DOSE:		smoked	Pharms - Fentanyl
			Oxycodone
		oral	Methadone
		oral	GHB

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

My first experience of an opiate was heroin in my early twenties. I was already an alcoholic and frequent cannabis user when I came upon heroin. I was not wanting or had an inkling of desire to make that leap into the most taboo of all drugs. Heroin in the early nineties in Dubai like the rest of the world was the most castigated drug of all the drugs at the time, like fentanyl today. There was no stronger drug or more reviled drug at that time, it was by far the most expensive and deadly if not careful. Today fentanyl is about 10 times stronger yet 1/5th of the price, hence the accessibility and the high number of fatalities.

I was a single parent of a happy little 9 yr old girl, and it was summer of 2017. I was looking for a suitable place to move us to in Toronto, my daughter was in Ottawa for summer holidays with her Aunt. It was a week before labor weekend and I was driving incessantly between work and looking for a place for us, and was limited in funds in what I could get. We were living in studio basements since Children’s Aid Society gave me temporary custody as my wife had a bout of mid-life crisis coupled with an alcohol bender that has lasted 2 yrs at the time. No child support from her. I have a criminal record that really limited my possibilities to function properly as a single parent. CAS, family court and the pressures of looking after a beautiful little girl with very limiting paths to choose from. I had no medical insurance and so our dental costs for both of us was out of reach with the money I had. So my teeth starting crumbling and falling apart as my daughters teeth were priority. I hated my life for not being able to provide as a parent should. I used in my head a reason for why it was okay to take pain killers like perks, oxys, dilauds, opium and heroin to relieve me of the pain of my teeth. I had 4 teeth drilled holes in for root canals with only one tooth capped but not crowned, the others were open holes, and I delayed in fixing them due to money, promising myself that I will fix them soon. Soon never came and over the next year my teeth were just falling apart.

I have done opiates on and off for over 25 yrs, I’m 49, and have had probably over 30 hardcore withdrawals in the most varied possible outcomes of gettin’ off. I believe that I am extremely lucky to have exercised and conditioned myself with smaller opiates before fentanyl, as I already had a deep understanding of opiate addiction, withdrawals and cessation. Many will say well then you are a lifer and have never really been cured. I like to think of myself as a ‘systems buster’. I am here to bust this system up. This fetty crap needs to be antidote’d.

Here is the good news, I don’t have to re-invent the wheel, all the tools to get off in 9 days to 15 days are available. 9 to 15 days, are you fucked?! Thats the critical cessation of all opioids. After that it is a 3 to 6 month nutritional and physical regimens to get back to optimum and balanced levels spiritually, mentally and physically.

The 1st time I was 12months plus, half gram every 12 hrs, 6000 bucks a month...It took me by surprise, it caught my ass, shriveled me up and spate me out broken almost. Btw, I don’t sniff it or smash it. Safest way, if there really is a safe way, is chasing the dragon, the trade off is that the withdrawal is worse from smoking then smashing and sniffing. I brought my dose of methadone to 120ml daily and my fetty dose to a point a day, and it was the only time I sniffed it, in extreme small bumps, from a point I would get 6 bumps. It was pure luck to rock me off my boat without death or jail. When I got off I felt like Rocky at the top off the steps with fists raised while training for the fight, tears streaming hard down my cheeks, I fucking got out and never doing that shit ever again. I was battered, lost my family, friends, car, job but still had my life. All good. Need to work this karma back up. Was with doctor for 6 months coming down from 120ml methadone.

The 2nd time. WTF! Didn’t you say “no fucking way goin’ back” shit! Yeah, for a year I was going good, no fetty! And suddenly, my dad died, and my brother also broke with his girlfriend and found himself in the shelter system of TO. He started sporadically chasing the dragon with her before the breakup, so he was primed for the system. Covid happened and so he started getting what I call govt CuRB of 900 every 2 weeks plus welfare 900/monthly plus room and board. I call it govt funded genocide. Giving addict 2700 dollars a month. Crazy bat shit!!

