DOSE:	50 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(fresh)
	7 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

The purpose of these two reports and the concluding analysis is to describe the common experience of christification and feelings of being a savior, yet also feelings of unpardonable sin, often relating to sex or unearned divine knowledge. I am a taxpayer in my town, I am a member of my church, I am a sikh of my gurdwara, I am an individual of my community, I am a unit of my family. I am the savior of my self. My actions influence the entire world through the butterfly effect.

Similarly, the skin cells of our fingers are a part of our hand, a part of our body, a part of the skin organ. Our body is part of the elements, part of space, part of the earth. I am part of everything to a lesser or greater degree, and everything is part of me. And it is all inherently no thing at the core. And the same is true of everyone else.

REPORT 1:

1:30am: 50 g fresh. No visuals, only mushroom feelings and little bleep blops of mushroom sounds. Telling me what’s wrong: attachment to lust and food. Listen to Estas Tonne. Try to rest. Cars, airplanes…

Eventually I intuitively know it’s time to move to the living room. Meditate? Lay down. Cold. Wear snowsuit. Chant with Paramahansa Yogananda’s Scientific Healing Affirmations, then I lie down uncomfortably as scripture memory songs play.

Toss and turn. Cars, airplanes, lights, noise. Pray for rest. Focus on the hearing, hear background silence. Eventually I get into the rhythm of nature. I get some rest, then the cycle of morning begins. I feel energy flow through my body in a pattern.

Ajeet Kaur Mix comes on. Meditating with arms behind head (very relaxing position). Then I lie with left leg out, right leg slightly bent. I allow the spirit to move through my body instead of doing what the mind thinks it should do. I end up in this position, focusing on the circulation of my breath. I feel liquid collecting in my throat (vishuddhi) and I feel my bowels moving. It feels like I am multidimensional and I’m moving through the dimensions, the poop is moving through the bowels, the breath is in harmony with this pattern.

As I circulate this pattern I begin to think this must be the circulation of the elixir (internal alchemy). Each circuit takes maybe five minutes. I don’t count how many circulations I do. At around six I think it must be done soon but no, it continues, as does the music.

My head and heel burn. For two hours I lie in this position, each circulation feels similar but slightly different. Sometimes like a king’s crown, another time strong stone, another time haggardly wood, another time jewels. It’s like I’m growing a thicker skin each circulation.

My eyes are loosely fixed to a point which moves. Everything is not “perfect;” some slight variations are allowed. Sometimes I feel the sinuses open at the same time (so that each nostril inhales the same amount of air, rather than one more than the other), and I wonder if I will get equal breath where I no longer need to breathe.

Left elbow begins to hurt. Pain in head and heel continues strongly as if pressure sores are beginning. Is that possible, so quickly? I would be scared if I hadn’t read so much about this (Taoist texts), if I didn’t know for sure it was a spiritual transformation.

The tears moisten my eyes. I feel taller with each circulation, like a 3D printer is flushing out the old and printing new layers on my body. The pattern is a torus (or a figure 8 on its side-- infinity-- from a 2D perspective) going around, down into my head. I will have a caved in place in my head after this.

The fluid in my throat is creating a penis with ejaculate inside. One of the circulations is marriage, through the pattern of crying tears of joy when being asked to engage, then the ring going onto the finger (I can never regress below this point again). Consummation. Eyes release tears which is sexual secretion. Eyes close briefly, as a kiss or a union of male and female.

Visions of everyone I know aging in reverse. We are in the dimension where they are at their prime. All of us are in young adult bodies. I am so grateful to be shifting myself and everyone I know into a heavenly timeline that just keeps on getting better and better. D’s parrot is saying things and making noise in rhythm with the music. I am so grateful for all the people (all my relations) who have worked together to get me to this point in my evolution. I desire to offer this to everyone! I imagine I will have superpowers. I imagine I am shedding my skin. The food in my bowels feels like a baby which I will birth.

Once the two hour album ends, more scripture memory songs play. I start to move. I gulp the saliva which accumulated in my mouth and throat, as in swallowing the saliva. Oh what? This all is real? Or is it? I stumble around and get my bearings. Was that all significant? Either way, I release attachment to food and lust, and I continue developing focus on the ever present background silence.

The next day I attain a similar result during meditation, albeit not as profound/strong. Good! I can develop this!!

Next experience is about 3 weeks later: 1 day before, I have a wet dream including mom and D. A’s wife (neither of whom I am consciously attracted to in the slightest), plus some other people, overall leaving me disgusted and feeling dirty. Did I have an option to avoid it? Probably. How may I change?

