DOSE:	0.2 - 1.0 mg	oral	Flunitrazolam
	repeated	oral	Smarts - Phenibut

BODY WEIGHT:

66 kg

I'm right now on day 5 of my horrific withdrawal from Flunitrazolam and I'm only now able to even type anything on the PC. It was horrible but rather quick, today I only feel maybe slightly weird, barely noticable and I'm just glad I survived this.

So to start off, my previous experience of benzo withdrawal was from Clonazepam with alcohol, which was about twice as long as this one. About maybe 2 months ago I made the stupid desicion to buy some RC-Benzos online, including 250mg of Flunitrazolam. I soon ordered 500mg more since I liked it more then the others. I've tried all common prescription benzos plus Flualprazolam, Clonazolam and Flunitrazolam, and the latter one is probably the most addictive benzo I've tried. It also has a potency comparable to LSD. 0.2mg would feel like maybe as strong as 0.8mg of xanax. In the beginning, if I would dose any more then 0.2mg, I would get horrible rebound anxiety about 5 hours after dosing when it was wearing off, so this is extremely powerful.

However, I kept using it, and I tried to "stay safe" by only taking another dose when I felt sober again, which was a huge mistake, since the benzo still isn't out of your system when you feel sober. So I did that a few weeks, maybe a month, during which time my tolerance would go up so much that towards the end I would take maybe 0.8 to 1mg 2 to 3 times a day. It is the most pleasant benzo ever, it feels very similar to xanax, but more euphoric and it lasted about twice as long. I also never blacked out on it, even when taking huge doses like 1mg. I would usually just feel extremely relaxed, happy and very hungry on it, which caused me to gain about 4Kg during that month, but I probably lost these again during the withdrawal. However, over that month I noticed that I would generally get more and more depressed. It seems like regular benzo use increases depression, since I felt that as well during the 35 days I was taking Clonazepam. I would also use it when I was going anywhere, since it just made me feel more carefree and nice then any other benzo. During this time I would notice that I get nausious about 8 to 10 hours after dosing, which was probably already withdrawal. But my rude awakening came last friday.

So it was friday evening and I was just lying in my bed feeling extremely depressed, after that I would suddenly get some anxiety and it dawns on me, this is obviously withdrawal setting in. I was terrified, since my finals were in about a month so I couldn't go to a clinic, so I decided to just not redose and just wait it out. Well I dosed 200ug out of fear I could get a seizure after which I took a shower to calm me somewhat down and then lied down in my bed, at which point the withdrawal was already pretty strong. The 200ug which would be a normal dose did absolutely nothing. This was probably the worst night, within the next few hours my heartrate would rise to about 120, I'd get a strong tinnitus, my whole body would just feel like it was overheating and I felt a strong head pressure. I started seeing crazy open and closed eye visual patterns, almost psychedelic like patterns. I quickly took 3g of Phenibut and 4g of GABA powder to reduce the risk of a seizure. While weighing it out I noticed that my coordination was really bad and I just felt like I was underwater. Surprisingly, I had no tremors at all during the whole withdrawal, but my movements were rather jerky and uncoordinated.

The scariest thing about benzo withdrawal is how it just always keeps changing. Sometimes I would extremely hot and sweaty, then my heart would start racing, my tinnitus sounds would suddenly change and the withdrawal would get weaker and come back again in waves. Sometimes during that night I would feel pretty okay, other times I felt like I would get a seizure at any moment. I would keep my phone next to me thinking about if I should call an ambulance. When I was half asleep thoughts about normal things would seem really distant and weird and I sometimes felt like I was leaving my body for maybe a few seconds. This terrified me, because I read that these were signs that a seizure was about to happen, but I survived that night without a seizure. I just wanted to get though with so I could finish my couse. But I have to say I would NEVER suggest anyone to do this, you can get seizures and die from benzo withdrawals. I surprisingly was also able to sleep for maybe 2 to 3 hours during that night, but this sleep was filled with super vivid and terrifying dreams. I somehow survived to saturday morning, at which the withdrawal was probably at its peak. I just kept dosing 3g of Phenibut every 8 hours just to prevent a seizure, but I wouldn't feel ANYTHING from the Phenibut. I would try to listen to some sleep music, but music was way too loud and I would jump from any sound. Any music I would listen to would also sound extremely sad. I would also have slight audio hallucinations of people talking and sirens going off outside. I just tried to lie in bed in the middle away from any hard objects just in case I would get a seizure.

