DOSE:	repeated	oral	Pharms - Gabapentin
	500 mg	oral	Naproxen	(daily)
	500 mg	oral	Smarts - Phenibut	(daily)
		oral	Kratom	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

340 lb

At 11 a.m. Yesterday morning, I had my gabapentin rx in hand. I settled in at home and started staggering the doses - 300mg every 15m, for about an hour - then 300mg an hour for the next few hours. I added a 250mg naproxen sodium to the mix, which enhances and prolongs the effects.

At the time of the initial dose, I was in my normal mood - in pain, testy, just generally mad at the world, angry at everything that moved or made noise around me - you get the idea. I’m not a pleasant person to be around, although I want to be, I just have too much negativity in my brain, and too much wrong with it (and we’ll get to that) for me to process how to be a nice person without letting my pain and anxiety ruin it for me.

After about two hours, I began feeling the effects. The incessant stabbing and crushing pain in my back and leg calmed down, not completely but enough. The equally incessant chatter in my mind stopped.

I spent the remainder of the day staggering doses, 1-2 h apart, 300mg. I noticed I was no longer needing my kratom for either pain, anxiety, or withdrawal symptoms. About 3 pm, I add 500mg of phenibut hcl.

Listening to music, I enjoyed the clarity of mind that Gabapentin brings to me. Something I don’t have, that I assume the majority of people have. Then, at about 8 pm, having maybe eight grams of Gabapentin in me, I go outside - to meditate. You see, to me, this is the most incredible gift I could receive - a clear mind.

It’s why I use it - the pain relief benefits are secondary - the emotional and psychic (the technical meaning) benefits are incredible and I feel it would be of benefit to share these.

I am 39 years old, and I have been a pain patient for about 25 years at this point, and have had two diagnoses of PTSD (that I question, I just don’t think I’ve earned the label). We’ve tried everything from surgery to herbs. Recently, we’ve been trying gabapentin to help, and it seems effective - in higher doses than prescribed. I usually take 10-30 mg oxy or 1-4g kratom (or both if in severe pain). I have never been compliant with my medications - except when I’m non-compliant with the gabapentin. When I take about 2x the amount prescribed (600 q.I.d.), broken in half and spaced out by 15-30m each, something incredible happens.

It’s not a high, and it’s not a low. It’s a steadying of my mind in a way I don’t have the vocabulary to adequately communicate to you. I think I can remember when I used to feel this way, before the PTSD, before the pain ruined my life. I can concentrate on things without an effort of will. There is a flow that I haven’t experienced since I had a seizure behind the wheel (leading to incident 1 of the ‘PTSD’) and subsequent seizures which really wrecked the episodic memory (the “what you’ve done” part) of my mind, did some damage to the semantic memory segment (who you are, what you can do, how to do it), and disturbed my thinking so that I cannot concentrate and get overwhelmed very easily, and shut down. Gabapentin puts a complete stop to that.

I have never been able to meditate. Ever. My mind races from thing to thing, stressing about all I’ve lost in my life, etc… varying ideas pop into my head unbidden and unwelcome. Gabapentin, again, stops this.

I went outside, sat down on my zafu, in the dark of the night, in a wooded area behind my house, closed my eyes, and just let everything drift away. There was the distinct smell of honeysuckle I’ve never noticed before. Nothing else in my mind except my breathing - and that scent of honeysuckle that will probably stay with me forever. I cried. I’m not a crier. I bottle it up, so much stuff has happened to me that the crying and histrionics part of my brain has turned off. But out there, I cried. It was the single most beautiful thing that’s happened to me in my pretty messed-up memory.

I can handle tasks again - I’m able to work on projects without being overwhelmed, like pre-seizure me did. I am calmer, there is a noticeable change in the tone of voice.

I feel like a new dimension has been added to my cognitive processes. I can see things from different perspectives easier, and see the consequences of my actions clearer.

I have also had a sleep disorder since the seizures - nightmares every night with frequent awakenings. Again, gabapentin puts a stop to it. I do get a lot of energy, and (as you can tell by this report) I get chatty. I am normally quiet, introspective and angry. I don’t want to talk to anyone and get annoyed when people are around me. On gabapentin, I can see the error in all that - but I cannot communicate that to the non-gabaergic-intoxicated me. It just doesn’t work. I can’t keep it.

One final thing - Once on gabapentin, I have no urge to overuse my oxycodone. I barely touch the kratom, only with the lacrimation starts do I realize I’m suffering mild w/ds. I am underdosed on my oxy (I recently had a bad fall that increased my pain), which causes me to want to take more oxy than normal. Once again - the gabapentin stops that.

Gabapentin has been the greatest gift to me , and I hope that sharing this may eventually help others suffering similar issues to me. I only wish I could accomplish this magic without overusing my medication. If I had this, I have no doubts in my mind that I could return to work, be successful (a huge burden of mine is not having a job), be more social (another huge problem) and just live life, instead of waiting for and sometimes wishing for death. This chemical change in my brain has shown me a glimpse of a beautiful life, instead of a wasted one.

Unfortunately, this gaba-goodness can’t be prolonged. 3, 4 days max is my record so far... And I have to taper down the medications. I do not want withdrawal from a gabaergic medication, it is dangerous.

[Reported Dose: "gabapentin 8gr over several hours each day, 2 days. Multiple gr of kratom. 500 naproxen per day. 500mg phenibut per day"]

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114415
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 39
Published: May 20, 2020	Views: 1,821
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Pharms - Gabapentin (183) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Medical Use (47), Not Applicable (38)