DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Ketamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

It's been a hot/cold minute since I've done any psychedelics. Several months at this point. But tonight, out of the blue I decided to rattle the rubble around. To try and spark some new growth from the cold heavy rock for a brain that has been holding me underwater for months now. I know I'm speaking in riddles but I'll spare you the details. Life has been nothing but dire straits. And there unfortunately isn't a way to fix it. For the sake of brevity, I know end of life family affairs aren't meant to be easy. This however has been 90 seconds to midnight for almost a year now. There should be Oscar's for the stories I won't tell. But instead of giving out awards I'll have to settle for R-KETAMINE
I'm starting the night on my deck.

Earbuds, lo-fi chill hop.
Deck, 1 am, light rain.
Warm enough to be outside at night.
The first bump made me melt, scrolling apps on my existential crisis rectangle (aka phone)
Shopping tapestries and rugs on wish.
Very calm. The night seems to be peace with me and I at peace with it.
I dont feel any eyes on me.
I feel alone with the faint light from my street.
I can smell the rain.
I hobbled inside for a couple bumps of ketamine, and wandered back out.
Not on a mission tonight.
Just resting and wandering.

2am
Starting to feel a little too wonky to be outside.
I could honestly lay down and sleep out here either through the numbness of ketamine or its actually a summer night, I can't tell.
Making my way to my bedroom to do a couple more bumps.
Wish I could take the atmosphere of the night with me inside.

*3ish (Added this paragraph after while it was still fresh just to have some sort of continuity)
Layed in my bed, eyes closed.
Doing the odd bump between ketamine dreams.
My cat (George aka kitterbean) was cuddled near my hips.
Occasionally he would move and become part of my trip.
A lot of the scenes involved rain as the chill hop tracks had rain playing throughout them.
It was super tactile.
So present at times I could almost feel it spattering on my cheeks.

3:41 AM
An auditorium.
The film has just finished.
The edges of my vision have film burn.
No one is in any seats.
They're all red velvety and covered in dust.
Just me floating around the with the dust caught in the light.
I dont feel much sense of my body being there.
I almost feel as if I'm as small as the particles of dust.
Watching the curtains close and my perspective was swimming or floating through the air.
As I opened my eyes there was a few seconds of my dream and the real room merging.
My peripherals had the seats and the curtains in them, but the center of the stage was a tapestry my head was pointing at when I had my eyes closed.
It's two koi fish swimming to meet each other. One orange and vibrant one black and water colored.
*this was my fav part of my trip.
Very metaphorically fitting for the existential introspective thoughts I was processing.

4:11
A bathroom, with a bathtub and leaves and vines everywhere.
The tub was filled up but i didn't see anyone in the room.
Had a feminine vibe to the room.
Street light spills in through stained glass and it's casting reflections on the water on hardwood floor.

Another scene was my bedroom and deck but from impossible angles like laying on the ceiling.
Constantly shifting and moving my perspective slowly around the room.

Laying in a bed I've never seen before, watching shapes shift. As if days and weeks are passing.
I'm stationary in the room but the room is shifting with new decorations and new blankets.
There is a couple, a female wrapped in a purple blanket on the left side of the bed. Sprawled out almost completely covered by the blanket.
It's almost just a feeling that I know it was a feminine figure.

A deck very similar to mine but there is a brick wall, and laid-back plastic patio seating with champagne glasses.

A street that looks like Italy.
I'm passing someone on a scooter and they stent noticing me at all.
It's daytime but my vision is so speckled that it's hard to make out the sidewalk.
The streets looks more like bricks than the pave that I'm used to.

*there was a million more things I didn't write down at the time and I'll probably forget about tomorrow.
Needed this.
I can feel a couple ounces of weight off my shoulders right now.
Still can't sleep, and I'm reading back my snippets of my trip.
I very much felt like a "fly on the wall" in most of my ketamine visions.
Thanks for reading, tell your people you love them.

*(adding this before bed)
Weighed what was left from a gram and I did about 300ish mg during my trip from 1am till about 4am.
Don't do this much if you're new to ketamine. Tolerance plays into how much you can do.
Stay weird.
Be safe.
❤

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117285
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Sep 29, 2023	Views: 15
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Ketamine (31) : Poetry (43), General (1), Alone (16)