DOSE:	500 ug	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
	Several joints/cigs	smoked	Cannabis
			Ketamine

BODY WEIGHT:

144 lb

I'm 23 years old and have had vast experience of psychoactive substances, from DMT to meth and everything in between. Early on in my drug taking pursuits around 2014, I was just about coming out of my shell in terms of my social interactions with people. The first night I took a gary (what we call ecstasy tablets in the North), was absolutely life changing. This experience diverged my path in life down several years of 'seshing' (slang for partying) and experimenting with substances with all my mates who I met through the sesh. Once we began to discover psychedelics, they became our instant drug of choice for raves, parties and nights out, we were hooked on the sheer hilarity of these twisted substances. Everything was all sunshine and rainbows for many years whilst experimenting with LSD, mushrooms and DMT. It got to a point where I thought I could use psychedelics in any environment, whilst also safely downloading information from the source of reality.

The date was November 11th 2017, I was 20 at the time. It was the night of a drum & bass/ bassline event at an infamous venue. There were about 10 of us who were going to this rave. We geared ourselves up and consumed the majority of our substances before heading out to the venue. We were wary of the security at the event finding anything on us upon entry, so we thought this was our safest option. I ended up taking 250ug tabs, smoked several joints and had ket on the way to the event.

Throughout the trek, we were all rapidly coming up off the chemicals we'd ingested and it became so intense, that we ended up walking past the event and getting split up. The area we were in was causing us a great deal of paranoia, we were getting a myriad of dodgy looks from passers by. l was with kek and my mate, crosshatch, when I first started to notice the visuals vastly intensify and my ego began to dissolve.

When we rocked up at the queue, each of us got separated within it, and I was left alone to mindfuck myself into oblivion. Whilst queuing up in the dingy alleyway leading up to the dilapidated manor, I started having intense notions of having experienced infinite realities, cycling through them as clear as day in my mind's eye. I began to heavily attach myself to one reality and tamper with the ego death, which was one where kek had been run over by a car. I started to think and talk to myself like this had fully just happened, that kek's head had just been crushed by a car. I began mentioning it to some people with varying reactions.

I was acting like a lunatic. I kept waving my ticket around asking if people knew if it had any information on my friend, who I presumed was dead. When I eventually regrouped with everyone, I was struck with an intense wave of peace, seeing that kek hadn't died was a massive relief, and I did return to a state of sanity for a brief while. Until I became so entranced by the music and dancing that I began to merge with everything again. At this point, the hallucinations started to get immensely surreal and dream-like. I looked at the DJ and perceived his twiddling of the dials on the controller as a paramedic defibrillating someone on a stretcher, they were bleeding out majorly. In fact, all the walls and floor seemed to be bleeding away. It truly felt like reality was unfolding upon itself.

Whilst looking at everyone dancing, I noticed that everybody had a certain aura to them and each of them with a greater aura had a more filled out, fantastical, detailed appearance. This was in contrast to the people who didn't have the same aura going on, they appeared like blank, fully black humans with no facial features almost like an icon for an unlockable character in a video game. It felt as if I was tapping into infinite intelligence and perceiving each person's karmic backlog, each an individual strand of infinite consciousness, experiencing itself and constantly growing and evolving whilst also being one thing and Nothing simultaneously, of which I was as well.

This incredible revelation was met with the most unfortunate outcome. Me and crosshatch walked to another area of the mansion, which was playing some of the most hypnotically bassy drum and bass and bassline tunes I'd ever heard. It was so mesmerising in fact, that I ended up deciding I didn't need my phone anymore and lobbed it across the room. Shortly after this incident, I was started on by this random guy who began to push me about and give me shit for seemingly no reason and people started to defend me whilst I had no clue what was real and what wasn't. This stressful encounter inspired me to get some fresh air.

I walked out of the venue and set about strolling down the long stretch of road outside, taking in all the vivid fractals that divided infinitely in every corner of my vision. I began to have the insight that reality is conscious and interconnected on all levels. That this is what all the world's religions and shamanistic practices have been pointing towards, but the truth is hidden after being distilled by the ego. But despite this, it is all part of infinite consciousness' intelligence and desire to live through itself in every form possible by dreaming up infinite realities, all in a bid to experience and love itself in every imaginable way, even in the most unbelievably twisted manners.

My whole life experiences and interests began to merge with my environment, I saw the refracting triangle off the dark side of the moon extending deep into the abyss of visuals deep beneath my feet. I felt like I was creating my own sandbox video game through my senses. This was coupled with visions of cars and people that began to move in loops back to their previous point over and over again. I tried talking to several people but to no avail, they all spoke back to me in tongues or seemed to be my own consciousness talking through them asking me about where my life and all the things I'd done, that was particularly weird.

At some point during this mind-bending journey, I decided to rid myself of all my clothes, losing my wallet and glasses in the process. I had nothing to hide, for the first time in my life I truly let go. In this dream-like timeless reality I vividly heard all my mates' voices beckoning me back to Antwerp, so I started to sprint. Along the way, a man ran towards me and ended up punching me square in the face, disorienting me big time but also jolting me with adrenaline enough to run across the road, parkouring over cars and walls like some mirror's edge shit.

This happened for what felt like ages, I had some disturbing thoughts that made me start running towards a bus to return back to a stage of formlessness, but thankfully I decided against it. It felt like my ego was so far gone, that death wouldn't be any different from what I was experiencing now. I also remember going into a shop naked and drinking a can of fanta grape whilst being chased around the shop by the cashier. Then after that, I ran into a shisha bar and had a puff on one before darting back out. I had no sense of 'other' and did all this gleefully, completely unaware of how many people I had been exposed to.

I was initially apprehended by this person I assumed to be a beefy old man, but was actually just a masculine appearing police woman, who attempted to grapple me to the ground. I imagined I was getting abducted and this 'guy' was gonna take me back to his and rape me. I managed to slip out of her grasp, wriggling around furiously like a fish out of water. I escaped for a short while and hid in a car park, squatting and zoning out but noticing my ego slowly solidifying again. I looked up and was cuffed by several police officers and taken to the hospital in the back of a van.

I was spoken to by the driver about what I'd been doing to which I answered in bipolar sentences that made no sense and claimed to be on more drugs than I was on. Like a miracle almost, the officers didn't charge me with causing any mishap, but treated me like utter shit instead at the hospital, throwing me around this painfully dull looking room where I sat and slowly began to root myself back in reality. They were also doing this weird thing from before, when it felt like I was having conversations with myself through them about people they would never know that I'd met and things about me only I knew. I boil this down to me becoming so hyper consciousness from the LSD that I became aware that I am this infinite consciousness dreaming the self and reality up. I was an atheist up until this point, how nothing can be infinite and how I am everything and nothing all at once.

It turned out I'd ripped a lot of the skin from my feet from running around on tarmac and pavements for however long I was naked for. I also had a phat black eye from the guy who assaulted me. I couldn't walk at all. My parents ended up getting a knock on their door by the police who informed them of the goings on, they had to come pick me up from the infirmary in the morning. They were livid but mostly happy that I was alive and were especially sympathetic that I had been through such hell. I was on crutches and basically bed bound for 2 weeks due to my messed up feet. Miraculously, these two women who were wired out their heads on mdma got hit by my phone when I lobbed it in the rave, they ended up leaving me a video on my snapchat. My mate gave it back a few days later. To this day, this remains my most intense psychedelic experience and became the foundation for what would become a beautiful understanding of consciousness. If this experience told me anything, it's that reality = a dream.

Peace out.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 114899
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Dec 10, 2023	Views: 20
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