Synesthesia, Anxiety, Egodeath, a Short Trip
2C-B & Lamotrigine
Citation: haben. "Synesthesia, Anxiety, Egodeath, a Short Trip: An Experience with 2C-B & Lamotrigine (exp116835)". Erowid.org. Dec 14, 2022. erowid.org/exp/116835
DOSE: |
1 tablet | oral | 2C-B | |
150 mg | oral | Pharms - Lamotrigine | (daily) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 350 lb |
I'm generally predisposed to anxiety. I daily use Vyvanse for work at 20mg and Lamatical for mood at 150mg. I intentionally skipped my Vyvanse the prior two days leading up to the party to make sure I'm well rested. I've done LSD, MDMA, and Ketamine (separately) 6-10 times each plus DMT once. DMT was one of the worst trips I've ever had. MDMA trips are usually a mixed bag, it amps up my social anxiety big time but also lowers my inhibitions so I'm still able to enjoy the euphoria even if it's at the same time as anxiety. LSD and Ketamine have only ever been a really good time where I learn a lot. Weed makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack. I don't drink and very rarely have caffeine.
Based on my readings and my friends' accounts 20mg I should still be somewhat in control of my train of thought but still have a very trippy time. I'm hosting a house party with people I'm fairly comfortable with, we're a cuddly bunch and have a dance floor and cuddle pile.
T+ 0:00: I decide to drop at the start of my DJ set at 10pm so that the comeup/peak should happen right near the end of my set and I should be able to sleep by 4-6am. My stomach has a little food left in it from snacks and dinner but not much.
T+00:30 I'm partway through my DJ set I'm getting way more into the beat and groove than I'm used to, it's really nice and euphoric. I'm starting to get a synesthesia between the music, the waveforms displayed on my laptop, and the textures of my control deck. The feelings cross into each other and into my sense of taste, texture and smell. It's a very unique experience. Colors are brighter and more saturated, I have depth of field in my hearing.
T+ 00:45 I hit a pretty good transition in my mix and see people on the dance floor going ham and the euphoria from that is extreme. The synesthesia is super intense and I can feel all my senses merging into one.
The synesthesia is super intense and I can feel all my senses merging into one.
T+ 01:00: The trip gets too intense to DJ anymore and I can't focus on discrete tasks anymore. I'm unable to operate my laptop and get someone to help me put on a prerecorded mix and hit the cuddle pile. I'm very high, words are hard. All parts of my being are becoming one.
T+ 01:15: I start to get very gushy with some friends in the kitchen talking about how sublimely beautiful everything is. Water and chips taste so good. My mindset is pretty unique, like a candy flip but simpler and cleaner. Everything is beautiful and I'm part of the fabric of reality. There's an undulating rainbow halo around my field of vision.
T+ 01:30: I finally make it up to the cuddle pile and cuddling and hugging has never felt so good. Any visual stimuli is too intense, it pours over into my other senses and overwhelms me. There is too much synesthesia for me to attempt to pick apart any visuals so I close my eyes. The closed visuals are incredible, fractal technicolor spirals made from tetrahedrons spiral in from the corners of my vision. I'm vaguely aware my muscles are clenching way worse than on MDMA and the soreness in my back but the euphoria is way deeper than MDMA.
T+ 1:45: I start to really disassociate and I'm pretty sure I hit ego death or just plain old blackout. There are only the spirals and physical intimacy, sensations mixed and then distilled into a timeless pool of euphoria.
T+ 2:00: My ego comes back. I realize I'm making out with a friend I've made out with before. I'm trying to focus on sensations but it feels kind of numb because the synesthesia is so strong I can hardly tell them apart. It reminds me a little bit of a K-Hole. The missing experiences of the past and the overwhelming sensations of the present cause a spike of panic. I leave the cuddle pile and sit in a quiet space.
T+ 2:15: The closed eye visuals and euphoria are gone. Just the strange body drunkenness of LSD remains but my mind feels sharp. I start to get really neurotic about the state of the party like I absolutely need to make sure everyone is having an amazing time or it will reflect on me poorly as one of the hosts. I talk through this my partner.
T+ 2:45: I'm calmer now and can interact pretty normally. I'm still pretty shook up from the panic attack so I take it easy. My back hurts and the skin under my nose feels really irritated. My temperature perception has finally returned, I realize I'm cold. I take an ibuprofen and wrap up in a blanket. Still feeling like I'm on the tail end of an LSD trip.
T+ 3:30: Almost all of the psychedelic effects feel gone and everything feels very normal. I'm physically much better with the Ibuprofen. I'm still too stimulated to sleep though. I'm just bored and tired.
T+ 8:00: After 4 hours of pretty much nothing I'm finally able to sleep.
Overall it was a pretty incredible and unique experience. It wasn't until a week later did I figure out that this trip was my first ego death, which is probably why I was so anxious. I was lead to believe the active effects would last longer and be less intense and haven't read of anyone else getting ego death and/or pretty much blacking out at this dose either. In the future I think I'll split my 20mg tabs in half and spread the doses out by about 2hrs. I'll also make sure to take some ibuprofen and magnesium before too to help with the pretty intense body load.
7/10 with a potential to be 12/10 with better dosing, setting, and experience under my belt.
Exp Year: 2022 | ExpID: 116835 |
Gender: Not Specified | |
Age at time of experience: 28 | |
Published: Dec 14, 2022 | Views: 655 |
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Pharms - Lamotrigine (432), 2C-B (52) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), Large Group (10+) (19) |
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