Reinforcing the Decision to Quit Drinking
1V-LSD
Citation: Neopsy. "Reinforcing the Decision to Quit Drinking: An Experience with 1V-LSD (exp116272)". Erowid.org. May 8, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116272
DOSE: |
150 ug | oral | 1V-LSD | (blotter / tab) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 75 kg |
I’m a 21-year-old psychology major. I have tripped several times with LSD, psilocybin mushrooms and DXM and a couple of times with MDMA, ketamine and amanita muscaria. I’ve also tried clonazepam, buprenorphine and pregabalin. I’ve been a heavy marijuana smoker in the past and have just quit drinking a week prior to the trip.
I’ve been a heavy marijuana smoker in the past and have just quit drinking a week prior to the trip.
The experience
T+0:30 I thought I was about an hour into the movie when I thought “This tab ain’t doing shit… or is it”. To check whether the Valerie was working, I paused the movie to go the bathroom and saw that only 20 minutes had passed. Yep, I was beginning to trip for sure. I watched the movie till the end, enjoying the intense physical sensations and conceptual thoughts about the hidden meanings of the movie.
T+1:45 I headed off to the sauna. Remembering to take clean clothes, a towel, a water bottle and keys was a relatively difficult task. In the sauna I would think about how happy I was with my decision to kick my alcohol habit, how the people I have met at uni have helped with my mental health and self-image and how hormetic stressors were my best tool for fixing my life the last time I had a turning point like this. In order to do and not just think, I took cold showers in between my sessions in the sauna.
T+2:30 I was back at my apartment and decided to do some hyperoxygenative breathing in order to experience intense physical states and see some major visuals. The visuals were bright, colorful female deities fused with nature themed and geometrical influences. What was new compared to earlier trips was the vulgarity of the imagery. The breasts and and vaginas were the focal points in my visual field the whole time and I just couldn’t move my eyes off them. I figured this overtly sexual thematic was due to stress, nofap, being single for a decent period and drinking too much for a duration of time. It was a clear sign to me that the decision to quit was the right thing to do in order to become focused on the right things in life.
T+3:15 after the breathing and some more introspection it was time to head outside. I went to a forest near my house, trying to breathe deep and focus on walking straight to keep myself as calm as possible. As I was on a beach next to the forest, I saw the sky was filled with stars like I hadn’t seen before. I decided to find a private spot on the edge of the forest and lay on the ground, watching the stars and the trees. My body had been overheating slightly due to the serotonergic activity and going to the sauna, so laying on my back on the cold snow calmed my mind down in seconds
laying on my back on the cold snow calmed my mind down in seconds
T+3:45 As I was walking back to home, I remember the single thought that I get on every major trip: The two peak human experiences are to be as present as possible in nature and to be as present as possible with other human beings. This thought reminded me how important it is to keep the bottle down and to minimize stress and neurotic behaviors in life. Mindfulness is the single best tool to a happy and fulfilled life, something I have always known but haven’t lived in a long time.
T+4:15 During the rest of the trip, I decided to just reflect on my recent life events and think about how I’m going to keep going in the future. One of the things that helped me make the decision to not drink was me opening up to a friend of mine about the issue for the first time ever. During the introspection, I didn’t only realize the importance of it, but also the reason for internalizing my problems for my whole life. Besides fearing being judged, I’ve also always gotten unsuitable help for my problems. Feels like I’ve mostly been told what I should do and that has reduced my desire to act in a sensible manner, due to the need of autonomy. What my friend told me that stuck to me was “There’s no doubt you can do it”. That struck me as the thing I needed to hear. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t know what to do, but instead feeling like no one else believes in me or wants me to succeed.
Another main theme I pondered was people’s intentions towards me. Due to being bullied and having low self esteem as a kid, I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life. In university, I had tried to be this “always in a good mood and fun to be around” type of person. But the people in university had also made me slowly realize that I’m cared for regardless of who I am or how I’m feeling currently. I decided to also let go of the scheme that I had to be something in order to be cared for. After the introspection I ate a bit and stayed awake till 3 am. I was exhausted but happy the morning after.
Afterthoughts
Now a couple of days after the trip I’ve been getting a lot better and still being strongly focused on improving. I’ll probably revisit these themes in my upcoming trip reports. If things go as planned, I’ll be able to take a more general and philosophical standpoint instead of discussing personal issues. The language I’ll use will hopefully be more poetic and descriptive.
Exp Year: 2022 | ExpID: 116272 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 21 | |
Published: May 8, 2022 | Views: 1,052 |
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ] | |
1V-LSD (957) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1) |
COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
Erowid Experience Vault | © 1995-2024 Erowid |