DOSE:

repeated

oral

Benzodiazepines

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

[Erowid Note: The doses described in this report are potentially life threatening. The amount taken is beyond a heavy dose and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Doses such as this have been known to cause hospitalizations and/or deaths. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
When I heard about Etizolam when I was around 14 years old I thought it was too good to be true. A legal "benzo" readily available on the clearnet. Well once I found a steady source when I was 16 it was over from there. The past three years have been full of shady behavior like theft, lying, bizarre blackouts, you name it. I've had two seizures and 3 rehab stints. I lost my first job at 17 because I had a seizure and was flown back to my home state to go to rehab. Other jobs I got agitated and just walked out while on the job (three separate occasions). There's been so many times I've gotten lucky by people having mercy on me to not press charges for stealing things.

Unfortunately I got a theft charge while blacked out on Methylclonazepam last month. I'm currently 19 and have no money saved, no car, no license, basically no possessions. The unfortunate thing is I've been working full time for three years so I should have more to show for it, but the money goes strictly to benzos and rent. My family doesn't trust me because I've stolen things from them while blacked out. That's definitely the worst part of all this. Also I get my RC Benzos in PG form most of the time and about 80% of the time I consume it all at once due to delusions of sobriety. That's at least 100mg Etizolam. 50mg Clonazolam or Flualprazolam, at a time. Basically these drugs have slowed my progress in life down so badly. I have no friends and like I mentioned before my relationship with my family isn't the same. All I look forward to is the next high. I'm really lost in life and don't know what to do anymore. I'm headed nowhere if I continue down this path. I understand more so now how complex addiction is, the shame/guilt and the inevitable suffering we all go through in life will bring me back to using. It's a rabbit hole / slippery slope that just gets worse, like any drug I suppose.

Today I'm going to find out if I get another theft charge or just fired from work for stealing a bottle of vodka while on clonazolam.

Exp Year: 2017-2020	ExpID: 114349
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: May 14, 2020	Views: 2,943
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Etizolam (568), Benzodiazepines (434) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)