DOSE:	2 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(capsule)
	15 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(sclerotia)

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

I have taken part in approximately 70 highish (depends on your definition I know) dose psychedelic ceremonies in the last 3 years about 30 of which were group Ayahuasca ceremonies and about 40 Psilocybin ceremonies by myself oh yeah and 1 group Iboga ceremony.

Since I started my psychedelic journey a recurring message has always been that I am a messenger and that I have a role to play. I never really understood what this meant until 5 weeks ago where I was part of a 9 day intensive training course on how to be a psychedelic facilitator.

On this particular trip I had taken 2 grams of powdered Syrian Rue in capsules and 15 grams of Golden Teacher Truffles.

About 40 mins in as I was lying down eyes closed wondering what was in store for me, my body suddenly bolted upright. Alright I thought “that’s a bit odd maybe I’m going to purge”. You know how sometimes your body tells you to prepare to puke the demons from your body. But after a few mins of sitting upright I didn’t feel the need to vomit.

I’m normally very connected with music and when I take psychedelics I’m especially connected. I paid attention to a song that was being played and started to move my arms in time to the rhythm. It was a very uptempo song and my arms started moving faster and faster. I was startled to realise that I was no longer in charge of my arms they were moving at breakneck speed by themselves. This continued for about a minute or so and then I received an insight/message that what had just occurred was an invocation.

When the song finished my arms stop moving and I lay back down. I was totally confused by what had just happened but knew someone/something not of this world was communicating with me… i.e. what I now believe to be the spirits of the mushrooms.

After about 15 minutes of lying down my body suddenly bolted upright again. I felt the urge to move both my arms up and down. As soon as I did this motion my body was indicating to me that I needed to do this up and downwards motion with my arms faster, and faster and faster . At this point again I was no longer performing this action. It was happening so fast and so vigorously that my whole body was now bouncing off the ground. Sometimes I would stop this motion but as soon as I did my body would pull back into this movement and as soon as I started it again my arms would move faster and faster until I was no longer in control of them. Once the song ended the convulsions of my arms and body stopped.

This happened another 3 times in the space of about an hour. After that I received messages that I was going to be used as a messenger and that the convulsing of my arms was a signal that I needed to pay attention as a message was going to be delivered.

On this particular ceremony I found that I could tune into the frequency of the music. They kept telling me to “go inside the music”. I did this on 3 separate occasions after being signalled that the next song to be played was a song I could/should tune into. When I did it was revealed to me the underlying message of that song.

In fact the whole trip was playing out as an instruction manual for how they (I assume them to be spirits of the mushrooms) were going to signal to me when they need me to pay attention as a message would be delivered shortly.

A couple of hours in I went to the bathroom and afterwards as I always do ( as part of my process) I look at myself in the mirror. But really look into my soul to see if I’m happy with the person staring back at me. I was gazing deep into my eyes when I could that there was a movement behind my eyes. Someone/thing had swapped with my reflection and was now looking back at me through my eyes in the mirror. I understood this was happening as another signal that the spirits were showing me that they are looking at me and they see me.

The body convulsions kept happening for another 3-4 hours until I was getting comfortable with how the process would work.

At a later stage my body again bolted upright but this time to a standing position. My head then of its own accord bowed down and I was staring at my feet. I understood that I needed to keep looking down. What’s down there I said to myself, come up it’s ok. Then my both of my hands started moving again of their own accord and kept moving up and down but in a smaller less violent motion than before. I realised that they were moving in a gesturing motion. They were telling me to summon something up from the deep. I kept my head bowed and my hands gesturing and said to whatever was down there to come up not to be afraid. I said to whatever it was that I can see you and hear you that it’s ok. I realised that I was taking to my fear. In life I’ve always been held back by my fears and quite often found its presence overwhelming. I was expecting to see some huge frightening presence but what I was was a tiny furry shadow like creature who was terrified.

I would catch a glimpse of it and then it would recoil back into the shadows of this deep dark well I was looking down. I said to my fear not to be scared…. But of course it was scared… it’s Fear. But it wouldn’t come up…. Then I asked it what it was frightened of. It didn’t tell me but the fact that I have seen my Fear and spoken to it and told it that I can hear it and I feel it inside of me has subsequently helped me manage on a day to day basis. I no longer see it was this huge dark monster but a tiny little rabbit-like creature.

That’s a summary of what happened the first of three recent psychedelic trips. The other two were similar in terms of parts of my body moving frantically without my doing signalling to me that I need to pay attention that I was going to be addressed by the spirits very soon.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 116011
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 18, 2022	Views: 690
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), Syrian Rue (45) : Therapeutic Session / Clinic (55), Entities / Beings (37), General (1)