REPORT 2:

3:00 a.m. 7g dry. Good aya-like beginning. Get into higher states through concentration/ focus and purity. Descend upon sexual thoughts arising. The experience becomes difficult eventually. Everything turns slightly wrong. Dysphoria begins slowly. I slowly lose it.

Try to sleep, chant, sing. Nothing helps. Go to bedroom eventually. Lying on bed, being yin/ yang. Each time I trip I use up my virtue and now I am in overtime. Started with the possibility of good things, then the possibility of mediocrity, and that is now gone. I am having a hard time so I try to call in psychic help but my connections are so strained. I almost call in girls from the boys and girls club who are 8-12 years old, but I stop myself. What is this? No, I'm not calling 8-12 year old girls who I barely even know. Why would that idea even come into my mind? But I call everyone else and they turn their backs on me in shame. I have used up all my karma.

My virtue is now at the point where I have very few chances to get somewhere good and I am very far away from nirvana even though it is naturally right here now. I see the cycle that I thought was good last time (the 50 g fresh report) from a larger perspective, and it was just a small upward blip in an overall negative trajectory. I am part of a huge wheel of consciousness and each time I trip, the clouds come into my part more frequently and God gives me fewer chances for rebound slower, fewer, and farther in between.

I see health problems in my future. I am draining my vitality. I must go through hell. It will be long, I will forget all, but eventually it will be over. I turn this way and that, writhing in agony, trying to stay alive because death will only take me that much farther down. I contemplate going out to the wilderness to meditate the rest of my life, fast, wither, and die. But then people will have to clean up my van and the karma I’ve created in this community. There is no way out but in. I hold onto the hope that there will be a glimmer of light. I hope for an easy way out, that I may seize an opportunity when it is presented.

I see death, old age. I am old. My mouth is dry like sandpaper. My saliva has turned to dry slightly damp curdles. It is withering. My breath is pure dry air. I am an old man. Duality of on/ off, yin/ yang begins switching back and forth. This represents God masturbating in the form of a male and female copulating, where really they are two parts of a whole as is the hand and the genital. There is constant extreme fear. Fear of rape, beating, sodomy. The darkness is all around me.

Now I am barely conscious. I have the chance. It has something to do with my mom’s marriage, sexuality, Torah observance. I, as I have experienced at least two times before, become my mom. Writhing in the “dark” chaos of the universe, trying to do what is “right.” I wake up swallowing, saliva? Air? And whispering “I am Torah observant.” I observe my body as a transcendent interdimensional torus. At some point I achieve equalization of breath. I hold the breath for an unknown amount of time. I don’t need to breathe anymore.

I am barely making it on this salvation cycle. I was the last one, waiting for b, my soul mate who I love, yet who disgusts me. Eventually I become the triangle of agony and orgasm (as experienced before). These are what I imagine to be the most uncomfortable feelings all at once possible. I release the breath hold, while dry heaving, pulling saliva up my spine, and farting. Thankfully I don’t pee or poop this time.

My arms and legs flail into a triangle and my body thrashes to the nightstand as I end up orgasming in agony and dysphoria in the corner between two walls, on top of the night stand. I slowly awaken again and realize this has to do with Harry Potter. I am Harry Potter. I had to say I am Torah observant, and for my situation now I can embody my full self as Harry Potter. The elderly female witch is saying something, and I am awakening to save humanity. The cars going down the street recede as I get into the pattern of body movement. It’s a cycle, and I recognize it and transcend it. I enter into divine marriage with my soulmate on various levels. Hermoine Granger, b, my mom, and my high school crush, L. I am observing Torah through my interdimensional body. My body is a torus through my head to my anus.

Around this point I begin swallowing saliva/ air intensely. I don’t know how many times I swallow, but I feel my inner sinuses connected in some special way, and I feel a few inches taller from whatever is building up in my throat. I don’t need to breathe. I hold my breath.

In addition to the Harry Potter idea, I experience my mom and future stepdad as being married. Eventually I come down more and realize nothing is different. I destroyed the room and here I am. Thankfully only one thing is actually broken: a handle to a basket.

A compost pile starts out with delicious food, friendly neighbors, earth, gods, and all kinds of novelties. And it ends with the hatching of the eggs, the sustenance of life, the rich fertility of dui, lake (I-ching). The compost pile is a harmonious gestalt of hundreds of thousands of different types of life. It is warm, it is healthy, it is home.

The compost pile is.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115268
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Aug 14, 2025	Views: Not Supported
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Meditation (128), Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Sex Discussion (14), Music Discussion (22), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), Preparation / Recipes (30)