Anyways, I was chopping weed, black, white, k, water and shrooms, and so managed to barter and trade other substances for black market methadone 5 bottles of 50ml, cost me a dollar a ml. I sourced these over the year before I got hooked btw. Very hard for you to part with cash for fetty and future curables to help to get off. I also sourced 200 3.5mg percocets and endocets, TEC’s, perks at 3.50 a perk. When I amassed this arsenal, it wasn’t for myself. It was meds for my bro to get off. Well he came, he heard me out, I flashed the meds, and he robbed me of 1k of the other stuff. His answer was “how do you know that will work? Did you do it?”. Thought and pondered his answer for days...He was right, I didn’t know for sure.

So I got a ball of purp, and took me a couple weeks to smoke it to the point I was chasin’ every 2hrs at work, and from then on every 2 hrs, the 2nd ball took me a week, so did the 3rd. Okay I was good and hooked. I shouldn’t have been driving during this period but had a job on a crossdock as a forklift loader for a decent company, so I drove not only car but forklift for at least 12 hrs a day. Yes I had many very lucky mishaps. Nothing fatal or more than bumper fender benders and speeding tickets tho. My car insurance is shot right now. Anyways, so I went to a doc and pissed in his cup, he gave me a script of 30 ml methadone as the max starting dose. This is where the system is broken. 30ml does diddly!! That is like a couple hrs relief, at best 4-8 hrs for a .5 gr a day fentanyl user. For a perk or oxy addiction in a naive opioid user 30 ml of methadone plenty enough, and the system is geared for these other smaller opioids like opium, perks, tylenol 4, dilauds, oxy’s, morphine, even heroine. But for fentanyl its a drop in the bucket to fight such a strong opioid.

Its why I amassed the arsenal, so I drank the 30ml/3mg from the doc, I started on a long wknd luckily too. Saw him thursday. About 5 hrs after started feeling the pangs and twitches, hard to move, can’t shower, feeling cold hot sweats a coming...eat 5 perks, half hr later another 3perks. Why perks? Substitution! We have to transition of off fetty, we do that with the perks, the methadone that is in our arsenal, at near 12 hrs we drank the 50ml , our 1st of 5. Why 5? Because I am in my forties, takes longer to heal hence longer withdrawal, at 25 yrs of age I would only need 3 bottles. The 2 big shits usually signify the end of the opiate.

Ok back to the schedule, manage sleep and wake in sweat couple hrs later, eat 5 perks, Friday appears, get up go get 30 ml from the pharmacy. Gobble another 5perks just because I want to. This is the fetty addiction substitution and ate another 5 perks an hour later. Feeling fine, go to work, somehow manage around lunch drink the 2nd 50ml/5mg methadone. Get no sleep, pangs of twitches as the light comes up gobble 10 perks. To the pharmacy for my 3rd 30ml/3mg methadone dose. Again, after 6 hrs start feeling it. Gobble 10 perks. 12 hrs since the 30 ml I drink my 3rd 50ml/mg bottle, same for Sunday and Monday, until my final methadone 50ml/5mg bottle. From here on in for next five days eat only the perks, now I am addicted to only perks. Quite a bout, but I stay disciplined now as I have already defeated the beast, fetty. Now to get all opioids out. So the 5th day of just perks should leave at worst done of all at extreme case and with 60 left like I did out of 200, not bad eh. Anyways, on the Saturday morning I go piss in doc cup and he has to start me again at the minimum starting dose of 30ml/3mg of methadone. For next 5 doses in the next 5 days I only drink the methadone, and drop the perks. 30ml/3mg methadone is enough to squash the perk addiction. Wednesday will be my 5th and last drink of 30ml. The next day I am off perks and at the cusp of getting caught by methadone. Hence FREE AT LAST!!!

Another 5-7 days for the methadone to be gone from my system, but because it hadn’t grabbed my ass yet there is no withdrawal in days after last methadone dose. I call this method “The substitution method”. Its transitioning much faster than the current methods employed by the medicine industry. 9 day cycle at 3 3 3 days, and 5 5 5 days for 15 days.

I use sodium oxybate/GHB to complement the 15 days I did, it was tough forcing the sodium tasting stuff done but must be done with orange juice. This speeds up the healing process and enhances mood through tough times, also when I od on ghb it puts me to sleep for 4 hrs rem sleep, quite remarkable tool. I used up a 500 ml bottle for next 2 months into the 3 to 6 month nutrition period.

This is how I got out and ended fetty.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115918
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 47
Published: Dec 20, 2021	Views: 1,820
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Methadone (166), GHB (25), Pharms - Fentanyl (223), Oxycodone (176) : Various (28), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)