DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 drop	oral	LSD	(edible / food)
T+ 1:00		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:00		oral	Oxycodone
T+ 0:00		oral	Naloxone

BODY WEIGHT:

70 kg

It was a Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten home from a family lunch and was on the couch, chopping a mix (I live alone). I had eaten the last of my MDMA and 2CB-LSD on Friday night, but I was tempted to take my last, glittery, LSD gummy bear. After a quick deliberation I grabbed it and chewed on the vaguely bitter lolly, thinking that it probably wouldn't do too much since I still had stuff in my system from Friday.

Scrolling through youtube and watching videos, not much was happening at the hour mark. I punched a few cones to bring it on a bit and, shortly after, the trip began to come on. Well, not a trip so much as an experience.

The first thing I really felt strongly was the waves running through my body, beautiful vibrations seemingly coming from a narrow point inside and flaring out. Switching my system over to Spotify, I threw on a playlist and began to lose myself in the music. The rise in my chest was centred by the lightness of my entire being, as if I was phasing in and out. When I closed my eyes, shapes and patterns and the usual geometric tunnel that I often see sprung to life, pulling me deeper into the trip - I was having a great time.

This is the bit that makes it worth me telling. As I went deeper into the space, and my closed-eye visuals became more intense, I slowly began to arch my back and spread my limbs as far as I could, the tension of just stretching a liittle too far pulsating nicely through my body. I wasn't really aware I was doing it, but I wouldn't say I was unaware either. I was just more focused on the euphoria, and following the tunnel beneath my eyelids. As I arched, though, I began to feel this fiery energy in my core that was incredibly empowering. It felt alive, and this energy was slowly, slowly, beginning to radiate out of me. The more I arched, the wider the ball seemed to get - and then I noticed something odd.

As weird as it sounds, it felt like, growing in my belly, was a vagina. As I stretched, it grew and opened, like a flower blooming. As it did the fire flared and, as my arch reached its apex, seemed to spread right across my body in a surge of heat. I recall it seemed to feel like it was going outwards also. I was really peaking by this point, so my memory gets a tad fragmented.

Some time later, after laying and radiating with this pulsating energy, I began to come back into my body. My neck was sore, and I was very fatigued - although my mind began to race. I started tensing up and, seeing the direction I was heading, decided to go and have a shower. After getting distracted with household chores and various other things I washed myself clean to complete what I was now starting to understand as something of a rebirthing ritual. The shower was amazing. I laughed at the similarity to the Christian/Catholic process of baptism, being an "other" myself - funny, how everything is just a different way of saying the same phrase, of telling the same story. I reflected, and had a minor eureka, on my motives for having tattoos: having struggled significantly with self-harm and self-care throughout life, having beautiful artwork on my skin, that also tells a story and marks a time in my life, makes me appreciate my body. Makes me clean the temple. Makes me care. I reflected on the duality of this, and how I am both at the same time.

Then things got a bit janky. I became very cold and tense, and my neck and back pain was getting more and more full on. I took a few targin (oxycodone) to take the edge off and parked myself in my computer chair with a cuppa and a blanket to watch tv. I laughed at how noble reality tv pretends to be and, though with a LOT of pain, eventually managed to loosen my muscles.

It was a bit of a height to fall from, but not as bad as I'd expected, and I spent a lot of time reflecting on my experience over the next few days. Obviously there are a LOT more details to this experience but, for the sake of brevity and being my first submission, I chose to focus on the main lesson I managed to extract: the cycle. This trip, unexpectedly, served as a much needed reminder of the samsara: the endless knot: ouroborous: life and death. Life and rebirth. For all my experiences, I never thought I'd say I had a vagina on my stomach - but now I can.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115013
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Dec 25, 2020	Views: 837
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2), Yoga / Bodywork (202) : General (1), Alone (16)