Getting up and walking felt extremely weird and uncomfortable, my body felt really stiff and my skin on my feet would almost hurt when I was walking almost like I had a sunburn. I would often shower just for 40 minutes just so that the sensation of the water and the sound would cover up the terrifying effects of the withdrawal. But I had to stop because I felt like I was overheating, and cold water would make my heart race even more. At this point I would even get boderline psychotic, at the worst I thought I somehow poisoned my whole family with lead by accident. Some things that barely made me worry on the normal state would make me panic extremely in withdrawal, since it just seemed so real. However I stopped worrying or caring about other things, like COVID-19 or some girl texting me back because all of these things were absolutely irrelevant compared to just getting though the withdrawal. I thought I would give up anything or even cut off one of my fingers if it would make the withdrawal go away. This saturday my brother was visiting and I told him I was in withdrawal just in case I get seizures. I think sunday 1am to 3am was the worst, the withdrawal wasn't getting worse, but I thought I couldn't take it anymore. I felt extremely restless and asked my brother if he could call a doctor or the ambulance while walking like crazy up and down in the room. At about 2am we decided to take a walk and I was just walking extremely fast for about an hour, I couldn't stand still. During this walk I had horrifying thoughts and felt extremely hopeless. I thought if this wouldn't get better soon I had no other options then comitting suicide since I couldn't take any more of it. It felt so real and I was terrified thinking about how my suicide would effect others and that I didn't wanna die yet, I just couldn't take feeling that way.

After the walk at 3am I took 0.5mg of Xanax which didn't do much, but that in combination with the exhaustion from the walk enabled me to sleep a bit during the next night, during which the dreams were somewhat less vivid and terrifying. I also tried to drink something with sugar just to get some energy, but it was extremely difficult to drink anything and pretty much impossible to eat, over the weekend I ate about 2 bananas. During this night the visual hallucinations were much weaker, but I started to have some random jerky body movement about once an hour. My arm would just jerk, or I would even suddenly just say "AH!" for a second and didn't really have control over it. I kept having these jerky movements for about the next 36 hours, which I spend almost exclusively lying in bed and doing nothing, since everything was just extremely overstimulating. I couldn't look at my phone and answer text messaged because I was too anxious to do that. So I just lied in bed, 90% of the time awake and at about 4pm on sunday I felt similar to 3am after I took the xanax. It made me happy that the withdrawal reduced so much in just 13 hours and I got more hopeful I could make it alive.

On monday I could even talk with the other people in my family, even tho it was still very overstimulating and I would just get really anxious and sweaty after 30 minutes and I had to go back to my room again. On the night from monday to tuesday I took 0.75mg of xanax, which surprisingly killed the withdrawal completely for about 5 hours. But I was just annoyed that I wasn't tired and "wasted" these 5 hours without getting any sleep. The withdrawal came back mildly in the morning, at which point it was just annoying. I would just sleep until the late afternoon, still waking up every hour or so but it was much easier to sleep.

Forward to wednesday 3am at which point I'm writing this report I feel almost normal again. I just got a light wave during writing it, but nothing that bothered me. I think I should be pretty much back to normal withing 1 to 2 days, maybe just feeling slightly off for a few days but I'm glad I got through this. I never wanna use benzos again after this experience, I just think they are too addictive for me and I would always lose control over it. I just never wanna experience such a withdrawal or a even worse withdrawal again, and I don't wish such a withdrawal on anyone. I took about 2mg daily towards the end which would probably be like 10mg xanax and consider myself pretty lucky that I didn't have a seizure, since other people report seizured from this particular benzo Flunitrazolam at much lowed doses or even after one use.

And as I said please don't do it like me and go to a clinic or at least taper off. I myself was scared that I would just die from a seizure in my bedroom and this is how my life would end.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114401
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: May 22, 2020	Views: 3,746
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