DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Ketamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

84 lb

I did many drugs prior to this experience, bit nothing compares to this, not even high doses of acid. I thought ketamine is like LSD, but I was wrong. Big time. I started doing small bumps at home in the evening. At first I felt like high on weed, but there was this clinical feeling to it. After fourth line I felt like lying down in bed. Headphones on, time to chill. And then it happened. Suddenly I started to feel like a speck of dust, that falls on a pillow. My room became impossibly large like in a cosmic scale. Wall seemed to be a millions light year away. I started to float into its direction and at the same time melted just to vanish like a drop in a vast ocean. I thought I’m dead, but there was no sadness or fear in me. Just unimaginable tranquility washed over me, like you would be floating in a warm water without any movement. This is how I imagine zen. No worries, no desires, no memories. I couldn’t feel my body. It would either cease to exist or transform into infinite string. Time stopped. There was no before or after. How could be? I was drifting towards cosmic walls, but the time stopped! That was only one of many impossibilities, but none of them felt disturbing. I accepted everything I experienced. That’s when I realized the beauty and the danger of this substance. By comparison MDMA showed me pure love, weed brought me relaxation, cocaine gave confidence, speed gifted me with energy and LSD introduced insane creativity. All of those trips felt like going on holidays to distant lands. I would enjoy them, get tired and come back. This was different. It didn’t feel like visiting another world. It felt like home. Time slowly started to flow. Very slowly. I’ve been drifting so long, it felt like weeks. And then I was again laying in my bed. I can’t describe my confusion. What just happened? What day is this? Are people worried about me? What’s up with my work? I looked at watch standing next to my bed. 73 minutes passed.

That was my first k-hole. Same evening I told my girlfriend how different and dangerous this drug is. I said I won’t do it again. Cut to month later and I came back to this lovecraftian world, that at the same time felt like being in mothers womb. Afterwards I told my girlfriend exactly the same things about Ketamine’s beauty and danger. Then I did two more k-holes in span of few months. Probably it could be more, if she didn’t point out discrepancy between what I say and what I do. This is when I realized I’m getting hooked. I stopped.

Ketamine was the most blissful experience in my life. From time to time I revisit the memory of that experience beyond space and time. And I can feel how it’s calling me. Home.

The author reports insufflating a total of 200 mg throughout the entire experience.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114788
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Sep 21, 2020	Views: 1,209
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Ketamine (31) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)