DOSE:	3 g	oral	Mushrooms
	12 oz	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

Time of Ingestion: 8:30 pm
Comedown: ~2 am

It’s Halloween, & I took a train to visit my best friend L and some of our friends for a Halloween party. I don’t know them very well, we’ve only known each other for 2 years now and they’re all like 8 yrs older, but we’re all comfortable around each other. I’ve just gone out 3 nights in a row to some underground diy shows in my area to photograph and chill with some new friends, and I haven’t slept properly for around 2 weeks now, but I’ve been looking forward to this for a while so I thought, why the hell not.

So some necessary background: I have MDD, along with a bunch of undiagnosed mental disorders (relevant ones: most likely Bipolar Type II/schizoaffective), mainly because the psychiatrists I’ve seen were unable to make a formal diagnosis and prescribe me stuff due to me moving around all the time. I’m also going through some accidental Kundalini awakening atm and feel like while I’m not close to psychosis yet, I’m on the way. Been immersing myself into the pursuit of esoteric knowledge, Hermeticism, alchemy, Jung, etc. Anyways, this is important so you can know my mindset going into this; at this time I was pretty hypomanic, feeling extremely connected to the universe and people, been experiencing tons of synchronicity lately , and ready to relax with chiller company than the chaos I’ve been around for the past few days.

We’re all around the bonfire and a few of us decided to take around 3g shrooms each that R turned into a honey-lemon tea, and there are 6 of us just sitting around the bonfire catching up. I remember it starting to kick in around the time I was feeling slightly nauseous and fuzzy (which quickly went away), things were beginning to get esoteric, R started talking ab how thankful she was for everyone around her, then I saw a face on the shed behind A, and then this demonic Punisher skull and masquerade mask emerged from the firewood and stayed there until the log finished smoldering. During the entire trip, I felt calm overall, and seeing these entities before, I only feel this intuitive sense of discomfort around them, rather than malice; they’re low-level. I try talking to them, and H is looking at me weird, so I stop, and they don’t talk back anyways, so I take the stick and start poking at it instead.

This strange thing happened where it was like we were all in an IMAX dome, there were 3 groups of people having different conversations at once and I was listening to all of them but not fully invested, but still participating, if that makes sense? I’m pretty non-verbal in social settings, and usually shrooms make me more social, but this time it made me even more reserved. Our tripsitter C was the anchor for me this time, like a spirit guide or a narrator of this chapter of the everlasting unfolding story called life. I tell the group I’m trying to identify the vibe of the night, it’s like we’re all riding a wave and I’m straggling behind, but I’m slowly learning and they’re helping me out.

It feels like being a kid again and crawling under that mini planetarium thing with everyone in kindergarten, and the teacher is all around us and part of us. I saw the contrails in the sky turn into a giant hexagram around the full moon, and the smiley faces in the trees returned. For context, this past summer I took 1g shrooms with L in the woods, and when I was coming down, whenever I would blink, this landscape of white smiley faces, like the cartoon ones that look like :) appeared, like a texture on a 3D render, then dissipated once I focused on something else. This time though, the smileys were on the come-up and were coating the leaves of the trees.

Now we’re all inside bc it’s too cold, L is tripping balls bc he said he was only gonna take a nibble but then took like 5-6 g, and we all took turns checking on him every hour to make sure he was alright because he’s like a cat, he likes to scurry off randomly and pop up later after we’ve been looking for him for a while, this time into some dark hole (his car) and listen to a podcast to calm himself down away from as much stimuli as possible, and for some reason I thought he was gonna die and then made everyone else anxious (sorry). C puts on the weirdest cboyardee-type videos, like that one where Jesus is baptizing people by smashing their heads with his forehead and then they drown, until the Alpha comes and he has to mega-smash it with his forehead but it doesn’t work, or something like that, experimental mycelic music, QOTSA, and it’s complete chaos, some people are talking, dancing, eating, etc, and I’m slumped on the couch and giggling and that’s where I remain for most of the rest of the night, just thinking and talking to myself, observing everything around me and occasionally adding some input. For some reason R thinks I’m losing it and keeps talking to C, asking if I’m alright, but C assures her everything is fine.

Then I go to the bathroom and make the mistake? of looking into the mirror…well nothing that strange, except my eyes are all black and I resemble a jester, and then I turn away and start to get scared, notice the white-tiled walls and general room around me morphing, shades of green and orange appear, and then I’m hearing this female voice that sounds like my voice at first, but it’s echoey and angelic, and it’s bouncing off the walls in a circle, kind of like that double-exposure thing some photographers do, but with sound. I am confident in my ability to manage my anxiety at this point, and instead of death spiraling, I simply tell the voice to be quiet because I am not interested in hearing what they have to say right now , and I just wanna chill with my friends, then I leave the bathroom and the voices get quieter until they go away.

I don’t remember much else from the trip, but as I was coming down and talking to D about music and sheiiit, I experience another moment of synchronicity. He’s telling me about how he and his sister do this telepathic thing, and the way he’s describing it, it’s exactly what I experienced at that bonfire; the separate conversations, like being an observer of all of them kind of floating above it all, not invested in any of them but still being a part of them.

L survived, and me, him, R, and H end up crashing at C’s place at around 3 am.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117705
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Nov 15, 2024	Views: 14
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Mushrooms (39) : Entities / Beings (37), Depression (15), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)