaking through again one day. I still have much to learn from this god molecule; and that pen remains in my room, glistening with glory until it meets my lips again.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114347
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: May 14, 2020	Views: 1,282
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Ritual (129), 5-MeO-DMT (58) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Depression (15), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)