Fear and Anxiety Escalated
DMT
Citation: Trippin in Kuopiyo. "Fear and Anxiety Escalated: An Experience with DMT (exp116014)". Erowid.org. Jan 26, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116014
DOSE: |
1 hit | smoked | DMT |
2 hits | smoked | DMT | |
6 - 7 hits | smoked | DMT |
BODY WEIGHT: | 80 kg |
DMT in (pure crystal form) is highly difficult to come by where we are from. Finally, we got lucky. We managed to secure a gram of the stuff.
I was more experienced in psychedelics than my friend, who was going to be tripping with me. We had both done shrooms, LSD, MDMA mostly. Smoked lots of weed too etc. But I had done so somewhat more. I was really excited and looking forward to trip. My friend seemed somewhat anxious.
It was fall. It was dark outside. A friday night after work in Nordic Europe. My friend came to pick me up from my apartment. At his studio apartment we would smoke tonight. We decided to start at low doses and do rotations, one guy tripping and one guy tripsitting, then do a switch etc.
We decided to start at low doses and do rotations, one guy tripping and one guy tripsitting, then do a switch etc.
So we started. It turned out, our scale was too shitty or broken, and unable to measure DMT crystals accurately. In the hindsight, we should have prepared by buying a more accurate scale. We decided, fuck it, and decided to eyeball it (a big mistake, please don't do this).
We eyeballed a very low amount of DMT to a glass freebase pipe. I went first, sat on the couch and took a puff. I really didn't know what to expect, so we waited for a while. I got a slight color enhancement, but didn't really feel anything other than that. We reloaded our pipe and my friend had a go. He also didn't notice anything too interesting, other than color enhancement.
We decided to up the ante and loaded about 2x more than earlier. We also decided that it would be better to smoke while sitting on my friend's bed and when the trip starts, just lie down. I went first. Took a couple of hits and laid down on the bed. I closed my eyes and saw LSD-ish visuals, but they seemed more 3D or 4D in movement, if that makes any sense. I still somehow felt underwhelmed by the experience. My friend smoked after me and also reported seeing similar shapes.
Then I said fuck it, I wanted to have a true breakthrough experience. I told my friend to load the pipe with about 3x more DMT than earlier (6x+ more than the initial dose) Keep in mind there was still some DMT in the pipe from earlier. I told my friend to shut all the lights and leave the room when I hand him the pipe.
I took maybe 6-7 pretty big hits from the pipe. During the last 2 hits, my reality started to seriously shatter. Everything started warping and colors started becoming so bright, it was like someone was pointing 1000 different color flashlights straight at my face. With my last grasp of reality, I saw my friend taking the pipe from my hands. At this time, my perception of time was getting really fucked up. I saw my friend sitting right next to me, then I saw an image of him walking to the bathroom (leaving the room like I told him), then I saw him at the bathroom door looking at me. Suddenly, he teleported back next to me and switched between these three positions for some time. This all happened in a matter of seconds. Then he shut down the lights and I was blasted into space and lost all contact with reality. I saw amazing colors and impossible patterns. It's like I didn't exist. This lasted for an X amount of time. Then I saw familiar places. Real life places I had recently been to. For example, my friend's balcony, where we smoked cigarettes earlier. Then I saw myself outside of my friend's apartment. I kept "teleporting" between these and other locations very rapidly. Then, I was overwhelmed by extreme fear and anxiety.
Around this time, my friend came back to the room and asked if I was ok. I started muttering some gibberish. I don't know what triggered it, but after this, my fear and anxiety escalated to the point that I thought I had somehow killed my friend
I thought I had somehow killed my friend
In retrospect, smoking this stuff while not knowing the actual dosage is a very bad idea.
I have never thought about any particular psychedelic experience as much as this. For months, I saw very unsettling flashbacks and dreams about this trip. When writing this report, it has been a fairly long time. Even though it was a bad trip, it taught me a lot about myself. It made me really think about my substance use. It also made me a more peaceful person. I would never want to live that nightmare in real life.
Exp Year: 2020 | ExpID: 116014 |
Gender: Not Specified | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Jan 26, 2022 | Views: 721 |
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DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2) |
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